Look, I sat down to check the news and immediately got hit with a wall of madness: conspiracies, celebrity meltdowns, earthquakes, blue aliens I don’t trust, and weed so strong it’ll make you scream louder than a TikTok mom in a hospital gown. And somehow—somehow—we end the whole thing debating Al Gore’s weather prophecies, Trump’s psychological profile, and why the government wants me to subscribe to 47 different news apps just to learn that Oreos are apparently trying to assassinate us.

It’s chaos. It’s America. It’s my show.

Come hang out while I stumble through the headlines like a man trying to read Vanity Fair with a nicotine patch falling off his neck, rant about medical marijuana turning people into human lava lamps, defend the honor of 1999 ditch weed, and try to understand why God loves me enough to let me survive another news cycle.

A full ride through political weirdness, cultural nonsense, scientific panic, and that one trucker who told me to move my fat ass.

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