From Destruction to Healing
I was a little afraid of Cynthia Miller when I first met her. Her story was a little too weird for this small town Southern boy.
Her “Kundalini Awakening” caused a radical shift in her perception, giving her the ability to “see though people” and to perceive their inner energy vibrations.
I thought, “This can’t be real.”
But after getting to know her, I soon realized that not only is she the real deal, she is one of the most generous, warm, and amazing people I’ve ever met.
Her story is one of the most fascinating I’ve ever heard.
Her childhood exposure to weapons-grade plutonium has brought her intense, life-long pain, but she’s overcoming that with even greater powers.
And the best news of all is that we too can benefit from what’s she’s learned.
In the true spirit of the Hero’s Journey, she’s bravely fought the demons of the H-Bomb; the greatest pain and destruction the world has ever known.
And she’s coming back as a Guide to show us a way through.
Read The Stories And See For Yourself
Check out Cynthia Miller’s Books to get the full vivid descriptions of her life and how the healing works.
The Art of Radical Gratitude: Your Guide to Love, Joy, and Abundance “Based on quantum physics, 35 years of clinical practice working with thousands of people, and a gut-wrenching personal experience.””
Unseen Connections, A Memoir from Pain to Joy
“The conflict between pain, multidimensional bliss, and hidden seeing led to an astonishing breakthrough, a model for us to evolve into a new reality based on love, generosity, and gratitude.””
“A synthesis of forty years of clinical practice, provides an internal map and guideposts to discover how to rewire your brain and nervous system, and reprogram your thought patterns.”
The greatest secret in life is uncovering the truth of who you are. Gain the liberation to be in your authority, pleasure, and love. – Dr Cynthia Miller
Work with Cynthia
Check out her offerings called Soul Circuitry at her website.
Three Ways to Experience This Interview with Cynthia Miller
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Episode Transcript
Hey folks, it’s David Bourne. Welcome to The David Bourne show. In this episode, I am super excited about it is with my friend, Dr. Cynthia Miller.
Her father was one of the builders of the first atomic bombs, including the two bombs that were dropped on Japan at the end of World War Two.
Cynthia has lived an amazing life. But because of the close proximity to this massive destruction of atomic weapons, she suffered with debilitating pain her whole life. But amazingly, she’s found ways to overcome that pain.
She has been practicing in clinical practice for 35 years working with 1000s of people. And what she does is she helps with her unique blend of cellular science, psychology and quantum physics, but in particular, just how she has overcome this pain with love, generosity, and gratitude.
So hope you will enjoy this episode where we talk mostly about her memoir that I witnessed her writing. It’s called unseen connections a memoir, from pain to joy. You can also see other books she’s written at her website, Dr. Cynthia miller.com.
Her latest is called the inner revolution, uncover the magic and delight of embodying your soul essence. And also we talk about a book she wrote earlier called The Art of radical gratitude, your guide to love joy, and abundance. So hope you enjoy this episode, I sure did enjoy my conversation with Dr. Cynthia Miller.
Interview Start
Well, I’m here today with Dr. Cynthia Miller, who I have known for few years. And it’s it’s been months and months, it’s probably been a year or more that I’ve wanted to interview, Cynthia Miller. So I am very excited to have you here today, Cynthia to hear about your life and your books, particularly your memoir that I know you’re rewriting. And so I’ll just say I’m very grateful to be here with you.
I can say the same. I’m really excited to be here with you.
Good gratitude is a big part of your life. It is. And so I thought starting with gratitude would be appropriate. Perfect. So before we say who you are, and what is what makes you who you are. I want to talk about a point in your in your memoir, which is unseen connections from pain and violence to joy.
There’s a chapter that well, there’s a section where you have you’ve come out of the woods. You’re a big nature lover in just so many ways, and I want to talk about that too. You’ve come out of living in the woods, I believe and there’s been a either a financial crisis or someone has stolen all your money and you’re at your wit’s end. Do you know what story I’m talking about?
And, and gratitude. Saves you can you tell us that story? Yeah. How did you get to that spot?
Yeah, well, I had just, I had sold my house and I put everything in storage. And I was traveling and I was on a little vacation up in the woods up in the mountains because I love being in the mountains. And I put every all the money, everything in the stock market I’ve been researching for years and I thought I did all the right things. I read all the books and so I thought I was doing okay, and then I came out of the woods.
And I discovered that everything I had in the stock market was completely gone was that stock market scam. And then a few days later, I discovered that everything I had in storage had been stolen. And the storage company went was filing bankruptcy. So it’s like my whole life had just ended. And I was in massive pain and I didn’t know what to do. I was in the place where I knew no one
I just felt really lost. Why were you in massive pain. While
I had been in pain my whole life I had lots of radiation in my body from my dad’s work. And it was kind of like this electroshock in the back of my neck. That was constantly going. And I was 60 years old.
And at that point, it was like, I want to be done. I want to be done with pain, I have nothing to live for, I have no way to survive. So on the day, I was going to end my life. This energy or this, these words, from my guts came up and said, choose gratitude. going, What on earth do I have to be grateful for? Was my response.
And so there is this big inner battle between Choosing Gratitude and being done with everything. And finally, I had said, Okay, I’ll give gratitude a shot. I can always kill myself later. That was my out. And so I made a very deep commitment to Choosing Gratitude no matter what, and it seemed absolutely insane at times.
Because my mind would go, how on earth can I be grateful for whatever it is? And I said, Well, we’re just going to do this. That’s, that’s the deal I made with myself. To choose gratitude, to choose gratitude no matter what. Yeah, but
give us an example of what what do you mean? What would what would an example of you Choosing Gratitude mean?
Okay, so at one point, this was like, nine months later, I’d finally gotten back on my feet, and I was, but everything was stolen. And here I am moving into my first little apartment. And I have this garage sale fork. And I’d had this beautiful silver. And I was really pissed that I had this horrible garage sale fork, it’s all I could afford. I said, I’m thankful for this fork, and I felt nothing. I wouldn’t thank you for my fork.
And then my whole body started shifting, everything started relaxing. And I went thank you for my fork. And then a few minutes later, I realized I had this awakening, oh, the silver was all filled with radiation. It had been my parents, and it’d been our parents home. And then I inherited it. And so every time I was eating, I was stuffing radiation into my mouth.
And so I went, thank you for stealing my fork. Wow, it was like this complete turnaround. And then a few minutes later, I was like, Oh, my goodness, but someone else is. Whoever took it as eating this radiation filled fork. And I was kind of like, oh, I don’t want them to be suffering. So sending gratitude to them. And energy to them. And so it was like, I never assumed I would want to be sending gratitude or good wishes to someone who’d stolen my things.
Yeah, wow. That’s a big shift.
Yeah. And so that just kept happening. As I sent gratitude to the pain in my neck. It started shifting. And I can see what’s going on in my cells in my body. And so I would thank it, and I could watch how the gratitude was moving in my body. And I could see the neurology change. And so I kept going and thanking this pain in my neck that I’d had for 60 years and started dissolving.
So just becoming less painful.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And so it took time. It wasn’t fast. It wasn’t like a five minute process, but it had been going on for my whole life. So I just kept thanking and thanking the radiation, which I never would have assumed I could even possibly do. So then I started seeing that all the low frequencies can’t exist in a higher frequency of gratitude. So whatever the fear is, that was arising, I would think that and the fear would just dissolve because it’s a low Little low frequency.
And so then as I kept getting deeper and deeper into gratitude, it was profound what I was discovering. But it’s the gratitude spirals. It’s like it’s going in in a spiral movement. And I realized everything in nature is spiraling. And all the atoms are moving. And if you look at photos of the galaxies, they’re spiraling. And so it’s like, oh, and I was seeing the gratitude spiral through micelles.
Though, it’s more than just writing down, I’m thankful for today, or whatever that might be, but really going in and thanking all the things that are absolutely horrific. And they start to shift.
So this pain that you had for 60 years, you just talked about radiation, and then the fork and I’ve read your book twice now, so I know what you’re talking about. But to someone who doesn’t know what you’re talking about, explain how radiation became a part of your, your life.
Yeah. Well, before I was conceived, my dad built Hanford, the world’s first plutonium plant. And then he transferred that plutonium to Los Alamos to build Trinity the first bomb. So I was conceived with sperm that were covered with rady aviation, in terms of the DNA.
And then as a child, when I was four, my dad left for 13 months to go build the first hydrogen, the first hydrogen bomb, and he came home. And the first night at dinner. I was really sensitive as a kid, I could see this bomb exploding in the middle of the dining room table. So I could see the radiation falling, and getting in the water, getting in the soil and getting in the leaves of the plant.
And I couldn’t figure out how to get it out. So at dinner, I asked him, and I was five. And so I didn’t have the words of vocabulary. So I just said, I was going to clean up the mess. How do we, how do we clean this up? And he got really angry, and he stood up, and he pointed at me, and he sent me to my room. So the only time in my life I was sent to my room.
And so I’m hiding in the corner, just kind of rocking back and forth going off. I shouldn’t have spoken out. And I’m just a girl, so I have no value. And I want to discover why people hate and kill each other. What is this? That makes people want to do this? So that kind of started the whole path of my life.
Wow. So your dad built? Pipe, the hydrogen bombs that later?
Yeah. Yeah. And then he was in charge of all the bombs, the United States built until there was a moratorium on testing nuclear weapons. So Sousa, my whole childhood, he would come home with more radiation, he’d be gone for months. He’d watched the bombs explode, and then he’d come home.
And so it’s a frequency that was in his body that carries out, and, you know, got into the silverware got into our bodies, it was everything in the environment. So a good way to think about that is maybe you walk into a room and someone’s had a fight, and you can just feel the energy. It’s like really tense. Yeah, let’s kind of like that. On a much greater scale. Yeah. Frequency. Yeah.
Yeah. You mentioned the frequency. We were talking about the frequencies of fear being low. Yeah. And so is is this radiation you’re talking about? Would you put that as a low frequency? It
is a very low frequency. Okay. Okay. Yeah. The, the purpose of the bombs is to kill and destroy and annihilate whole populations of people. Yeah. So that’s what the frequency of it it’s such a very low frequency.
then you bring in the High Frequency of gratitude or love, and that low frequency can’t exist, it can’t survive in that higher frequency.
Aha. Wow. Okay, so you and I’ve talked before about how I think that your life is amazing, but I’ve used the word weird. And I don’t mean that in a negative way, but common from my perspective of small town, southeastern United States.
You know, I’m 55 years old. And so, I grew up in a time where there was a lot of fear of, of nuclear war, you know, Russia and the United States were very much at odds throughout my entire young childhood. But yeah, you know, a lot of the a lot of that. And you have your PhD and in this right, and this type of study, it’s,
it’s in cellular transformation. Okay, though, it’s a combination of quantum physics, biology, psychology, it’s in the field of psychology, but it’s a lot of different fields brought together.
Yeah. Yeah. So your dad was a physicist?
No, he was duction. engineer.
He was a construction engineer. Okay. So he took the,
the scratchboard. of, you know, Einstein and open Heimer. And all the great scientists, he took all of that and transformed it into an actual physical bomb. So they just did the one that helped design the specifications of what needed, though, where and how it all needed to fit together for it to work. Gotcha.
Yeah. So he was an engineer. Yeah. Yeah. And you mentioned earlier when you we when you talked about you being by five years old at that table, and you went into your room. And you you. You were huddled up and scared. You mentioned that you were not important because you’re a girl. Yeah. Can you talk about that?
Yeah. Well, this was the 50s. And women were supposed to be housewives at home. We weren’t, you know, you weren’t supposed to think. Whenever I had a question about anything. My mother’s response was just don’t think about it. My whole childhood, same response.
Don’t think about it. Yeah, I’m, we were just to be the ones that took care of the man and make sure the man lived his dreams. So my mother didn’t have the opportunity to live her dreams. She wanted to be a fashion designer. But she was stuck taking care of two kids. Her husband was off running around the world building bombs. She was not a happy camper. But she had she, it was like she had no choice back then. And I know other women who had choices. But in our reality, there was no choice.
Yeah. So you grew up? Not believing you would be a PhD? Or? No,
no, my whole upbringing was learning how to to take care of a man who’d be a good housewife. I was sent to college to find a eligible has been
When I graduated, my parents didn’t even know what my PH what my degree was in college. Just, you know, my bachelor’s degree. They didn’t have a clue. It was only my mom’s saying, Well, did you find a husband? Yeah.
Right. She wanted you to get your Mrs. Exactly. Yeah, yeah. Well, I know that. Wow. So we were talking about gratitude, and how that transformed and you talked about energy and it’s transformed. It’s transformed in This pain that you talked about being at the back of your neck. Having read your memoir, which is just fascinating and cool and unbelievable, literally, like I read, I reread. I’m like, I can’t believe this, like, this is so amazing.
But I know you to give some background to the listeners or watchers. I’ve known you since 2020. And I’ve read your work almost every day. Because you you write a lot. And we’ve been in a writing group, it started out with a Seth Godin writing group. And it was I believe, the spring of 2020. Maybe it was a summer by the time I first I think the first exposure to your work, were some images, I believe of you riding a camel. Was that in the 50s? Or early 60s? Maybe?
Oh, I was surrounded by camels in India. Okay, so you spent that would have been 1964.
Okay, you lived abroad in your in your different times in your youth. And you’re writing your memoir, this memoir. And I’m reading it, and I’m just thinking, Who is this person? And I was intrigued.
And then you know, a lot of the I’m kind of woowoo averse. Now I’m a life coach. Now, with Martha Beck, we call ourselves wife Wayfinders. And we’re very woowoo. The group is very woowoo. And what I mean by woowoo I mean, you know, New Age ish, different understanding of the universe. That’s, that’s not you know, I was raised in the Christian church. And so I have a Judeo Christian background of understanding mixed in with science. And what are we supposed to believe we’re supposed to believe both. And then as a child, I guess in the 70s, I started here and about different ideas.
And I got interested in Carl Jung and Joseph Campbell and mythology. So. And of course, if you read the Bible, there’s a lot of woowoo weird stuff in there, but you kind of hold it at an arm’s distance. And you say to yourself, probably subconsciously, well, yeah, that may be happened, but it really doesn’t happen anymore.
But then I read your book, and there’s all this crazy stuff that you’ve been through. Yeah. And a lot of it has to do with you dealing with this pain that you’ve, it seems to come and go, but so tell me about just what it was like to grow up and move through your life with this, this pain? And
Wow. I remember when I was about 2425. I always had pain and I there was this whole. All these magazines had articles about hypoglycemia, and I started reading them. And I had every symptom that was listed in every article. And so I wanted to go to the doctor and get the test. And the doctors back then said, Oh, no, you couldn’t possibly know what’s going on. You’re a woman. And it was like, Okay, so my husband talked to the doctor. And the doctor said, Well, we’re gonna give you this test for your husband’s peace of mind.
I had this eight hour glucose tolerance test. I passed out three times in the hospital, they gave it to me. They got the test results. I had the worst case the hospital had ever seen. So I got off all sugar, alcohol, and caffeine. So that was 51 years ago. So and I had never heard of a healing crisis or anything like that.
So for the first couple of weeks, it was just awful. I had this. It was like my hair was grease and all this. I just my body just wreaked. It was horrible. But after three weeks I From the detox of the from the
been on sugar my whole life. And so then, after three weeks, I had like half an hour and I didn’t have a headache. i It was found, I cried for every single person I knew and said, Do you have a headache? And they go, Well, no. And then I call the next person, I go, do you have a headache? And they go, no. And I went to work.
And I said, Do you have a headache? And it never occurred to me that people didn’t have headaches all the time, because I had always had a headache. And so at that moment, I went, what else? What other things do I not know about? Because I’ve lived in this reality of always having a headache. So then there were lots of layers of other pain, but the headache was the first one of going, Wow, this is incredible. So at first, I wanted to be normal.
And I thought, No, I don’t want to be normal. I want to be the best that I can be whatever that is. So that was kind of the beginning of this part of my journey. Yeah.
So one of the, one of the treatments that I remember you having was it? I don’t know if it was before this point or after but I remember you went to see a Chinese doctor or maybe in San Francisco.
Okay, yeah. Who was on your spine? Yeah. So I went to an acupuncturist in Oakland, California. And this was before mainstream American knew about acupuncture. Yeah, okay. 1972. Okay. So for someone to practice acupuncture in the States, then they have to be a medical doctor, and an acupuncturist.
So I went to this Chinese doctor, and I was the youngest person, their buddy else was way older, and they’ve been tried everything possible. Yeah. So I went, and he only gave me a few needles the first time and he said, You’re really sensitive. And I thought, okay, I only have to have a few. And that’s fine. I went back and I was going to him for my migraine headaches. This was a different headache from a hypoglycemic headache. So then, at one point, he put needles up my back, and I started feeling very strange. And so he took the needles out immediately.
And I went home, and I just knew something was really off. I didn’t know what was going on. But I made my husband promise me, he wouldn’t take me to the emergency room. Because I knew American doctors didn’t know anything about acupuncture. And I saw, I didn’t feel like it would work, I was very clear. I did not want to go to the emergency room. So I just kept feeling worse and worse. And then I went into a coma. And then I had a near death experience.
And so I’m going down this incredible tunnel of light. And I get to this space of light and, and it was almost like there was this invisible line that I couldn’t cross over. And I really wanted to cross over this line. Because it was just incredible. And there was this beautiful angelic music. And it was just it felt like home. Like, I just wanted to stay. And I was told very clearly that I couldn’t, I had to go back to Earth.
And I didn’t want to but they made me and they told me to turn around and I turned around, I could see my body. It was kind of like I was half dissolved into the bed. And I could see my husband there. And I could feel as like he had these strings of love pulling me back into my body. Though I came back and in the morning, I woke up and I could hear him on the phone saying she’s alive. She’s alive. She’s not coming to work today, but she’s alive. Wow. So yeah.
So what was it like after that? anything changed?
Well, two days later, I’m sitting on the couch kind of recovering from the near death experience. And this bolt of energy, goes up my spine and shoots out the top of my head. And I looked down, and I can see inside the cells in my arm, and my husband standing there, and I look up at him. And I can see inside his body, and I look out the window and all the trees have all these auras and colors around them. And that was profound. Yeah,
Yeah, so I thought it would go away. In a day or so. Yeah, I had no idea what was going on. I’d walked down the street, and I could see inside people’s bodies walking down the street, it was really hard. I’d walk into library and all the thought forms from the books would kind of it was kind of like this avalanche of thought forms and I pass out, I’d pass out in record stores, I could hear all the music that had been played.
It’s like, all the music would come in on different dimensions and hit my nervous system and I pass out on the floor. I pass out in the grocery store, when I especially the cereal aisle, where you go down and all the average subliminal advertising on the cereal boxes. It’s like I can hear it screaming at me. And then I pass out in the middle of the grocery store. So it’s very, very difficult. And four years later, I friend said, every time I read this book, I think of it. So I bought the book and it was called Kundalini. By Gopi, Krishna and I realized I’d had a spontaneous kundalini awakening. And that’s what totally rewired my brain in that split second. When usually, you have to meditate for years and kind of be on this path to awaken the Kundalini. Well, mind just did it. After the after the acupuncture treatment, so who knows? But it was challenging to be in the world at that point.
Yeah. And so how did you come out of that? You said it had been four years where you learned Oh, this exists in the world somewhere.
Yeah, so what I what I ended up doing was I became one of the first female whitewater river guides.
Okay, that’s not that’s a that’s a whole nother. Okay. Not expecting but go. Oh,
okay. Okay. Yeah, I had, I had to get away from civilization. I see. I had to get away from all the input of all the energies in the stores all the chaos in the streets. I had to escape into the quiet of nature to heal my body.
I can’t remember 30s at this point. Yeah.
So that I came out. I was whitewater river guide for five years, and then I came out. And that’s when. So that’s when I discovered it was a spontaneous kundalini awakening. So I guess it was five years. I
see. Yeah. So you, you were having these, and you’re passing out? Sounds like left and right. And that’s when you realize you needed to get away from the stimulus of
Yeah, it wasn’t like that logical, though.
Sure. Well, yeah. A lot. A lot of not logical in that story. My whole life.
Yeah, yeah. We’re thinking in a travel agency and I had the opportunity to be the, the assistant leader on the first Mount Everest cleanup track. Ah, I went to Nepal. And this was in 1976. And so, hiking in the high Himalayas in 76. There was no outside stimulation of electronics or a anything like that, you know, I was just tracking every day up in the high mountains. And as I was doing that, I kept thinking about wanting to be a whitewater river guide. So I, because a friend had taken me on a trip and I really liked it. Ah, okay. Yeah. So I was in Nepal for three months. And I came back to Berkeley and it was just frantic. And I was just like, I can’t, I can’t do this. So then I went, and I knew the owner of a whitewater river company. And he thought before I’d been a bookkeeper at a travel agency, and so he thought I’d make a good bookkeeper, but I refuse to be inside and I worked for free for months, fixing boats. You know, doing all that kind of stuff. And then I learned how to roll a boat.
Well, I know for your from your book, that was not, that was not an easy experience. And yeah, I know that the guys on the crew were not expecting or maybe wanting a woman. Yeah. river guide.
Yeah, there were 40 Guys in me. Wow. Yeah. It was like having to break through into this male dominated world. And after, you know, after a while, it became absolutely magical. That’s incredible. But it took a while to break through. To be accepted. Yeah.
Wow. This was in California. Did you say?
Yeah, yeah, that’s how I started. Yeah.
Well, that was I started on the Stanislaus River. Okay, but then I, that first summer, at the end of the year, I rode the Grand Canyon. So I rode all the Big Rapids, all the big rivers in the United States. And Alaska. Wow. Really big ones there, too. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, that
was very exciting. I bet. I bet. Yeah. That then this was in the in the mid to late 70s. That you were doing this? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that’s, of course, that’s big now and well established. But back then I imagine it wasn’t all that common. Or?
Yeah. Yeah. In Alaska. I was part of the first exploratory river trip on the Copper River. So, you know, we were just venturing out into new territory.
Wow. That must have been amazing. Just would you be out there for for, I guess, weeks, these trips would take. They would take Oh, yeah.
Yeah. My first trip down the Grand Canyon was 23 days, which is really rare.
So in sometimes, some of the trips were only five or six days, but we were on the river the whole time. And then we’d have a layover day where we’d go to town and buy food, but we still slept on the river the whole time. Hmm. So I was really on the river for six or eight months at a time.
Yeah. Wow. So the pain that that you had, you had this, you had this procedure in Berkeley with the doctor putting needles in your spine, and that calls this Kundalini awakening, which, you know, the closest thing that my mind can, can come to, yeah, I know a little bit about left brain right brain. And a lot of the weird stuff happens on the right side of the brain, is that correct? Something you know, even though other people in the world may have had this, this this really odd thing where you said you could see, you know, you hear about auras and people taking mushrooms or LSD. I’ve never done any of that stuff. But it sounds your perception is totally shifted. So what I heard you say It was going into nature away from that stimuli did. Were you still? Pat, were you still like this?
Yeah, you still like this now?
Yeah. Really gone ever. It’s never gone away? Wow. Yeah, I’ve learned to shut some of it off. Okay, so I’ve learned to shut it down. And I only open it up when I’m working with a client and a session. Ah, that’s how it is. For a long time, I could just see everything and it’s like, it’s none of my business. I don’t want to know. I don’t know, you know? So I really, I don’t know how I shut it down. But I just kept asking to shut it down. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. But
okay, well, that’s a great segue into your work.
Yeah, so. So when I have I’m doing a session, so I have that person’s permission, obviously, you know, and we’ve set up and, and the person has an intention of what they want to work on. So then we get into a relaxed state. And I can start seeing all these different dimensions, which is what opened up during the Kundalini awakening is, so I see multiple dimensions. And I see what’s going on in the DNA, and what’s happening in the neural programming. And so then we go in and start working on shifting what’s happening.
And how does it shift with gratitude?
When we, as part of it, yeah, it’s one of my main things is gratitude. Wow,
that energy. Yeah. So if someone comes to you, and they’re troubled, yeah. Is it a low energy that they’re having or dealing with? You spoke of the radiation being
usually it’s complex. Sure. My first clients were sexually abused women. They just flocked to me. I was the only female PhD in town I was in at the time. And so they all just came. It wasn’t like I was advertising. That’s what I was doing. But and so it was profound to go in and see what was happening and start to shift all that goes on from sexual abuse. It takes a tremendous toll on a woman’s body.
That stays with her a man. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. So yeah. Then I moved away from that. And so it’s changed over the years. I’ve been doing this work for about 40 years now. So it shifted dramatically. What’s happening and and I’ve gotten better, and it’s like humanity is at a point where the clients I work with psych, the healings taking place much more quickly than it did 40 years ago. It’s really profound. Very exciting. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So now it’s more like programs and patterning was from trauma from your childhood, that are influencing every aspect of a person’s life. And so as that shifts, their whole life changes. So it’s really gratifying to help people. And most of these programs are in the unconscious. So we know something’s going on. But we can’t put our finger on it. We can’t see it. So I help people to see it. Okay.
Yeah. You said it’s complex. So I imagine the answer is complex, but you see it somehow. With this way of selling the well the unconscious
is just the demand. So just going into that dimension. Okay, seeing what’s happening there. I became really clear about this. When COVID hit. When COVID first hit. I was on the couch for days and I couldn’t figure out what was going on. And then I was like I was This blanket of fear kept me from moving. And I kept looking at it and going, This isn’t my fear. This is the collective conscious fear, this global fear of COVID just kept me immobilized for days that I went, Oh, you know, I don’t want to be immobilized. And it felt like I wasn’t supposed to create boundaries, around not taking on this global fear, but I created all these boundaries inside my body, and that’s when I started writing the memoir. And that’s when I started working on this map I’ve been creating on the multiple dimensions and what’s happening on each dimension. So in this collective unconscious, we can create boundaries in our bodies. So we aren’t so overwhelmed by global events. And if we aren’t overwhelmed, then we can create new ways of being in the world that are beyond all the fear and the war. So but at first, we have to separate ourselves from it. With a boundary conscious, yeah, in the unconscious, because it’s all kind of this huge, murky pile of low frequency energies. And they’ve been growing since the beginning of humanity, and it just keeps getting worse.
And so as we clear that out of our bodies, that our brains can function at a better higher level, and we can see new possibilities of creating hope and creating a new reality for ourselves and for the whole world.
Wow. So you were born in a household with by a father who built bombs, hydrogen bombs, you are affected with this. You lived in great pain you dealt with you were devalued as a as a female in our culture. told that you in by your mother, it sounds like and your father. But the culture of course, as well, when we’re trying to change some of that. I’ve got a long way to go. I’ve got two girls, so I’m all on board for changing that. And they are two. Yeah. One of them has a little keychain from Taylor Swift that says, f the patriarchy. I’m like, Okay, I’m your father. I know you don’t mean, f your father. But I know what you’re saying here. Yeah, and I’m on board that with that. But I’m definitely on board, you know, bringing more peace, and well being and love and healing. And so, you know, and I feel again, very grateful that I have been apart, or at least witness and a small part of your journey. Because I remember periods where you had disappear. Yeah. And we were all sort of like, well, where’s Cynthia? But then you’d come back and you’d have a story to tell about some dimension or some new insight. And I think that happened a little bit when the Oppenheimer did it. Not a few months ago. Yeah. Something like that happened. Can you share a little bit about that?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. When I saw that movie, it kind of made. I see those kinds of movies and my life makes more sense. Because my dad had these private classes with open Hymer at UCLA, there were a couple other men and my dad and that’s When open Heimer was transferring all the information from all the physicists at Los Alamos of how to build a bomb. And so that’s was my very early childhood. And then my dad went off, and he was part of the Manhattan. We lived in Southern California, but he would fly to the Manhattan Project. And then he would fly to Hanford. So he was, and then he’d fly to Washington, DC. And that was his little trip. And then he’d go to Oak Ridge, Tennessee, where they’re doing the uranium for the bombs. Forgotten what I was gonna say. So, so he was a part of building the first bomb. And then he was a part of trance, transferring the bombs to go to Japan. He was once he told me the story that he was on the train, sitting right next to the bomb. There are two bombs that went to Japan when. And he was sitting next to one of them. And it was covered with this canvas. And it was going over a bridge, and the canvas started ripping. And so we had to have the train. It had an engine on both ends. And so the engine took the train off the bridge, and he had to reek have the he designed how to reconstruct the bridge, so the bomb could go across. Wow. So and then after that my whole childhood he felt bombs, but it seems like you’re asking something else.
Well, we’re talking about Oppenheimer. Right, and how you kind of disappeared for a while? Yeah, I did. And I wonder where Cynthia, something’s something’s going on. And she’s dealing with it. Yeah, should be back. Yeah.
So what was happening was, I have layers of radiation in my body. And so that triggered the next layer of the radiation in my body releasing. And so when that happens, I throw up I get diarrhea, I get pretty sick. And that was going on during that whole time. And part of it was just as I was talking earlier about the mass consciousness of people were watching that movie. And so a lot of all that consciousness came up and got triggered in me. So it’s getting released. So I went and hid for a while.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, I’m always glad when you come back. Thank you. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. It has struck me that your story is one of the most unusual, and, and though I may call it weird, it’s fascinating. But what strikes me is just how just generous and
wonderful you are to be around.
And when I say that, I mean, with the writing, you know, you’ll write something and some of us will respond. And you’re just always so thoughtful. And
you know, I’ve always you’ve just very warm. You’re one of the warmest people I’ve ever met, I think, which is extraordinary given the circumstances that you were brought up in. And, you know, we didn’t talk about it, but your mom had a furious alcohol problem. And you basically suffered from neglect. You were passing out as a child, right with this probably hypo glycemia. And your dad was off. building bombs, and it’s just I just thought, Oh, my God, this woman has lived an amazing life. And I just want more people to know about you. And the work you’re doing.
Thank you. Thank you. I really appreciate that so much.
Yeah. So I know you’re, you’re told me that this this memoir that I saw you write came out. But then the Oppenheimer came out and you and you realized you wanted to rewrite it. So is that what you’re doing now? Yeah,
I’m Working on it, it seems to be coming along very slowly. There are some things in it that I wanted to include, that were triggered by them watching the movie that people can hear now, before, there wasn’t kind of that consciousness for that. And the, the ending of, of the of my first memoir, a lot of people said this rather unclear. And so I’m rewriting the ending, okay. And I’m kind of tying in my life together in a new way. So people can are, so I can grasp it better. And so my reader can grasp it better, because my life is really, really weird. There’s no doubt about it. And I have trouble getting it, and I’ve lived it. So I can’t imagine how hard it would be just reading about it. So I’m trying to kind of bring it together at the end and a new way. Yeah, that’s what I’m doing.
Well, it’s amazing as is, and I encourage people to go and get it. It’s, it’s called unseen connections from pain and violence to joy, a memoir by Dr. Cynthia Miller. It’s just one of many books you’ve written. You wrote about? One called Radical gratitude, I believe. Is that right? Yeah. Is that the right title? Yeah,
the art of radical gratitude, the
art of radical gratitude. And
yeah, they’re all on my website. So and what is your website? It’s Dr. Cynthia miller.com. Dr. Cynthia
miller.com with a Y. Cynthia spelled CYNT, HIA. Miller. Wow, where I could go for on and on and on, because there’s so many stories that I want to hear about more, maybe I’ll have you back sometime. We’ll do that. But I just want to thank you again, and show my gratitude for your time today. But just for for doing this work.
Oh, thank you. Thank you. And I just am so grateful for you. And all the help you gave me all those years writing my book with your great feedback and comments. I would write something and go, this is okay to say this. And you would say oh, yes, I want more. And it was just so encouraging. So thank you. Thank you for having me on your podcast video, and I really appreciate having you in my life. Thank you.
Well, you’re welcome. And I just look forward to seeing what’s next. Thank you. Yeah. Well, until next time, then,
and how next time thank you so much.
