What happens when our dead talks back?

In this episode of Messy Minded, Jess explores the digital afterlife: the growing world of AI griefbots, memorial chatbots, and artificial companions trained on the voices, messages, and personalities of people who have died.

Ela Darling (adult entertainer, worlds 1st VR camgirl, ex-librarian, former co-host of the 'Ill Repute' podcast, and not-so-secret nerd) guests this episode for Jess as they dive into the ethical, psychological, and emotional questions behind griefbots and “dead chatbots” — from early experiments and viral apps to real stories of people using AI to cope with loss.

Together, they explore:

• What griefbots are and how they work
• The rise of AI-powered digital afterlife tools
• Why this technology feels both comforting and unsettling
• Whether griefbots help with mourning — or prolong it
• Ethical concerns around consent, memory, and digital legacy
• Potential risks, including emotional dependence and manipulation
• How grief, memory, and identity change when AI enters the picture

Whether you’re curious about AI, grieving someone you love, or just trying to understand where technology is taking us next, this episode sits right in the uncomfortable middle — where most honest questions live.

Topics include:

AI griefbots, digital afterlife, memorial chatbots, grief and technology, ethics of AI, AI companions, digital legacy, mourning and memory, artificial intelligence and grief, emotional AI, Black Mirror comparisons, consent after death.

And yes — Ela may or may not place a fake curse on humanity that ensures her opinions echo forever. You’ve been warned.

This episode isn’t here to tell you what to think — just to give you better questions to sit with.

https://open.spotify.com/show/3htrTJx4ORepBRYxJ7ZGPv?si=6e5942d7bf1746bd

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/messy-minded-podcast/id1819603605

@MessyMindedPod

@ElaDarlingX

ElaDarling.com

Sources & Further Reading

Grief, Psychology & Memory

• Worden, J. W. Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy
• Neimeyer, R. A. (2019). Meaning Reconstruction in Bereavement
• Shear, M. K. (2015). Complicated grief and neural processing
• Harvard Medical School — grief and neuroplasticity research

AI Griefbots & Digital Afterlife

• Eugenia Kuyda & the origins of Replika (following the death of Roman Mazurenko, 2015)
• MIT Technology Review — “The Chatbots That Help You Grieve”
• The Verge — coverage on AI companions and emotional attachment
• Wired — digital resurrection, memorial AI, and ethics
• University of Kent & University of Cambridge research on posthumous chatbots and user responses

Ethics, Consent & Technology

• Mozilla Foundation — AI ethics and emotional manipulation
• Electronic Frontier Foundation (EFF) — data privacy and consent
• EU AI Act discussions on emotional AI systems
• Stanford Human-Centered AI — long-term impacts of conversational AI

Scams & Social Engineering

• FBI Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3) reports
• FTC guidance on impersonation scams and emotional manipulation
• Studies on authority-based persuasion and compliance psychology

Listener Note

This episode discusses grief, death, and emotional vulnerability. Please take care while listening, and step away if you need to.

Music by: SoundPlusUS Label and Mr. Lex Oleksii Bezalov for "Spark Groove", Nikita Kondrashev for "Cosy, Quirky, Comedy", Geoff Harvey for "Mischief Maker", and Audio Coffee for "Funny", BFC Music "Funny Comedy Kids",

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