You Are What You Consume - Food, Friends, Fear & Foundations

Some people consume content all day and still wonder why they feel lost… others get curious, take action, and build an entirely different life from it.

In this episode, we sit down with Caleb — “The Black Irish Realtor” — entrepreneur, food lover, athlete, realtor, and owner of Ideal Nutrition, for a hilarious and eye-opening conversation on identity, nutrition, business, culture, self-belief, and what it means to actually create a life instead of just consuming one. IG - @theblackirishrealtor

From growing up mixed race in Ireland and struggling to fit in, to moving to America on a rugby scholarship with no blueprint, Caleb shares how curiosity, risk-taking, and staying authentic shaped his evolution. We dive into food quality differences between Europe and America, preservatives, health, entrepreneurship, and why most people are overcomplicating success instead of simply taking the next step. Between stories about selling perfume samples at school, working bars, selling cars, real estate, dogs taking over couches, and learning business from old Irish hustlers, this episode blends humor with real perspective on building resilience and multiple streams of income.

This conversation is also a reminder that your environment matters. The people you surround yourself with, the food you consume, the content you watch, and the risks you’re willing to take all shape your future. Because choosing yourself isn’t just motivation—it’s learning how to create systems, routines, and opportunities that align with who you’re becoming.

Takeaways ⬇️

• Curiosity can become your career if you’re willing to act on it
• The food we consume impacts far more than just weight
• Your environment either expands your thinking or limits it
• Simplicity and consistency beat overcomplication
• Taking risks is necessary if you want a different life
• Real growth often starts when you leave your comfort zone

At some point, we all have to decide… Are we going to keep consuming life passively or start creating something meaningful from what we’ve been given?

Your story, your culture, your struggles, and your curiosity might be the exact ingredients needed to build your future.

“Keep it simple. Start somewhere. Figure it out as you grow.”

🐬 Grow With Us ⬇️

🐬 CYC Zoom (Tuesdays 10 a.m.)

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📖 Choose Yourself to Be Chosen

🎙️ Choose Yourself Channel

Some people spend their whole life avoiding discomfort… others walk through the fire and learn how to become stronger because of it.

In this episode, we sit down with Joe Spector - ex-firefighter, speaker, emotional resilience expert, husband, and father... for one of the deepest conversations yet on trauma, identity, grief, emotional regulation, and what it really means to choose yourself when life completely falls apart.

From being a police officer and fire captain to losing his career after a traumatic brain injury, Joe opens up about the spiral that followed: financial stress, grief, loss, emotional shutdown, family tension, and ultimately reaching a breaking point that forced him to finally face himself. This episode dives into the dangerous illusion of “having it all together,” especially for men taught to suppress emotions instead of process them.

We break down the parallels between firefighting and life itself - learning how to prepare for adversity, regulate your nervous system under pressure, and stop bleeding unhealed pain onto the people you love most. From breathwork and therapy to parenting, faith, and rebuilding identity after loss, this conversation is packed with wisdom, humor, truth, and practical perspective for anyone navigating hard seasons.

Takeaways ⬇️

• You can be successful on the outside and still be suffering internally
• Choosing yourself is not selfish, it’s how you become dependable for others
• Emotional regulation is a skill set, not a personality trait
• Your children don’t just need provision… they need presence
• Everything you want in life is on the other side of your comfort zone
• Healing starts when you stop avoiding what hurts

At some point, life stops asking how productive you are… and starts asking how prepared you are internally when everything changes.

Because adversity doesn’t build character out of nowhere, it reveals the foundation that was already there... and sometimes the strongest thing a person can do… is finally ask for help then back it up with acceptance and accountability.

CONNECT WITH JOE

“You can’t keep bleeding on people who didn’t cut you.”

🐬 Grow With Us ⬇️

🐬 CYC Zoom (Tuesdays 10 a.m.)

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📖 Choose Yourself to Be Chosen

🎙️ Choose Yourself Channel

Some people think choosing yourself is ego… but it’s actually returning to the version of you that existed before the world started programming you.

In this episode, we sit down with Thanecha - creator, coach, and community builder whose story started in survival mode: homelessness, instability, and navigating life without a clear foundation... but what makes this conversation powerful isn’t just where she came from… it’s how she chose to rewrite what was possible.

From overcoming a poverty mindset to stepping into creativity through music, fitness, and community, this episode breaks down what it really means to stay curious, stay open, and build your identity through experience instead of expectation. We dive into spirituality, inner child healing, relationships, and the power of setting boundaries because growth isn’t just about doing more… it’s about becoming someone who no longer tolerates what once held them back.

Takeaways ⬇️

• Your environment may shape you, but it doesn’t have to limit you
• Staying curious is one of the most powerful tools for growth
• You don’t need to know the full path—you need to take the next step
• Boundaries are a sign of self-respect, not selfishness
• Healing your inner child isn’t weakness—it’s responsibility

At some point, we all reach a moment where we have to decide… Are we going to keep living from survival patterns or start creating from self-awareness?

You’re not just your story… you’re what you choose to do with it.

“You don’t need permission to become who you already are.”

Grow With Us ⬇️

🐬 CYC Zoom (Tuesdays 10 a.m.)

❤️‍🩹 Gut Repair Solution

🏝️ CYC annual Retreat (Sedona, AZ)

📖 Choose Yourself to Be Chosen

🎙️ Choose Yourself Channel

Everybody wants to break generational patterns but not everybody is willing to admit they’re still a part of them.

In this episode, we sit down with Amrita, founder of Body by Mia and a powerful self-chooser from the CYC, who shares her journey of growing up between cultures, battling identity, body image, and expectations—and ultimately choosing herself.

From being told who she had to be… to realizing she didn’t even know who she was… this conversation dives into what it really takes to break free from conditioning, face your triggers, and build a life aligned with your truth. From emotional eating to extreme self-restriction, from seeking validation to driving across the country alone.. Amrita shows what it looks like to stop performing and start becoming.

But the real power is that she didn’t do it alone.

Through the Choose Yourself Community (CYC), she found accountability, support, and a space where growth is expected not optional. A community where being triggered isn’t an attack… it’s an invitation to evolve.

Takeaways ⬇️

• You can’t break chains until you recognize what you’re connected to
• Your environment may shape you but it doesn’t have to define you
• Healing isn’t just physical: it’s mental, emotional, and spiritual
• The courage to leave comes from having a plan and executing it
• Community creates belief when your self-belief is still catching up

At some point, you have to stop asking:

“Who do they want me to be?”

…and start deciding…

“Who am I choosing to become?”

Choosing yourself isn’t selfish, it’s how you become the example for everyone watching.

“You don’t lose yourself overnight… you lose yourself in patterns... and you find yourself the same way.”

Grow With Us ⬇️

🐬 CYC Zoom (Tuesdays 10 a.m.)

❤️‍🩹 Gut Repair Solution

🏝️ Annual CYC Retreat

📖 Choose Yourself to Be Chosen

🎙️ Choose Yourself Channel

Some people wait for the perfect moment… others start building with whatever they have.

In this episode, we sit down with Angel, owner of Benton Brew Coffee House, a creator, entrepreneur, and visionary who turned a 20-year dream into a real space for connection, creativity, and community.

This conversation dives into what it actually looks like to choose yourself while still working a 9–5, balancing responsibilities, and investing into your vision daily. From selling magazines as a kid to creating studios, coffee lounges, and creative spaces, Angel shows that success isn’t about one big moment.. it’s about stacking checkpoints, discipline, and belief over time.

We talk about the importance of routine, presence, and awareness, from something as simple as drinking water in the morning to being intentional with your time, your energy, and even how you eat because building your dream isn’t just about business… it’s about becoming someone who can sustain it.

Takeaways ⬇️

• Your dream doesn’t require you to quit everything, it requires you to use what you have wisely
• There isn’t always one “trigger point” ..growth is built through consistent checkpoints
• Presence is power! Whether in your work, your meals, or your relationships
• Your foundation (routines, discipline, awareness) determines your future
• You don’t need to know how you’ll get there but you must believe where you’re going

At some point, you have to decide… Are you going to keep consuming life or start creating something from it?

Your dream isn’t waiting on time… it’s waiting on you.

Some people go through trauma and stay stuck… others go through it and build something from it.

In this episode, we sit down with Tree Kadayso - a powerful self-chooser, mother, and leader in the CYC who shares how her story of childhood trauma, abuse, and environmental challenges didn’t define her… it refined her.

This conversation goes deep into what it really looks like to face your triggers, change your environment, and build a foundation strong enough to carry not just you but your family forward. From navigating generational patterns to raising kids with awareness, Tree shows that healing isn’t just personal… it’s legacy work.

We talk about the moments where it would’ve been easier to fall back into old habits and how choosing yourself daily, through discipline and community, creates a completely different future.. because at the end of the day, your past may shape you but your choices define you.

Takeaways ⬇️

• Your trauma is real but it doesn’t get to run your life forever
• Awareness is the first step but action is what changes everything
• Your environment can either trap you or transform you
• The foundation you build today impacts your entire family tomorrow
• Choosing yourself is how you break generational cycles

At some point, we all have to make a decision… Are we going to keep living from what happened to us or start building from who we’re becoming?

Our story isn’t our limitation… it’s our responsibility.

“You’re not your past… you’re your patterns ... and your patterns can change with you next choice.”

Grow With Us ⬇️

🐬 CYC Zoom (Tuesdays 10 a.m.)

❤️‍🩹 Choose Yourself, Heal Your Gut Webinar

🏝️ Costa Rica Retreat

📖 Choose Yourself to Be Chosen

🎙️ Choose Yourself Channel

Choosing yourself through trauma, triggers, and transformation

Nobody signs up for trauma… not you, not me, not your baby mama. But we all go through something. The real question is what are you doing with it?

In this preview, we talk about how pain can either keep you stuck or push you into your next level. From childhood abuse to self-abuse (yeah… hitting snooze, sugar overload, late-night cravings .. we see you), this episode calls out the habits that keep us in the same loop because it’s not just what happened to you… it’s what you keep doing to yourself after.

We introduce Tree Kadayso one of the strongest OG self-choosers I've ever encountered, whose story comes from real adversity - abuse, loss, traumatic childhood and a toxic environment where silence was normalized... but instead of staying in victim mode, she embraced the TEFIC process: triggers, environment, foundation, investment, and contribution and turned her pain into purpose!

Your past might not be our fault… but our future is 100% your responsibility.

So are you still sitting in the same story or are you ready to evolve?

Grow With Us ⬇️

🐬 CYC Zoom (Tuesdays 10 a.m.)

❤️‍🩹 Choose Yourself, Heal Your Gut Webinar

🏝️ Costa Rica Retreat

📖 Choose Yourself to Be Chosen

🎙️ Choose Yourself Channel

In this episode, we sit down with Joe Cubero (aka The Professional Ex) - author, creator, and relationship strategist who breaks down why so many people stay stuck in the same relationship cycles.

This isn’t about blaming your ex… This is about becoming the version of you that stops creating them.

We unpack the patterns, the ignored red flags, the lowered standards, and the identity you carry into every relationship whether you realize it or not.

You don’t attract what you want. You attract what you tolerate.

🔥 What We Cover

✨ Why most people repeat the same relationship patterns

✨ The difference between choosing someone vs. needing someone

✨ Red flags we see but ignore

✨ How your lifestyle and habits shape your love life

✨ Why healing is required, not optional

✨ Becoming someone who walks away with self-respect

Joe Cubero IG

Order Joe's Book - The Dating Playbook

Joe Cubero shares insights from his book, breaking down:

• The do’s, don’ts, and deal-breakers in modern dating
• How to recognize unhealthy patterns early
• What it really means to choose yourself in relationships

🌴 Live Event Announcement

We’re bringing this conversation to life…

📍 April 25th | Florida Workshop Joe Cubero x Hakeem Bourne McFarlane

A live experience focused on:

• Identity & self-worth
• Relationship standards
• Building a foundation that attracts aligned partnerships

This is more than a workshop… it’s a reset.

🐬 Choose Yourself Takeaway

If you keep attracting the same person in different bodies… It’s not coincidence—it’s conditioning.

Change your standards. Change your habits. Change your life.

🚀 Tap In

🎟️ Join the “CYC” for calendar details

📖 Grab Choose Yourself to Be Chosen

🎙️ Subscribe to the Choose Yourself Channel

In this preview, we break down a real problem in modern dating: overconsumption.

Too many options, too much scrolling, too much stimulation and not enough self-awareness, discipline, or intention.

This preview dives into why Choose Yourself is the foundation of dating because your relationships will always reflect the choices you’re making in your own life.

We talk about how this generation has made dating a game of consumption… instead of a process of growth, alignment, and identity.

You build it by becoming someone worth connecting with not chasing appearance or temporary satisfaction

This sets the tone for the full episode, where we go deeper into dating, identity, and self-mastery with The Professional Ex, Joe Cubero.

Tap into the preview… and start choosing yourself first!

When you keep donating your energy to everything else… eventually your body files a complaint.

Most people don’t intentionally sacrifice their health .. they slowly donate it like spare change. A little sleep skipped here, a meal rushed there, workouts postponed, stress normalized… until the body finally says enough.

In this episode of the Choose Yourself Channel, we sit down with Energy Ashley : educator, coach, parent, and one of the very first members of the Choose Yourself Community. Her journey began with a powerful trigger point: burnout, chronic pain, inflammation, and a moment where she literally found herself crawling across the floor because her body could no longer keep up with the life she was living.

Instead of staying stuck in survival mode, she chose to rebuild her life through the Choose Yourself process before even knowing what it was! ... shifting her mindset, repairing her health, building daily foundations, and rediscovering purpose on her own. A true self chooser!

Now she’s helping lead the next generation through CYC Kids, a branch of the Choose Yourself Community focused on helping parents, leaders, and young people build stronger foundations early in life. We meet monthly on zoom with other families, parents and leaders.

Because when you fix the foundation… the entire house begins to change.

Tap into this episode to hear how one decision to choose yourself can ripple into your family, your community, and the next generation.

@Energyashley

Choose Yourself Community (CYC) Weekly accountability + monthly CYC Kids leadership sessions.