The Good Spiral

The Company We Keep (and Why It Matters)


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In this episode of The Good Spiral, Scottie and Tanvi reflect on how friendship evolves across life stages and cultures, guided by three core pillars: emotional safety, reciprocity, and shared growth. From playground bonds to adult chosen family, they unpack how real connection both comforts and challenges us — shaping who we become.

Backed by research and real stories (including Tanvi’s experience growing up in India and Scottie’s reflections as a student therapist), this conversation explores how to nurture healthy, lasting friendships — and how to know when you’ve found your people. 💞

Stay tuned till the end for gentle reflection prompts and tangible steps to build your own community of care.


References:

Bauminger, N., Finzi-Dottan, R., Chason, S., & Har-Even, D. (2008). Intimacy in adolescent friendship: The roles of attachment, coherence, and self-disclosure. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 25(3), 409–428. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407508090866

Bokhorst, C. L., Sumter, S. R., & Westenberg, P. M. (2010). Social support from parents, friends, classmates, and teachers in children and adolescents aged 9 to 18 years: Who is perceived as most supportive? Social Development, 19(2), 417–426. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9507.2009.00540.x

Chaudhary, N., & Sharma, N. (2012). Cultural perspectives on adolescence in India: Identity, autonomy, and connectedness. In B. B. Jensen (Ed.), Cultural Perspectives on Adolescence (pp. 67–88). Springer.

Denworth, L. (2020). Friendship: The Evolution, Biology, and Extraordinary Power of Life’s Fundamental Bond. W. W. Norton & Company.

French, D. C. (2015). Friendship in childhood and adolescence. In R. M. Lerner (Ed.), Handbook of Child Psychology and Developmental Science (7th ed., Vol. 3, pp. 1–45). Wiley.

Galatzer-Levy, I. R., & Bonanno, G. A. (2012). Beyond normality in the study of bereavement: Heterogeneity in depression outcomes following loss in older adults. Social Science & Medicine, 74(12), 1987–1994. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.socscimed.2012.02.022

Harvard Health Publishing. (2021). The health benefits of strong relationships. Harvard Medical School. https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/the-health-benefits-of-strong-relationships

Isherwood, L. M., King, D. S., & Luszcz, M. A. (2017). A longitudinal analysis of social engagement in the oldest old. Journals of Gerontology: Series B, 72(6), 977–986. https://doi.org/10.1093/geronb/gbw132

Jadhav, A., & Weir, D. (2017). Widowhood and depression in a cross-national perspective: Evidence from the United States, Europe, Korea, and China. Journals of Gerontology: Series B, 73(8), e143–e153. https://doi.org/10.1093/geronb/gbx021

Larson, R. W., Verma, S., & Dworkin, J. (2000). Connectedness and autonomy in the daily lives of Indian adolescents. New Directions for Child and Adolescent Development, 88, 51–69. https://doi.org/10.1002/cd.23220008806

Legerski, E. M., Cornwall, M., & O’Neil, B. (2015). Gendered friendship patterns in adolescence and adulthood. Gender Issues, 32(2), 71–88. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12147-015-9137-7

Radmacher, K., & Azmitia, M. (2006). Are there gendered pathways to intimacy in early and late adolescents’ friendships? Journal of Adolescent Research, 21(4), 415–448. https://doi.org/10.1177/0743558406287402

Skool of Life. (2023, March 12). The evolution of friendship across different life stages. Medium. https://skooloflife.medium.com/the-evolution-of-friendship-across-different-life-stages-c46b1788a0cb

Uchino, B. N., Bowen, K., Carlisle, M., & Birmingham, W. (2023). Social relationships and health: A review of the evidence and implications for health policy. Frontiers in Psychology, 14, 1159398. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1159398

Way, N. (2004). Intimacy, desire, and distrust in the friendships of adolescent boys. In N. Way & J. Y. Chu (Eds.), Adolescent Boys: Exploring Diverse Cultures of Boyhood (pp. 167–196). NYU Press.

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The Good SpiralBy Tanvi Chitnis and Scottie Trimble