Remember the Segway? Hailed as the future of urban mobility, destined to redesign cities and revolutionize how we move. Instead, it became a five-thousand-dollar punchline, abandoned in gutters and ridiculed as the "Segway Constant"—the immutable law that no matter how clever the machine, the human on it looks like a startled heron. In this searing audit, Marcus and Katie dissect the infamous "tech-savior pathology" that birthed the Segway, contrasting its lofty ambitions with its humiliating reality. Was it an engineering marvel, or a monument to a problem that never existed?