I was thinking this morning how a lot of the stuff that I've experienced inwardly in these other states of consciousness are are in the past they're no longer real and how I was thinking about it was in terms of how these past non-real elements these sort of visionary and experiential elements feel like invitations to have dialogue about something that's more meaningful not that any one of those experiences was it was the ultimate meaning but to me it just points towards the fact that the daily life that we've been programmed into isn't really what brings meaning into life it can for a period of time or it can provide some sense of meaning that may or may not be really real in that it might be pleasurable but not necessarily meaningful in a sustainable way and then oftentimes we are funneled back into living a life based on the programming of society which again isn't meaningful which then might lead to one going into one of these hyper meaningful states and it's not to say that that state is the way to be ultimately because it's very chaotic but i think the chaos is trying to break up that which is not meaningful and even though that state can be chaotic meaning in that a lot of the meanings don't necessarily make sense or are totally irrational or require reality testing in order to see whoa that has no truth even though it seemed meaningful it seemed like a meaningful perception and experience but again that invites us to be explorers of our own conscious process rather than machine like in our thought process so that process eliminates the machine-like process in consciousness at least temporarily and to me that is part of the meaning of it is not that any of the meanings were the ultimate meaning that we're seeking or trying to create but the fact that we can create other meanings and that we are the creators and the perceivers of meaning but usually we're caught in perception of that which is unreal which is the egos false structures and beliefs and then we go into this other state of consciousness which is seen as even more unreal by society but in my mind it's trying to allow that which is more real to come into existence or come back into existence which is our ability to learn see meanings and create meanings not just have very few meanings repeated over and over in our head based on our thought process and I've talked about before how going into these states and when it gets distressing to me feels like almost necessary in a way because it forces us to reconnect it's difficult to process that distress on one's own and one can go further and further down that road of distress in isolation which to me is that monologue process that that dr. Daniel Fisher talks about psychosis as a log and to me is just being so far into one's own meanings by oneself in isolation that one needs to come back to the fabric of reality and in doing so one can bring some of the meanings in dialogue not just the scary ones but the ones that one had before before the process got scary and the process got scary I feel like because one goes too far into that by oneself without having dialogue because there's safety in being connected to people so the further one's perceptions go away from being connected to people the scarier it gets but I also feel that part of the process is not just a dialogue a person who went into distress back into reality but to also start creating other meanings in the process of dialogue with the distressed person with some of the positive you know the supposedly positive meanings that one came across to dialogue together about because when one goes so far into that process of meaning making and it gets scary society then says well that means this person has a mental illness when a person can be talked back into some semblance of reality but also start to have dialogue about what those processes and experiences meant and not just that but the process of meaning making itself so it's not just about oh I had this expe