Sometimes I get this feeling like a decision I made puts an inflection point in my life. A big shift in the direction I am going and the speed I am going at. I think this boat journey to Laos is one of those inflection points that I didn’t expect.
Let’s start at the beginning, and I’ll give you a how-to guide for having a random boat ride change how you see yourself.
Step 1: Be Scared and Alone
This first part sucks. I was coming from Thailand and had a really good time, but it was all together lonely. I didn’t talk to a ton of people and all the other people I met seemed isolated from each other in a way that made that distance hard to cross.
I crossed the border and met some nice people that we will talk about later, but that night got rough.
I was out of local currency and didn’t have an easy way to get it. I went to 4 ATM’s the first two were closed, the third didn’t accept my card, and the fourth looked like it would work and then promptly ate my card. I went across the street to ask the locals if they knew any way to help me and they said I would have to come back tomorrow when the bank was open.
Fear set in and between worrying about getting to the boat on time tomorrow, not having money, and not getting my card back, the thought that calmed me down was “worst case scenario I am stuck in this town another day.”
I went to sleep and resolved to figure it out when I woke up
Step 2: Figure it Out
The next morning I figured it out.
I exchanged my money.
I got my card.
I got to the boat on time.
Things were looking much better and I could feel myself relax.
Step 3: Social Butterfly
The boat ride I was on was from Houayxay to Luang Prabang. It takes 2 days and 8 hours each day on a boat with not much to do except look around and talk to travelers. So I decided to do just that! It felt obvious to me to wander around the boat talking to all of the interesting travelers on the ship and over the course of the day I met a whole crew of people from different worlds and with tons of stories to swap. My world lit up! This! Talking with new friends while on a gorgeous boat ride up a river. This is what I was missing.
Over the first day, the river rocked away any worries, and the people I met filled that space with wonder.
Step 4: Dinner Table
After docking and finding a hostel, me and eight other people found ourselves at a restaurant overlooking the Mekong river. We ate, laughed, shared stories, and enjoyed each other’s company.
I remember in that moment being tossed back in time to some of my favorite parts of college. Throughout college, my meals often looked like this. Tables being pushed together so more people could join then welcoming them with a laugh as friends.
I truly forgot how good company like this felt and how restorative it was.
Step 5: Deeper Talks
After the dinner, most people left and it ended up being me and two British guys, Joel and Ben. I had already talked to them for a while before the dinner and we had gotten past a lot of the basic introductions. This meant that the conversation started getting deeper. It drifted towards work and the future.
Joel works at a primary school teaching kids with additional needs and Ben works in e-commerce selling sports clothing. Both were traveling together and were in Laos for about a week or so.
As we talked, I realized that Ben and I were at the same crossroads. The jobs we have are safe and comfortable, but we aren’t sure if it’s giving us all that we want. We both liked the jobs we have and appreciate the comfort that comes, but there feels like something more out there.
For me, it’s living in China. I feel like the benefits and growth I am getting living in China are dwindling.
I expressed this to both of them and Ben said something like this:
“I really admire that you can move around and talk to people like you do. I think if you can do this solo travel, you can do a lot. I know I wouldn’t be able to do something like this without Joel. If you want to go and explore, then you can and the fact that you’re able to go up to people and be so friendly will help you a lot.”
Then Joel added.
“And it’s so hard to do that nowadays, because everyone seems so distracted in their own world especially with phones taking people’s attention. The ability to break that and also put up less of a barrier yourself is really good.”
Something clicked.
It was as if this crossroads between safety and adventure became clearer. I don’t have to choose. The safety I feel with a community in China and the worry I have about being lonely while traveling aren’t things I need to worry about.
I will find people.
I can have emotional conversations with those people.
There will be lonely moments with anything I do and the cost of safety might be the biggest adventure I could have.
I kept hold of that seed of inspiration from this conversation.
Step 6: It’s Easier than I Thought
Later that night, the big group of us ended up at a bar, and among that group were two groups of people who turned that seed of inspiration into something more.
The first was a solo traveler from Brazil named Isabella. She has this virtuosity? and wonder that has moved her all around the world trying life on at least three continents and living for long stretches of life traveling. She gave me two ideas. The first was an app called Worldpackers that was a key part of how she traveled and learned long-term skills from locals. This showed me functionally that I could travel longer and for cheaper than I thought. The second was a story about how she was robbed in Mexico City and how that seemingly awful event led to her learning scuba diving and living for 6 months on the beach while getting certifications in scuba that cost much more than the money taken from her. This eased some part of me I didn’t know was worried. Sometimes awful things happen and sometimes it’s just what you need to land somewhere beautiful you never expected.
The second group was three guys from Spain: Pablo, Javier, Luis. Luis and Javier had been traveling for 6 months from Istanbul all the way through Central Asia, India, China, and Southeast Asia. Pablo met them the day before I did and the bond they already had was inspiring. More than one conversation I had with them the three of them showed me that it isn’t just crazy people online, it is possible to travel like this. But not only that, but that you can make lots of friends on the way and live moment by moment day by day taking wonder and struggle as it comes.
Step 7: Solidify the Feeling
The next day we got back on the boat and I had the last conversation that made this seed of inspiration fully bloom. I sat next to Kai who I had met the day before.
Almost instantly we became friends and started talking about life and our plans for the future. Two things really stuck with me, the first was this sentiment about dream jobs:
“If I had to do this for the next 10 years would I want to?”
This idea makes decisions easier and when I use it to reflect on my own job situation, I wouldn’t want to be in this spot in 10 years. Each day staying in the life I’m doing now is a vote to keep on that path. It will always take a jump and that jump only gets higher the more you stay put.
The second major idea was about how high and low traveling solo can take you and how comfortable having fellow travelers makes the process. We both talked about the last few days and how the company of strangers eased a journey along.
Step 8: Now What?
Now I look at the future. I look at my path. I will travel more and adventure more, it is a fact of my life at this point. Right now it is simply a matter of figuring out how and what wondrous place I want to see next.
P.S. The world can be magic if you choose to see it that way
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