I was sold a trainwreck, and I’m annoyed I didn’t get it. While the CATS movie is not the unmitigated disaster that trailers and production reports hinted at, it is arguably something much worse. For a movie starring Taylor Swift, Idris Elba, and Jennifer Hudson about a cult of teeny-tiny cats who sing and dance in hopes that Judi Dench will choose them to die, CATS is incredibly, confusingly boring.