This week on The CJ and Ted Show, the lads are finally back after a short break and immediately go off on one about… well, everything. CJ reveals he’s somehow become a three-times-a-day exercise guy with a home treadmill, rower and spin bike, while Ted processes this shocking development live on air. From there they wander into cold snaps and weird UK weather, and CJ accidentally becomes our unofficial traffic and travel correspondent with talk of motorway closures no one will remember in a week.

They then get properly stuck into takeaways, Just Eat, Deliveroo and delivery drivers who clearly stop at Asda mid-journey, before moving onto a long, sweary and very honest rant about the BBC licence fee, funding models, TV taxation and why everything seems worse value than it used to be. That somehow spirals perfectly into fish and chips, seaside chip shops, McFlurries, meal deals, and a love letter to perfect roast potatoes and chips.

The second half of the show is all about competitive eating: BeardMeatsFood, obscene breakfast challenges at the Pump House Café in Wellingborough, giant nugget boxes, and whether CJ and Ted should attempt a food challenge themselves (spoiler: they absolutely should). Along the way they cover salad vs gluttony, “eyes bigger than belly” logic, and the art of planning a full day of eating and drinking. It’s chaotic, ranty, oddly comforting – in other words, classic CJ and Ted.

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