The Femme Cast | Unapologetic Visibility & Impact Soul-Led Women

The Childhood Crush That Started It All: How I Became Addicted to Chasing Emotionally Unavailable Men


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What do anonymous prank calls, elaborate route detours, and fifth-grade crushes have to do with your love life today?

Turns out… everything.

In this raw, soul-baring episode of The Femme Cast, I take you on a time-traveling trip back to junior high, when love first felt like a game I had to win. These seemingly innocent childhood crushes didn’t just capture my heart; they unknowingly initiated me into a decades-long obsession with emotionally unavailable men. From stalking lockers and rehearsing conversations to planning "accidental" run-ins with military precision, I became the Navy SEAL of strategic self-abandonment — all in the name of being seen, chosen, and loved.

But here's the truth I didn’t learn until much later in life. 

"When you're chasing someone else, you're almost always running from yourself."

This episode is for every woman who's ever felt like love was something she had to earn, convince someone of, or perform for.

We’ll unpack: 

  • Why chasing emotionally unavailable men gave me the illusion of control
  • How early attachment wounds quietly shaped my definition of love and safety
  • The grief and liberation of realizing that we cannot control who loves us or when
  • The moment I finally stopped chasing and started choosing me

You'll hear the behind-the-scenes of my most humiliating crush stories (yes, they're hilarious and heartbreaking), the emotional aftermath of my most recent long-term breakup, and the deep spiritual reckoning that followed.

If you've ever wondered why you keep attracting emotionally unavailable men, or why you feel addicted to the chase, then this episode is your mirror, your medicine, and your permission slip to stop chasing and start receiving.

Because the truth is, real love doesn’t require a performance.
And your worth was never up for debate.

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A deep-dive session to help ambitious, soul-led women break free from emotional blocks, heal old patterns, and fully reclaim their power, purpose, influence, and impact.
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The Femme Cast | Unapologetic Visibility & Impact Soul-Led WomenBy Maria Rei

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