In this solo episode of Define Normal, host Shelbi explores the challenges of balancing past friendships with her present identity. Growing up in the predominantly white, conservative suburbs of Dayton, Ohio, meant navigating spaces where she couldn’t fully express herself. Now, as a Black woman living in New York City, Shelbi reflects on how she’s showing up authentically for the first time and how that’s impacted her relationships.

She shares the concept of archival friendships—those relationships formed during earlier stages of life—and discusses the tension that arises when her newer friends struggle to understand those connections. Shelbi also opens up about feeling judged for her past self while embracing the freedom to define her normal.

If you’ve ever felt torn between your past and present selves or grappling with the complexities of evolving friendships, this episode is for you.

Resources Mentioned:

• Friendship Breakup episode of Table Pancakes

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