This week my mother and I made the difficult decision that I would not fly to visit her for Christmas. I haven’t seen Mom since March. I bought my tickets for this two-week visit back in September. And with every day that brought my visit closer we talked more excitedly about how we would spend our time together. Since Thanksgiving, Mom has been counting the days until my arrival.

We cried on the day that we finalized the decision and we’ve cried a few times since. Tears are always at the ready if we mention anything about Christmas, so we try not to. Because Mom is ninety-three, we hope she will be one of the first people to receive a vaccination. Then I will be able to see her, hopefully as soon as March.

Although I know the months will fly by between now and then and although the darkness before the dawn is just a thin veil, our despair is palpable.

#christmas #advent #walkingoutfaith