In this conversation, Katherine Spearing discusses her new book, 'A Thousand Tiny Papercuts,' which explores the complexities of spiritual abuse and the journey to reclaim autonomy after leaving high-control religious environments. The discussion delves into the insidious nature of spiritual abuse, the confusion experienced by individuals trying to navigate their faith, and the emotional turmoil that often follows leaving such systems. The conversation also highlights the importance of understanding the BITE model of control and the potential for thriving after leaving these environments, emphasizing the need for healing and self-acceptance.

Join Catherine Quiring in conversation with Megan Griffith, autistic and ADHD life coach, content creator, and author of Welcome to AuDHD: How to Survive and Thrive as an Adult with Autism and ADHD. This wide-ranging discussion explores what it means to live at the intersection of autism and ADHD, from communication differences and alexithymia to masking, self-trust, and disability identity.

Megan shares her diagnostic journey through misdiagnosis, the research behind her book (including lived experience from her community), and practical tools like EFT tapping for emotional processing. Catherine and Megan discuss monotropic vs. polytropic thinking, the building blocks metaphor for masking, and how childhood emotional neglect affects neurodivergent people—even in loving homes where authentic selves weren't fully mirrored.

This episode offers validation, clarity, and hope for anyone navigating neurodivergence, whether self-diagnosed or formally assessed.

Resources:

Neuroclastic Directory

EFT (Emotion Freedom Technique) Tapping (with Sophia Graniela, another podcast guest)

“HSP or Autism?”

Neurodivergence Lived Experience Summit: 1/23-25/2026

Connect with Megan Website - Book

Connect with Catherine: Website - Substack - YouTube - Neurodivergent Self-Diagnosis Consultation

Key Topics:

• The History of AuDHD: Why autism and ADHD couldn't be diagnosed together until 2013 (DSM-5)

• Alexithymia Explained: Difficulty identifying emotions in the moment, but processing them later through "back doors" like journaling or intellectual processing

• EFT Tapping: A practical tool for accessing difficult emotions through meridian points and parasympathetic nervous system activation

• Communication Differences: How neurotypical people give 70% of information expecting you to fill in gaps, while autistic people typically give 100%

• Monotropic vs. Polytropic Thinking: Flashlight (deep focus) vs. lantern (broad attention) approaches to thinking and work

• Masking as Building Blocks: A trauma response metaphor—not a removable mask, but borrowed blocks that became part of your tower

• Self-Trust and Validation: How diagnosis (formal or self) can affirm "I was right about me all along"

• Disability Identity: Community perspectives on whether AuDHD is a disability, difference, or "it's complicated"

• Childhood Emotional Neglect: How unmirrored enthusiasm and unmet attachment needs affect neurodivergent children

• Intersectionality: Research findings on disability, police violence, and the "ugly laws" that prohibited visible disability in public until the 1970s

Practical Tools:

EFT Tapping (Emotional Freedom Techniques)

• Three-step process: Acknowledgment → Validation → Gentle Reframe

• Taps meridian points while processing difficult emotions

• Helps access emotions through the "back door" for those with alexithymia

The 24-Hour Rule for Self-Trust

• When trusted people disagree with your reality perception

• Put a pin in it for 24 hours

• Revisit to see if your perspective has shifted or held steady

• Neither perspective is necessarily "wrong"

Meta Conversations

• Pausing during disagreements to discuss how the conversation is happening

• Addressing tone, communication style, and assumptions

• Creating clarity about different communication preferences

Hi,⁠ I’m Catherine⁠. I’m grateful to share this time and space with you.

I’m a counselor living on the Emerald Coast of Florida, on the unceded land of the Muscogee. I am a creative, mystic, and neurodiverse adventurer. I love writing, creating, and connecting.

I love helping folx⁠ Befriend Your Inner Critic⁠,⁠ Become Your Own Best Friend⁠, and ⁠reclaim your untamed soul⁠.

Thank you for being here in this sacred space we get to co-create, as we come home to ourselves and enjoy the fruit of that self-belonging. I love hearing from you and⁠ walking alongside you⁠ on your journey.

My free gift to you: ⁠⁠3 steps to trust yourself⁠⁠.

With a full heart,

Catherine

Have you ever caught yourself in cycles of self-sabotage, then felt like this proved you were fundamentally flawed? For years, many of us were told this was evidence of our “sinful nature.” But what if that explanation isn’t just wrong—what if it’s creating the very problems it claims to solve?

This episode explores religious trauma through Internal Family Systems therapy, revealing how “dying to self” theology creates internal oppression, and offering a revolutionary alternative based on self-compassion rather than self-control.

What you’ll learn:

✓ How religious environments create the “Inner Controller”—an internal slave master

✓ Why “dying to self” doctrine is psychologically harmful, especially for sensitive minds

✓ The neuroscience showing self-compassion works better than self-control for growth

✓ Internal Family Systems alternative: parts with good intentions vs “sinful nature”

✓ Why your “self-sabotage” might actually be self-protection needing updates

✓ How to rebuild spirituality from wholeness rather than brokenness

Perfect for:

• Religious trauma survivors questioning harmful theology

• People deconstructing faith while wanting to maintain spiritual connection

• Anyone taught their emotions, body, or instincts can’t be trusted

• Those struggling with shame-based identity from religious conditioning

• Individuals healing from spiritual abuse or authoritarian religious environments

Key theological reframes:

• Human behavior stems from need-meeting, not cosmic battle between good/evil

• Your core Self already embodies “fruits of the spirit”—they’re not borrowed from outside

• Parts of you labeled “sinful” may actually be authentic aspects needing integration

• Self-compassion isn’t self-indulgence—it’s neurologically necessary for growth

Important notes:

• This episode respects diverse spiritual beliefs while addressing harmful applications

• Focuses on psychological healing, not theological debate

• Includes resources for religious trauma recovery

• Content may be triggering for those with severe religious trauma

If you’re struggling with:

• Depression or anxiety related to religious experiences

• Thoughts of self-harm connected to religious shame

• Severe religious trauma symptoms

Please reach out to mental health professionals trained in religious trauma recovery.

Part of the Befriending Your Inner Critics series: This penultimate episode addresses the Inner Controller—the critic formed in religious environments that taught you to distrust your own heart, mind, and instincts. Recovery involves updating these parts with compassionate truth.

Next steps: Befriend Your Inner Critic Course

Your worth is not contingent on your performance. You are loved exactly as you are.

Connect with Catherine: Website - Substack - Pinterest - YouTube

Hi, I’m Catherine. I’m grateful to share this time and space with you.

I’m a counselor living on the Emerald Coast of Florida, on the unceded land of the Muscogee. I am a creative, mystic, and neurodiverse adventurer. I love writing, creating, and connecting.

I love helping folx Befriend Your Inner Critic, Become Your Own Best Friend, and reclaim your untamed soul.

Thank you for being here in this sacred space we get to co-create, as we come home to ourselves and enjoy the fruit of that self-belonging. I love hearing from you and walking alongside you on your journey.

My free gift to you: ⁠3 steps to trust yourself⁠.

With a full heart,

Catherine

Description: ⚠️ Content Warning: This episode discusses psychological abuse and trauma. Please prioritize your safety. Crisis resources in description.

If you’ve escaped a narcissistic or abusive relationship but still hear your abuser’s voice saying “you’re worthless,” “you’re stupid,” or “you’ll never amount to anything”—you’re not going crazy. That voice has a name: the Inner Destroyer. Understanding why this happens is the first step to reclaiming your worth.

This episode provides trauma-informed approaches to healing from internalized abuse, breaking trauma bonds with your own self-attack patterns, and developing the tools to finally silence the voice that followed you home.

What you’ll learn: ✓ How the Inner Destroyer differs from regular self-criticism (it attacks core worth, not behavior) ✓ Why you may have developed a trauma bond with your own self-attack patterns ✓ The exact tactics abusers use that become internalized (gaslighting, character attacks, future threats) ✓ How to develop “observer consciousness” to separate from destructive thoughts ✓ 6 practical steps for dismantling the Inner Destroyer’s power ✓ Specialized healing approaches for narcissistic abuse recovery

This episode is essential for:

• Survivors of narcissistic, emotional, or psychological abuse

• Anyone whose inner critic sounds exactly like their abuser

• People who’ve left toxic relationships but the abuse continues internally

• Those struggling with self-worth after gaslighting and manipulation

• Anyone experiencing the “trauma bond” with their own self-criticism

Key insights:

• The Inner Destroyer uses your abuser’s exact voice, words, and timing

• Self-criticism can feel “safer” than self-compassion for abuse survivors

• Your adult self has resources your traumatized younger self didn’t have

• Recovery means learning to handle difficult thoughts without being controlled by them

• Specialized trauma therapy is often necessary for narcissistic abuse recovery

CRISIS RESOURCES:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233

• Crisis Text Line: HOME to 741741

• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988

• Additional resources for narcissistic abuse recovery linked below

Important note: This episode is educational and not a substitute for professional help. If you’re struggling with trauma from abuse, please consider working with a therapist trained in narcissistic abuse and trauma recovery.

Part of the Befriending Your Inner Critics series: This episode addresses trauma-specific inner critics that develop from external abuse. Unlike other critics that developed as protection, the Inner Destroyer requires specialized trauma-informed approaches.

Next week: From Religious Control to Self-Compassion - healing the Inner Controller when spiritual environments taught you not to trust your own heart, mind, and instincts.

Next steps: Befriend Your Inner Critic Course

Your worth was never up for debate. The voice telling you otherwise was wrong then and is wrong now. Recovery is possible, and thousands have walked this path to reclaim their lives.

Connect with Catherine: Website - Substack - YouTube

Hi, I’m Catherine. I’m grateful to share this time and space with you.

I’m a counselor living on the Emerald Coast of Florida, on the unceded land of the Muscogee. I am a creative, mystic, and neurodiverse adventurer. I love writing, creating, and connecting.

I love helping folx Befriend Your Inner Critic, Become Your Own Best Friend, and reclaim your untamed soul.

Thank you for being here in this sacred space we get to co-create, as we come home to ourselves and enjoy the fruit of that self-belonging. I love hearing from you and walking alongside you on your journey.

My free gift to you: ⁠3 steps to trust yourself⁠.

With a full heart,

Catherine

If you’re neurodivergent, highly sensitive, or creative, your inner critic probably attacks who you are, not just what you do. It whispers “you’re too much,” “you’re too weird,” or “you’ll never fit in.” This isn’t random self-doubt—it’s the Inner Underminer, carrying years of messages about being “different.”

This episode explores why sensitive, creative, and neurodivergent individuals develop particularly harsh internal voices, how masking trauma creates identity attacks, and practical steps to reclaim your authentic self-expression.

What you’ll learn: ✓ Why the Inner Underminer targets identity, not just behavior ✓ How “masking trauma” creates systematic self-attack patterns ✓ The 4 faces of the Underminer: Masking Perfectionist, Sensitivity Shamer, Creativity Crusher, Neurodivergent Comparer ✓ Why your “weaknesses” in traditional environments become strengths in the right contexts ✓ 5 practical steps for neurodivergent-affirming self-acceptance ✓ How to create environments that support rather than suppress your authentic traits

Perfect for:

• Neurodivergent individuals tired of hiding their natural traits

• Highly sensitive people told they’re “too emotional” or “too much”

• Creative minds whose ideas are dismissed as “weird” or “impractical”

• Anyone whose inner critic specifically attacks their identity and way of being

• People recovering from a lifetime of masking and conformity pressure

Key insights:

• Your Inner Underminer developed to protect you from rejection for being different

• Masking trauma is real psychological damage from suppressing authentic self-expression

• Your adult self has resources your criticized inner child never had

• Authenticity attracts authentic connection—the right people celebrate your differences

• Your sensitivity, creativity, and different processing are features, not bugs

Addresses different neurotypes:

• ADHD: Transforming “distractible” into “notice what others miss”

• Autism: Honoring attention to detail while managing perfectionist anxiety

• High Sensitivity: Using emotional intensity as strength for deep connection

• Creative minds: Celebrating unconventional thinking and multipassionate interests

This episode is part of our Befriending Your Inner Critics series: Episodes 1-2 covered foundational concepts and common critics Episode 4 focuses specifically on critics that develop around neurodivergent/sensitive identity Episodes 5-6 will cover trauma-based critics (abuse recovery, religious trauma)

Resources mentioned:

• Masking trauma research and recovery approaches

• Neurodivergent-affirming therapy resources

• Online communities for authentic neurodivergent expression

Next week: The Inner Destroyer - healing from internalized abuse when you’ve escaped toxic relationships but the abuser’s voice followed you home.

Next steps: Befriend Your Inner Critic Course

Remember: Your sensitivity, creativity, and different way of processing the world aren’t problems to fix—they’re gifts that make you uniquely valuable. Authenticity is a practice, not a destination.

Connect with Catherine: Website - Substack - YouTube

Hi, I’m Catherine. I’m grateful to share this time and space with you.

I’m a counselor living on the Emerald Coast of Florida, on the unceded land of the Muscogee. I am a creative, mystic, and neurodiverse adventurer. I love writing, creating, and connecting.

I love helping folx Befriend Your Inner Critic, Become Your Own Best Friend, and reclaim your untamed soul.

Thank you for being here in this sacred space we get to co-create, as we come home to ourselves and enjoy the fruit of that self-belonging. I love hearing from you and walking alongside you on your journey.

My free gift to you: ⁠3 steps to trust yourself⁠.

With a full heart,

Catherine

If you’re neurodivergent and traditional perfectionism advice like “just lower your standards” feels impossible, this episode explains why. Perfectionism works differently in ADHD, autistic, and other neurodivergent brains—and requires different solutions.

This episode explores the unique intersection of perfectionism and neurodivergence, how masking trauma creates impossible internal standards, and neuroaffirming approaches that actually work for different brain types.

What you’ll learn: ✓ Why neurodivergent perfectionism is often a survival mechanism, not just high standards ✓ How masking and perfectionism become dangerously intertwined ✓ The “Executive Function Paradox” - why perfectionist planning worsens ADHD symptoms ✓ How Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) fuels perfectionist protection strategies ✓ Why traditional advice fails neurodivergent minds and what works instead ✓ Neuroaffirming strategies that honor your brain’s natural patterns

Specifically addresses:

• ADHD: Energy-based planning vs perfectionist paralysis

• Autism: Natural attention to detail vs anxiety-driven perfectionism

• High Sensitivity: Using emotional intensity as strength, not weakness

• Gifted/2e: Separating identity from performance

Perfect for:

• Neurodivergent individuals whose perfectionism feels tied to survival

• People labeled “high-functioning” who are actually burning out from masking

• Anyone who experiences perfectionism as protection against being “found out”

• Those whose perfectionism creates more problems than it solves

Key research covered:

• Masking trauma and its relationship to perfectionist coping

• RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria) and perfectionism connections

• Executive function challenges that traditional advice ignores

• Neuroaffirming therapy approaches vs conformity-based treatments

Part of the Befriending Your Inner Critics series: This episode focuses specifically on how perfectionism manifests differently in neurodivergent minds and requires adapted approaches that honor rather than fight your natural neurological patterns.

Next steps: Befriend Your Inner Critic Course,

Become Your Own Best Friend (next rounds Jan/Mar 2026)

Connect with Catherine: Website - Substack - YouTube

Hi, I’m Catherine. I’m grateful to share this time and space with you.

I’m a counselor living on the Emerald Coast of Florida, on the unceded land of the Muscogee. I am a creative, mystic, and neurodiverse adventurer. I love writing, creating, and connecting.

I love helping folx Befriend Your Inner Critic, Become Your Own Best Friend, and reclaim your untamed soul.

Thank you for being here in this sacred space we get to co-create, as we come home to ourselves and enjoy the fruit of that self-belonging. I love hearing from you and walking alongside you on your journey.

My free gift to you: ⁠3 steps to trust yourself⁠.

With a full heart,

Catherine

Do you feel guilty when you rest? Does a relentless voice tell you “there’s always more you should be doing”? Meet your Inner Taskmaster—the critic that measures your worth by your productivity and keeps you trapped in the hustle culture hamster wheel.

This episode explores the most common inner critic many of us carry: the voice convinced your value equals your output. Learn why this protective part developed, how it’s actually sabotaging your effectiveness, and practical steps to transform it from a slave driver into a collaborative partner.

What you’ll learn:

✓ The difference between healthy motivation and your Inner Taskmaster’s demands

✓ Why ADHD brains are especially susceptible to productivity prison

✓ How the Taskmaster developed to protect you but became self-defeating

✓ The real costs of tying your worth to productivity (hint: it makes you LESS effective)

✓ A 4-step Internal Family Systems approach to befriending your Taskmaster

✓ What changes when you shift from “I HAVE TO” to “I CHOOSE TO”

Perfect for:

• People who can’t rest without guilt or anxiety about unfinished tasks

• Anyone caught in toxic productivity culture or hustle mentality

• ADHD individuals experiencing burnout from unrealistic productivity standards

• Those who lie awake at night with racing thoughts about tomorrow’s tasks

• People whose identity is tied to being “the responsible one”

Key insights:

• Your Inner Taskmaster isn’t lazy motivation—it’s fear-based protection

• Productivity actually DECLINES after 55 hours/week (Stanford research)

• Adults with ADHD experience significantly higher workplace burnout rates

• Rest isn’t laziness—it’s neurological maintenance your brain requires

This episode is part of our Befriending Your Inner Critics series: 

Episode 1: Why You Can't "Get Rid" of Your Inner Critic (foundation)

Episode 2: Inner Taskmaster (productivity trap) ← You are here

Episode 3: Inner Perfectionist (coming next week)

Next steps: Befriend Your Inner Critic Course

Remember: Your worth isn’t measured by your productivity. Freedom begins when you recognize the voice demanding endless output is fear trying to keep you safe in ways that no longer serve you.

Connect with Catherine: Website - Substack - YouTube

Hi, I’m Catherine. I’m grateful to share this time and space with you.

I’m a counselor living on the Emerald Coast of Florida, on the unceded land of the Muscogee. I am a creative, mystic, and neurodiverse adventurer. I love writing, creating, and connecting.

I love helping folx Befriend Your Inner Critic, Become Your Own Best Friend, and reclaim your untamed soul.

Thank you for being here in this sacred space we get to co-create, as we come home to ourselves and enjoy the fruit of that self-belonging. I love hearing from you and walking alongside you on your journey.

My free gift to you: ⁠3 steps to trust yourself⁠.

With a full heart,

Catherine

That harsh voice in your head isn't going anywhere—and that's actually not the problem. The real issue is trying to fight or eliminate your inner critic instead of understanding what it's trying to do for you.What you'll learn:✓ Why your inner critic exists (hint: it's trying to protect you)✓ practical steps to befriend rather than battle your internal voice✓ What changes when you stop fighting yourself and start working with your mindPerfect for:Anyone exhausted from battling their own thoughtsPeople who've tried positive thinking but still struggle with self-criticismThose ready to understand their mind instead of fighting itThe goal isn't to silence your inner critic—it's to help it evolve from harsh taskmaster into wise counselor. When you understand why that voice developed and what it's actually trying to accomplish, everything changes about how you relate to yourself.Your inner critic isn't your enemy—it just needs better training. Let's figure out how to work with your mind instead of against it.

Connect with Catherine: Website - Substack - YouTube

Hi, I’m Catherine. I’m grateful to share this time and space with you.

I’m a counselor living on the Emerald Coast of Florida, on the unceded land of the Muscogee. I am a creative, mystic, and neurodiverse adventurer. I love writing, creating, and connecting.

I love helping folx Befriend Your Inner Critic, Become Your Own Best Friend, and reclaim your untamed soul.

Thank you for being here in this sacred space we get to co-create, as we come home to ourselves and enjoy the fruit of that self-belonging. I love hearing from you and walking alongside you on your journey.

My free gift to you: ⁠3 steps to trust yourself⁠.

With a full heart,

Catherine

In this follow-up episode, Catherine Quiring continues her story—this time focusing on the turning points that led her back to herself. Through self-compassion, somatic healing, and IFS, she learned to listen inward with curiosity instead of shame.

Catherine invites us into the beauty of emotions as messengers, the wisdom of the body, and the medicine of Indigenous perspectives that remind us: everything is alive, everything is kin. This is a story of embracing parts once exiled, welcoming them home, and living an embodied life rooted in self-trust.

For anyone longing to feel whole again, this episode offers hope, resonance, and a gentle invitation: you, too, can come home to yourself.

Connect with Catherine: Website - Substack - YouTube - Coming Home

Hi, I’m Catherine. I’m grateful to share this time and space with you.

I’m a counselor living on the Emerald Coast of Florida, on the unceded land of the Muscogee. I am a creative, mystic, and neurodiverse adventurer. I love writing, creating, and connecting.

I love helping folx Befriend Your Inner Critic, Become Your Own Best Friend, and reclaim your untamed soul.

Thank you for being here in this sacred space we get to co-create, as we come home to ourselves and enjoy the fruit of that self-belonging. I love hearing from you and walking alongside you on your journey.

My free gift to you: ⁠3 steps to trust yourself⁠.

With a full heart,

Catherine

In this episode of Who We Are & What We Need, Catherine Quiring shares the raw and tender story of her early years—growing up within authoritarian Christianity and the pressures of ableist meritocracy. These systems taught her to silence her desires, distrust her emotions, and hollow herself out to fit expectations of holiness and success.

Through honest storytelling, Catherine explores how these environments shape our sense of self and leave us disconnected from our bodies, emotions, and inner knowing. This conversation is both deeply personal and universally resonant, offering language for the hidden wounds many carry.

If you’ve ever felt pressured to be “good,” “perfect,” or “productive” at the cost of your own humanity, this episode will remind you: you’re not alone.

Connect with Catherine: Website - Substack - YouTube - Coming Home

Hi, I’m Catherine. I’m grateful to share this time and space with you.

I’m a counselor living on the Emerald Coast of Florida, on the unceded land of the Muscogee. I am a creative, mystic, and neurodiverse adventurer. I love writing, creating, and connecting.

I love helping folx Befriend Your Inner Critic, Become Your Own Best Friend, and reclaim your untamed soul.

Thank you for being here in this sacred space we get to co-create, as we come home to ourselves and enjoy the fruit of that self-belonging. I love hearing from you and walking alongside you on your journey.

My free gift to you: ⁠3 steps to trust yourself⁠.

With a full heart,

Catherine