Summary

Some of the most valuable and enduring lessons that we need to learn are best taught at home. Conversations at the dinner table is one way, but activities and conversations in the car, during exercise, or while just hanging out are all wonderful opportunities. I include all of it under “The Dinner Table.”

Links and References

“Give a Man a Fish…”

“Am I My Brother’s Keeper?”

Contact

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Transcript

This podcast makes the case for the nurture side of the nature vs. nurture discussion. And let’s take the vs. part out; both are powerful influencers, and should not at all be looked at as being in opposition one to the other. Nature and nurture. And we are also going to talk about the different roles and responsibilities we all have around the dinner table--part of the nurture element. The family dinner table is the metaphor we’ll use, but the roles and responsibilities are transportable to other settings. Conversations at the dinner table can certainly be effective, as are doing activities together, conversations in the car, during exercise, and talking while just hanging out. I include all of this under “The Dinner Table.”

For the dinner table to work, to start with someone has to know something worthwhile. No, I am not talking about biases or opinions based on preconceived notions. And I am not talking about lecturing anyone, or trying to be right simply because you know, by God, you’re right. I am talking about things that will make the people around you better if they listen and take action on what you said or showed them by example. Making your case verbally with logic, making your case by example, making your case with care and with the other person’s benefit in mind can open a path for you to be heard. Share what you believe if you can also share, calmly and logically, why you believe it. And for the dinner table to work, someone else has to be willing to listen. Not be willing to buy into everything that’s said, but to be respectful enough to listen. Imagine that; a conversation where the speaker has something valuable to say, and the listener has enough intellectual curiosity and respect to actually listen.

The evidence of the power of the dinner table is all around us. I’ll pass along some examples I have read about, and some from my own experience. And, my guess is, you have examples of your own.

In sports, one of the first examples that comes to mind is the Manning family. Archie, Dad, and sons, Peyton and Eli, were all starting NFL quarterbacks; the sons have two Super Bowl rings each. Had the eldest son, Cooper, not been diagnosed with spinal stenosis the summer before he was to play football at his Dad’s alma mater, the University of Mississippi, he could easily have been the best of the three sons. How did that happen? Football, specifically quarterbacking, was discussed at the actual dinner table, and frequently practiced in the backyard and other settings. For many years.

Here’s another football family: the McCaffrey’s. Ed, the Dad, won three three Super Bowl Rings; one as a wide receiver with the 49ers, and two with the Denver Broncos. The oldest son, Max, is a wide receiver with the 49ers. Christian McCaffrey plays in the NFL for the Carolina Panthers. Dylan plays for the University of Michigan, and the youngest, Luke, is a rising Junior at football powerhouse Valor Christian High School, and has already received offers from two major football colleges. Why? The primary answer is the same as above. The dinner table.

We can see the same thing with families in politics and acting: Henry Fonda was Dad to Jane and Peter; Lloyd...