In Part 2 of our conversation with grief coach, author, and podcaster Shelby Forsythia, we dive deeper into her brand-new book, Of Course I'm Here Right Now.

Most of us want to help when someone we love is grieving. The problem is that we've never been taught how. Instead, we fall back on clichés, platitudes, and well-meaning advice that often leaves grieving people feeling even more isolated.

Shelby argues that what grieving people need most isn't fixing, solving, or explaining. They need presence.

In this episode, we explore why grief makes people uncomfortable, how our culture's lack of grief literacy creates secondary losses, and the surprisingly simple phrases that can help someone feel seen and supported during life's hardest moments.

Whether you've experienced profound loss yourself or want to be a better support for someone who has, this conversation offers practical wisdom, compassion, and a fresh way of understanding grief.

In This Episode

• Why grief isn't a problem to solve
• The hidden ways people become isolated after loss
• What NOT to say to someone who is grieving
• Why "at least..." statements often do more harm than good
• The difference between helping and fixing
• How grief changes friendships and relationships
• The role of presence versus advice
• The importance of grief literacy in modern culture
• Practical phrases anyone can use to support a grieving friend
• What inspired Shelby to write Of Course I'm Here Right Now
• Why grief can become one of life's greatest teachers

About Shelby Forsythia

Shelby Forsythia is a grief coach, author, podcast host, and founder of Life After Loss Academy. After losing her mother at a young age, she became what she calls a "student of grief," dedicating her work to helping people navigate life after devastating loss. She is the author of Permission to Grieve, Your Grief, Your Way, and her newest book, Of Course I'm Here Right Now: Three Actually Helpful Things to Say to Someone Grieving.

Connect with Shelby

• Website: Shelby Forsythia Official Website
• Book: Of Course I'm Here Right Now
• Podcast: Coming Back Podcast Archive

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What happens when grief changes not just your life… but your identity?

In part one of this conversation, John sits down with author, grief guide, and speaker Shelby Forsythia to discuss her new book and the complicated, deeply human realities of loss, healing, and personal transformation.

Together, they explore the myths we inherit about grief, why so many people feel pressure to “move on” too quickly, and how grief can quietly reshape our relationships, spirituality, and sense of self. Rather than offering clichés or easy answers, Shelby approaches grief with honesty, compassion, and a willingness to sit with uncertainty — something longtime listeners of The Deconstructionists will likely find familiar.

Topics include:

• Why grief is not a linear process
• The cultural pressure to “get over” loss
• How grief impacts identity and spirituality
• Emotional honesty versus performative healing
• Why many people feel isolated in their pain
• The connection between grief and personal growth
• Learning to live alongside loss rather than “defeating” it

Shelby’s work offers a compassionate alternative to the toxic positivity and oversimplified narratives that often surround grief conversations.

If this conversation resonates with you, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share the episode with someone who may need it.

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What if one of the most influential ideas in modern Christianity… didn’t actually come from Jesus?

In this episode of The Deconstructionists Podcast, we explore the history and impact of dualism — the ancient belief that spirit is good while matter, bodies, and the physical world are somehow lesser, corrupt, or evil.

From Plato and Greek philosophy to Gnosticism and modern evangelical culture, we trace how dualistic thinking quietly shaped theology, sexuality, purity culture, views of the body, the afterlife, politics, and even the way many Christians understand salvation itself.

We ask questions like:

• Why have so many Christians viewed the body with suspicion?
• Did the Bible actually teach a sharp divide between “spiritual” and “physical”?
• How did Greek philosophy influence early Christianity?
• Why do some forms of Christianity focus so heavily on “escaping the world”?
• What happens when faith becomes disconnected from embodiment, justice, and humanity?
• And what might a more holistic, integrated spirituality look like?

Along the way, we discuss:

• Plato and the influence of Greek metaphysics
• Gnosticism and the material/spiritual divide
• The Hebrew understanding of embodied humanity
• Paul’s writings and common misunderstandings about “flesh”
• Heaven, resurrection, and the renewal of creation
• Purity culture and body shame
• The lasting influence of dualism on modern evangelicalism
• Deconstruction, embodiment, and recovering wholeness

This conversation explores how ideas developed historically — and how those ideas still shape people’s lives today, often in ways they don’t even realize.

Whether you come from an evangelical background, are in the middle of deconstruction, or are simply interested in theology, philosophy, and history, this episode offers a deeper look at one of the hidden frameworks underneath modern Christianity.

Topics Covered

• Dualism in Christianity
• Plato and Greek philosophy
• Gnosticism
• Embodiment and spirituality
• Resurrection theology
• Purity culture
• Biblical anthropology
• Evangelical theology
• Deconstruction and reconstruction
• Mind/body divide
• Spiritual formation

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In Part 2 of our conversation, Bart Ehrman returns to discuss his latest book, Love Thy Stranger, and the lasting impact Jesus’ teachings had on moral thought in the Western world.

We continue exploring how ideas surrounding compassion, forgiveness, charity, and care for outsiders emerged within early Christianity — while also wrestling with the ways institutions and political movements have often failed to embody those same values.

In this episode we discuss:

• The tension between the teachings of Jesus and modern political Christianity
• Immigration, nationalism, and “loving your neighbor”
• How moral frameworks evolve over time
• The role Christianity played in shaping Western ethics
• Historical misunderstandings about the ancient world
• Why empathy and human dignity remain central themes in Jesus’ message

Be sure to check out Dr. Ehrman’s new book, Love Thy Stranger, available now wherever books are sold.

Guest Bio

Bart Ehrman is a New Testament scholar, historian of early Christianity, and the author of numerous bestselling books including Misquoting Jesus, Heaven and Hell, Jesus Interrupted, and How Jesus Became God. He is the James A. Gray Distinguished Professor of Religious Studies at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.

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Dr. Bart Ehrman – Love Thy Stranger: How the Teachings of Jesus Transformed the Moral Conscience of the West (Part 1)

In Part 1 of our conversation with renowned New Testament scholar and historian Dr. Bart Ehrman, we dive into his latest book, "Love Thy Stranger: How the Teachings of Jesus Transformed the Moral Conscience of the West".

For centuries, people have debated whether Christianity has been a force for compassion or division. But what if one of the most radical moral ideas in human history came directly from the teachings of Jesus himself?

In this episode, Bart explores how concepts like caring for the poor, loving enemies, and extending compassion beyond one’s tribe were not common moral assumptions in the ancient world—and how the teachings attributed to Jesus helped reshape Western moral imagination over time.

We also discuss:

• What morality looked like in the ancient Greco-Roman world
• Why compassion was often viewed as weakness in antiquity
• The historical context surrounding Jesus’ teachings
• The difference between Jesus’ message and later Christian institutions
• Whether modern secular morality still carries the fingerprints of Christianity
• Why many people misunderstand the historical Jesus
• The tension between the teachings of Jesus and modern Christian nationalism
• How history complicates simplistic narratives about religion’s role in society

As always, this conversation approaches faith, history, and culture through the lens of scholarship, curiosity, and honest dialogue.

About Dr. Bart Ehrman

Dr. Bart Ehrman is one of the world’s leading scholars on the New Testament and early Christianity. He is the James A. Gray Distinguished Professor of Religious Studies at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and the author of numerous bestselling books including:

• "Misquoting Jesus"
• "Jesus, Interrupted"
• "Heaven and Hell"
• "Armageddon"

His work focuses on the historical Jesus, the development of early Christianity, biblical manuscripts, and how religious ideas evolve over time.

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Connect With Us

Website: https://www.thedeconstructionists.org

Bart Ehrman Links

Official Website: https://www.bartehrman.com

Books & Courses: https://www.bartehrman.com/books/

Blog: https://ehrmanblog.org

Thank you for listening to The Deconstructionists Podcast.

Part 2 of our conversation with Dr. Bart Ehrman will be available soon.

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In Part 2 of our conversation with Lillian Daniel, we move deeper into the tensions at the heart of her story—and the bigger questions it raises for the modern church.

If Part 1 explored what happened, this episode asks what it means.

We talk about accountability, institutional systems, and whether the church is actually capable of handling failure in a way that leads to healing rather than harm.

📚 About Lillian Daniel

Lillian Daniel is an ordained minister in the United Church of Christ and currently serves as a Conference Minister, overseeing churches and clergy across Michigan.

She has taught preaching at institutions including Yale Divinity School and the University of Chicago, and is the author of multiple books on faith, ministry, and the evolving role of the church.

Her latest book, Defrocked: Good News from a Bad Pastor for a Better Church, explores her own experience with discipline, failure, and restoration—and what it reveals about the systems meant to hold leaders accountable.

🔗 Stay Connected

• Website: https://www.thedeconstructionists.org

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• Follow along for more conversations with scholars, authors, and thinkers exploring faith, doubt, and everything in between

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📝 Episode Summary

Drawing from her new book, Defrocked: Good News from a Bad Pastor for a Better Church, Lillian shares her journey through ministry, the unexpected challenges she encountered, and the moments that forced her to rethink long-held assumptions about leadership, faith, and belonging.

This episode is an honest look at what happens when certainty begins to crack—and why that might not be the end of faith, but the beginning of something more real.

📚 About the Book

Defrocked: Good News from a Bad Pastor for a Better Church

A candid and often humorous reflection on ministry, failure, and the possibility of a more honest and compassionate church. Lillian Daniel offers a rare behind-the-scenes look at pastoral life—challenging assumptions while pointing toward a healthier future.

👤 About the Guest

Lillian Daniel is a United Church of Christ minister, author, and speaker known for her wit, honesty, and thoughtful critique of modern church culture. Her work often explores faith, doubt, leadership, and the evolving role of the church in contemporary life.

🔗 Resources & Links

• Find Lillian’s book wherever books are sold

• Learn more about her work and writing: www.lilliandaniel.com

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If you enjoyed this episode, you can support The Deconstructionists Podcast by:

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What happens when the version of you that survived… isn’t the version of you that’s whole?

In Part 2 of our conversation with Dr. Cristy Carr, we move deeper—beyond awareness and into the work of healing. Together, we explore what it looks like to reconnect with the parts of ourselves that were silenced, shaped, or suppressed by trauma, religious systems, and the need to belong.

This episode isn’t about quick fixes or easy answers. It’s about the slow, often uncomfortable process of becoming whole again.

Dr. Cristy Carr is a therapist, speaker, and author of The Forgotten Self. Her work focuses on trauma, identity formation, and helping individuals reconnect with their authentic selves—especially those navigating faith transitions and deconstruction.

❤️ Support The Show

If you found this conversation meaningful, there are a few ways to support The Deconstructionists Podcast:

• ⭐ Leave a rating & review

• 🔁 Share this episode with someone who might need it

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Special music provided by: Forrest Clay from the Recover EP.

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🧭 Episode Summary

Who were you… before you were told who to be?

For many of us—especially those shaped by religious systems—identity isn’t something we discovered. It’s something we inherited.

Beliefs. Roles. Expectations.

All layered over time until the line between who we are and who we were told to be becomes hard to see.

In Part 1 of this two-part conversation, we sit down with Cristy S. Carr to explore the core ideas behind her book The Forgotten Self—and what it means to lose connection with ourselves in the pursuit of certainty, belonging, and faithfulness.

This episode is less about what we believe…

and more about who we’ve become in the process of believing.

📚 About the Guest

Cristy S. Carr is an author, theologian, and speaker whose work focuses on identity, spirituality, and the process of reconnecting with the self. Her book The Forgotten Self explores how we lose touch with who we are—and how we begin to find our way back.

Grab a copy of her new book: https://www.amazon.com/Forgotten-Self-Remember-Who-Truly/dp/B0G51WPJZN

🔥 Support the Show

If you want to support The Deconstructionists Podcast:

🎥 Join our Patreon

Get access to exclusive content, deep-dive educational videos, and bonus conversations

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🌎 Ships worldwide

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Episode: Violence and the Bible – What Do We Do With It?

🧭 Episode Summary

Violence is everywhere in the Bible—and for many, it’s one of the most difficult aspects of scripture to reconcile with the idea of a loving God.

In this episode, John explores one of the most pressing and personal questions facing modern readers of the Bible:

What do we do with the violence in scripture—and what does it mean for us today?

Prompted by a recent discussion group and unfolding global events, this episode wrestles with:

• Whether violence is ever justified

• The ethics of war, self-defense, and state power

• How ancient texts have been used—and misused—to justify modern violence

Rather than offering easy answers, this conversation leans into the tension, drawing on biblical scholarship, theology, and ethical philosophy to better understand what the Bible is—and what it is not.

📚 Scholars & Works Referenced

🧠 Foundational Biblical & Ethical Scholarship

• Peter Enns — How the Bible Actually Works

→ Argues that the Bible reflects the perspectives of ancient people trying to understand God, rather than functioning as a rulebook dictated from heaven.

• Greg Boyd — The Crucifixion of the Warrior God

→ Proposes that violent portrayals of God in the Old Testament are refracted through human understanding and ultimately point toward the nonviolent revelation of God in Jesus.

• Eric A. Seibert — Disturbing Divine Behavior

→ Explores troubling depictions of God in scripture and argues that not all portrayals of God in the Bible should be accepted as morally authoritative.

• John J. Collins — Does the Bible Justify Violence?

→ Examines how biblical texts have historically been used to justify violence and urges careful, contextual interpretation.

• Miroslav Volf — Exclusion and Embrace

→ Reflects on violence, justice, and reconciliation in light of human conflict and the Christian call to forgiveness.

🧠 Ethical & Philosophical Perspectives

• Jonathan Sacks — Essays on Ethics

→ Engages deeply with moral questions surrounding violence, responsibility, and the misuse of religious texts.

• Stanley Hauerwas — The Peaceable Kingdom

→ Advocates for a distinctly Christian ethic rooted in nonviolence and the teachings of Jesus.

• Reinhold Niebuhr — Moral Man and Immoral Society

→ Explores the tension between personal ethics and collective political responsibility, including the justification of force.

💬 Join the Conversation

What do you think?

Is violence ever justified? How do you interpret the difficult passages in scripture?

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