Ding dong merrily on high (baby) The Detective Inspectors are back (baby) with a new series of poorly researched, amateurishly produced and ineptly performed podcasts! You would think that by now this would all be a lot more professional but the audio quality is as sub-standard as the jokes and out of date cultural references. 

In this episode (that's right, it's a Christmas special, baby), Marcus and Tabby find Kojak in a festive mood andsporting a ghastly waistcoat. It's Christmas Eve in the 11th Precinct and Kojak is looking for a would-be-murderer who shot himself in the wrist and a potential robber in a red silk scarf. 

Also, Marcus is rude to Tabby and Tabby seems to be wishing that Marcus was dead. Enjoy the podcast and don't forget to recommend us to anyone you think might enjoy these ramblings.

Merry Christmas (babies)!

Hi there listener(s), unfortunately Marcus and Tabby are still having technical issues and so there is no episode this week (although you probably noticed that on Friday when you dashed to your computer, smartphone or other mp3 ready device to download the latest instalment of unmissable aural content that we are in the habit of serving up here at TDI). The shadowy backroom team behind the podcast urges you to spend the next two weeks catching up on episodes you may have missed (Moonlighting, perhaps) to aid the push to 1000 total downloads. Also if you know anybody in New Zealand, please encourage them to listen, just one of them. Please.

Contact us if you have nothing else going on in your life...

t: @detect_inspect e: [email protected]

We've got 99 problems but the beach ain't one... that's right because at least one member of the podcast (although none of the members of the shadowy backroom team) lives right on the fooking beach. OK, let's front up... we have technical issues so this episode is from the shadowy archive of prepisodes (TM: Marcus) that was never meant for air. Still, it's a good time, you have a catholic priest meddling in the business of the police and all sorts. Enjoy the podcast and hopefully, we will be back soon!

Don't forget to check out the awesome 'The Fabricators' the official band of the podcast, you can find them at the link below... you know it makes sense...

https://fabricators.bandcamp.com/

https://twitter.com/the_fabricators?lang=en

Join Marcus and Tabby in beautiful Amsterdam for a tale involving poison, horse, rare books and phallic mushrooms. This show makes less sense than the podcast and features perhaps the least satisfying ending of anything covered here so far. Is Van der Valk more or less unpleasant than Morse and just who do you have to kill to get arrested on this programme?? Entertained you might be (probably not though). 

Contact the podcast on twitter @Detect_Inspect or email them here: [email protected]

And if you are a masochist why not watch the featured episode over on the old YouTube!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElqGy617I4o

Ok, so there was this garden... oh forget it, you'll hear all about the garden if you tune into this latest instalment the podcast. More importantly, what the twig has happened to the audio quality on this episode. There is rustling, buzzing, clicking, phones going off and perhaps most importantly laughter; when the shadowy backroom team that control the podcast chose this show they cannot have possibly imagined it would be so much twigging fun! 

Also, the listener(s) is(are) named, Tabby struggles to recognise faces and Marcus proves himself to be an, er, genius?

We strongly urge you to watch this on YouTube and not the remake on ITV or BBC or whoever the twig does it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CG7gXj2jb8s

TWIGS.

Come with us as the 'shadowy-backroom-team' send Marcus and Tabby whizzing back in time to the 1950's when everyone looked almost identical. A popular boxer has been killed leaving his deadbeat friend to clear up the mess along with any booze that happens to be left lying around. The scenery gets chewed, someone takes a pasting and er, er, well that's about it really. Well, what were you expecting in a 25-minute programme?

Watch Peter Gunn on tax-dodging video streaming platform Amazon Prime if you fancy it... it's worth your time, just about.

Contact us... blah blah blah.

Episode 14 finds Marcus and Tabby overstaying there welcome in Los Angeles as they check in at the Blue Moon Detective agency with Bruce and Cybill. This series is a classic but unbelievably one of the hosts had never seen it before being forced to watch it for this podcast! Topics up for discussion include cannibalism, smoking and the rights and wrongs of wearing a jumper without a t-shirt underneath. There's also a heated falling out and news of some exciting celebrity correspondence. Sort of. Plus the best chase music ever on TV, bar none. 

Get in touch if you want and check this out, there's a link down there to the episode on YouTube so you can go see what all the talk is about!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ykOpSbzeEY

e: [email protected]

t: @detect_inspect

Join Marcus and Tabby as they go all West Coast with this look at late 90's oddity LA Heat. A deranged killer is on the loose, fired up by an obnoxious Shock Jock, but don't worry there's still time to romance your girlfriend on the boat and enjoy some naughty time with the wife over at the boxing gym. Hold on to your hat listener because this is a wild ride with possibly one of the best chase sequences ever put to film, or video, or whatever this was shot on. Shame they didn't spend as much time working on the plot as they did the ACTION and EXPLOSIONS.

Contact us if you can be arsed and why not tell a friend about us. What, you haven't got any, no nor have we.

By the way, looks like new eps appear on a Friday now, like you care. 

Welcome back to the podcast and a happy New Year! This latest installment finds Marcus and Tabby in the fictional county of Westershire, checking in with copper_cum_chef Henry Crabbe, played by the terrific Richard Griffiths. Just what the heck is going on in this programme? Who exactly is doing what to whose wine and why? Find out how much vodka it is OK to drink while driving a van. And why would a middle-aged restauranteur need a pair of violent goons? The only certainty is that the wine is Cabinet Sauvignon, that's Cabinet Sauvignon. Say it again, Cabinet Sauvignon.  

Rate and review us at iTunes and why not contact us. Tweet @detect_inspect and email [email protected] 

Well you probably thought (or hoped) that we had gone away forever but you were wrong. This isn't an episode though, one of those will come very soon (we promise), this is just kind of a hello, how are you doing kinda thing.

Happy New Year listener!