Slip us $50 dollars, we'll set you up with free cable, take you to the big satellite, buy you a hooker, and hold your girlfriend hostage. Wait that's not us, that's the plot of The Cable Guy (1996), with Jim Carrey and Matthew Broderick. It turns out this isn't a kids movie, and whoever let Evan watch this wasn't as responsible a parent as they were pretending to be.

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