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The Catastrophe of Divorce
Answer Life’s Big Questions within God’s Story
Throughout this summer, we will be discussing some of the most vexing questions facing the church today. We will not all agree on every answer. Can we agree to learn from each other and share a respectful dialogue where we differ?
Few issues touch as many tender hearts in our congregation as divorce. There is a sense in which divorce cannot be adequately discussed apart from a healthy discussion of what marriage is supposed to be! That being said, about half the congregation feels judged for their failure(s) in marriage. Almost all of us have at least one beloved relative who has suffered a divorce. We can all agree that divorce is tragic and catastrophic for families and children.
As a pastor, I believe that divorce is always wrong! It is however, sometimes a lesser wrong for a person faced with adulteries, abandonment, and violence.
Read carefully, and in light of recent archeology, we can find four reasons for a lesser wrong kind of divorce in the Bible: an intentional failure to provide basic needs like food and clothing, and an intentional refusal of marital rights in the bedroom. These can be found in Exodus 21:7-11. Abandonment is an extreme case of this and can be found in I Corinthians 7:10-15. Deuteronomy 24:1-2, Mark 10:4-9, and Matthew 19:3-8 discuss divorce for adultery. Jesus is clear: The ideal is to remain married, even if one's spouse has committed adultery. But when the innocent party cannot get past the offense because of the hardness of their heart, God allows divorce with a written statement.
What is a "hardness of the heart"? In most cases, it describes a person who is unwilling to change their mind and actions and repent. I believe there are also times when a person cannot change their mind and actions out of fear or hopelessness. At these times, it may be less wrong to seek a divorce than to stay in a soul-crushing marriage. Who can judge such things? Certainly people outside the home cannot assume they know the truth and offer their judgment! Only the person paralyzed by unforgiveness, fear, or hopelessness can say when they must end a marriage. As a community, we are called to walk with each other in good times and bad times. Let us not further injure those oppressed by a divorce!
Can divorced persons serve as Christian leaders? This must be taken on a case-by-case basis. Our process at Good Shepherd allows humbled and repentant sinners to serve as leaders.
Those who want to explore the archeology and history of divorce should start with David Instone-Brewer, Divorce and Remarriage in the Church, InterVarsity, 2006.
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By www.goodshepherdutah.comAnswer Life’s Big Questions within God’s Story
Throughout this summer, we will be discussing some of the most vexing questions facing the church today. We will not all agree on every answer. Can we agree to learn from each other and share a respectful dialogue where we differ?
Few issues touch as many tender hearts in our congregation as divorce. There is a sense in which divorce cannot be adequately discussed apart from a healthy discussion of what marriage is supposed to be! That being said, about half the congregation feels judged for their failure(s) in marriage. Almost all of us have at least one beloved relative who has suffered a divorce. We can all agree that divorce is tragic and catastrophic for families and children.
As a pastor, I believe that divorce is always wrong! It is however, sometimes a lesser wrong for a person faced with adulteries, abandonment, and violence.
Read carefully, and in light of recent archeology, we can find four reasons for a lesser wrong kind of divorce in the Bible: an intentional failure to provide basic needs like food and clothing, and an intentional refusal of marital rights in the bedroom. These can be found in Exodus 21:7-11. Abandonment is an extreme case of this and can be found in I Corinthians 7:10-15. Deuteronomy 24:1-2, Mark 10:4-9, and Matthew 19:3-8 discuss divorce for adultery. Jesus is clear: The ideal is to remain married, even if one's spouse has committed adultery. But when the innocent party cannot get past the offense because of the hardness of their heart, God allows divorce with a written statement.
What is a "hardness of the heart"? In most cases, it describes a person who is unwilling to change their mind and actions and repent. I believe there are also times when a person cannot change their mind and actions out of fear or hopelessness. At these times, it may be less wrong to seek a divorce than to stay in a soul-crushing marriage. Who can judge such things? Certainly people outside the home cannot assume they know the truth and offer their judgment! Only the person paralyzed by unforgiveness, fear, or hopelessness can say when they must end a marriage. As a community, we are called to walk with each other in good times and bad times. Let us not further injure those oppressed by a divorce!
Can divorced persons serve as Christian leaders? This must be taken on a case-by-case basis. Our process at Good Shepherd allows humbled and repentant sinners to serve as leaders.
Those who want to explore the archeology and history of divorce should start with David Instone-Brewer, Divorce and Remarriage in the Church, InterVarsity, 2006.