Here’s what happened on this episode of The Crispy Noodle Podcast:

* Cold Open — Bruno was coughing too much

* Introduction — We explain last week’s snow fiasco; Mike finished Horizon: Zero Dawn; Rich’s March Madness bracket is already shot (Thanks, Villanova…)

* Sports Sampler

* 2-Minute Drill — Karl Malone agrees with Rich about LeBron James voluntairly missing season games; Patriots trade 1st-round pick for Brandin Cooks

* Our reaction to the Eagles’ moves in Free Agency so far

* Will the Eagles trade up/down or stay put in the draft this year?

* Shaq is a “flat-earther” apparently… Why are so many NBA players questioning whether the Earth is round?

* Entertainment Entree

* Who is Alex Jones? This supercut explains!

* Mike’s “This Week in Entertainment”

* We play the first level of Mass Effect: Andromeda — Is there cause for concern that the game won’t live up to the hype? Could stale graphics ruin BioWare’s new story?

* “The Non-Fortune Cookie” Odd News

* A Canadian man has decided to do a balloon chair story of his own

* Girlfriend tries to smuggle meth to her boyfriend with a religious fervor

* Florida man really just wanted to cook some hot dogs

* Pair of brothers bond in a really weird, drug-fueled way

* What Have We Learned & Conclusion

Thanks for listening to The Crispy Noodle Podcast!