Cate and Lori revisit the great Cabbage Patch Kids panic of Christmas 1983 (but not before providing a dramatic reading of "The Legend of the Cabbage Patch Kids" for your listening pleasure).

Lori recounts the horror of being the last kid on Earth without a Cabbage Patch Kid, while Cate lends her midwife expertise to a genuine Cabbage Patch Kid "birth". The besties also get real about the pressures of "adoption" as 7 year olds, sex-ed via the cabbage patch, and just saying no to crazy capitalism on principle.

Video: Cabbage Patch Kids 'birthed' in store (1984)

Slate's Decoder Ring: The Cabbage Patch Kid Riots

K.I.T.

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