For the past few years, our holiday episodes have been derailed by the same scourge: The Christmas Shoes. Because our friend Chris Dubrow can't stop playing the song whenever he's on our holiday episode, this year we did something a little different: we made him watch the 2002 The Christmas Shoes made-for-TV movie starring Rob Lowe. And we also watched it. How do you turn Christmas's most treacly, upsetting song into a heartwarming family movie? Turns out you don't! We watched an unbearable slog of a movie and try to pin down what went wrong.