The Dope Black Chick

You can be handling everything, showing up, and getting things done—and still feel disconnected from your own life.

In this episode, Kimberly sits with the question: where did I go? She shares how busyness, responsibility, career, relationships, and unresolved circumstances can quietly become the things that determine whether we feel okay. This is a faith-centered conversation about returning to God as your center, making room to listen, and letting honest questions lead before you have a polished plan.

If you have been feeling lost in the middle of a life that looks full, this is your reminder that doing things and feeling connected are not the same experience. You do not have to solve everything today. Start by noticing what has been sitting at the center—and where you want to return.

SHOW NOTES

In this episode, Kimberly explores the gap between being productive and feeling connected to your life. She reflects on what happens when career, relationships, finances, or outcomes begin to determine your peace, sense of worth, and direction.

This conversation includes:

• Why staying busy is not the same as feeling connected

• How self-blame can keep you from honestly noticing what is going on

• The difference between inviting God into your plans and listening for direction

• Why uncertainty can feel especially heavy when you are used to being capable and figuring things out

• Making room for grief, gratitude, confusion, change, and the desire for something different

• Using stillness, devotional practice, meditation, and journaling to listen

• Letting yourself do the next clear thing instead of filling every uncertain space with another task

Journal with these questions:

• What am I letting determine my peace, my sense of worth, and the direction of my day?

• Am I looking to God for direction, or mostly asking Him to come along with plans I have already made?

• Which parts of myself have become quiet while I have been taking care of what needed to be done?

• What do I miss about myself, and what am I ready to let change?

• What helps me feel grounded in an ordinary day, even before my circumstances are resolved?

You do not have to have a polished answer before you can ask an honest question.

Visit The Dope Black Chick podcast hub to purchase your Work Through It Listening Journal: https://thedopeblackchick.com

Overqualified, Overlooked, and Tired is a real conversation for Black women navigating layoffs, long job searches, career disruption, and the quiet way professional uncertainty can start changing how you see yourself.

Kimberly sits in the conversation alongside you—not with five steps to land a dream job or a promise that job loss is a blessing in disguise. She names what happens when education, experience, reliability, and years of doing everything right still do not create the security you were taught to expect.

This episode explores job-search silence, being told you are overqualified, tailoring your résumé without erasing yourself, and the difference between your value and your employability in one market at one moment. It is an honest space to honor the financial pressure, exhaustion, and self-doubt without making yourself the problem.

If you have been asking, “What is wrong with me?” this conversation is a reminder: something happening to you is not always evidence that something is wrong with you.

SHOW NOTES

In this episode, Kimberly talks about:

• What it feels like when you did everything you were told to do and work still does not feel secure

• How layoffs, rejection, automated responses, and silence can affect self-trust

• Why “overqualified” can feel like a dismissal of hard-earned capability

• The difference between tailoring your résumé and erasing yourself

• Why a new job does not automatically restore a sense of safety

• Rethinking security beyond loyalty from one employer

• Why entrepreneurship may be an option for some, but is not a universal answer

Reflection questions:

• What have I started believing about myself because of what is happening in this job market?

• Which parts of my experience still belong to me, even when an employer fails to recognize them?

• What would security mean to me now if I stopped defining it only as being chosen by one employer?

• What do I need while I am in this season—not after I solve it, but right now?

If this conversation gave language to something you have been carrying quietly, visit The Dope Black Chick podcast hub and take the next honest step.

https://thedopeblackchick.com

If this episode made you think of another Black woman navigating a layoff, long job search, or career transition, send it to her—not to give advice, but to remind her she is not alone.

Visit The Dope Black Chick podcast hub.

https://thedopeblackchick.com

Nobody told us this part. In this honest conversation, Kimberly talks about what perimenopause can actually feel like: the heat, night sweats, disrupted sleep, aches, headaches, irritability, cycle changes, and the private question so many women ask—“What is happening to me?”

For Black women over 40 especially, this episode makes room for the lived experience behind the symptoms: feeling dismissed, wondering whether you are “too young,” and turning unfamiliar changes into personal judgments. Kimberly offers a different question: What has changed?

This is not a diagnosis or a substitute for medical care. It is an invitation to notice patterns, track what is different, ask qualified healthcare professionals better questions, seek another opinion when needed, and stop treating your changing body like a personal failure.

Pull out your fan, give yourself some grace, and learn the body you are living in now.

Visit The Dope Black Chick podcast hub: https://thedopeblackchick.com

SHOW NOTES

In this episode, Kimberly discusses:

• What unfamiliar body changes can feel like before you have language for them

• Heat, sweating, sleep changes, cycle shifts, fatigue, irritability, headaches, aches, and forgetfulness

• Why “What has changed?” can be more useful than “What is wrong with me?”

• The relief of recognizing a possible body transition without self-diagnosing

• What to do when you feel dismissed or told you are too young

• Tracking symptoms, timing, cycle changes, and questions before a healthcare appointment

• Why lived experience can help women notice patterns and ask better questions—but cannot replace qualified medical care

• Adapting with compassion through rest, schedule adjustments, clearer communication, and yes, a fan

• Inviting partners and loved ones to learn alongside you

• Building a more honest roadmap for daughters, nieces, and the women coming behind us

A gentle reminder: Perimenopause symptoms can overlap with other health concerns. If changes are affecting your quality of life, track what you are experiencing and talk with a qualified healthcare professional.

Book resources:

What No One Told Us, The Black Woman's Guide to Menopause by Dr. Michelle Cooke, The Perimenopause Survival Guide by Heather Hirsch, The New Perimenopause by Dr. Mary Claire.

Visit The Dope Black Chick podcast hub: https://thedopeblackchick.com

Friendship after 40 can look different than it did when life gave you daily calls, spontaneous hangouts, and endless access to each other. That does not mean the love, trust, or connection is gone.

In this episode, Kimberly talks about building meaningful adult friendships with more realistic expectations, reciprocity, patience, and intention. She explores why one friend does not have to meet every need, how a distributed village can still be deeply real, and what it takes to let a new friendship unfold.

You will hear practical encouragement for making friends after 40: go where your people are, connect around shared interests, follow up, make plans, and give trust time to grow.

If you have been wanting a village, girlfriends, or women you can do life with, this is your reminder: you have not met everybody who is going to love you yet.

Start your next step at https://thedopeblackchick.com.

In this episode:

• Why friendship after 40 should not be measured by constant access

• How friendships can change shape without becoming weaker

• Why every friend does not have to do every job

• The difference between chemistry and trust in a new friendship

• How shared interests, repeated contact, safe interaction, and follow-up help friendship grow

• Why adult friendship often needs to be put on the calendar

• How to recognize and nurture a distributed village

Questions to journal:

1. What kind of friendship do I actually want in this season?

2. Am I being the kind of friend I say I want?

3. Where would the kind of woman I want to meet naturally be?

A reminder from Kimberly: You have not met everybody who is going to love you yet.

Start your next step at https://thedopeblackchick.com.

What do you do when your life still looks fine on paper, but it no longer feels like yours?

In this episode, Kimberly shares why an in-between season is not necessarily a setback. Using the image of moving through a mountain range, she explores what it means to descend from one peak, cross unfamiliar terrain, and make room for the next version of your life.

If you are feeling restless, questioning an old identity, craving more peace, or realizing that what once fit no longer does, this conversation is an invitation to stop calling yourself lost. You may simply be between peaks.

Reflect with Kimberly on what no longer fits, why gratitude and growth can coexist, and how to take a small next step without forcing a full plan.

Start the free Come Back to Yourself five-day reset.

Show Notes

In this episode:

• Why a descent does not mean you are going backward

• What it means when a life that still works on paper no longer feels like yours

• How gratitude and growth can coexist

• Why the old version of success, ambition, or identity can be valid and still no longer fit

• Small, quieter ways to add on to your life without forcing a dramatic reinvention

• Why clarity may come after you move—not before

Reflection questions:

• What part of my life still works on paper but no longer feels like it belongs to me?

• If I stopped calling this season a setback, what might I call it instead?

• What am I holding onto because it is familiar?

• What is this season asking me to become?

If your life still works on paper but no longer feels like yours, take five days to pause and listen.

Start the free Come Back to Yourself five-day reset: START HERE

Have you ever caught yourself thinking, I should know this by now?

Maybe you've been in business for years, you've been married before, you've built a career, raised a family, or simply lived enough life that you feel like you shouldn't still be figuring things out.

And yet, here you are.

In this episode of The Dope Black Chick Podcast, Kimberly A. Spidle explores the pressure women often put on themselves to already have the answers, especially as we get older, and why becoming a beginner again may actually be evidence that you're still growing.

A simple experience while learning Spanish led Kimberly to a powerful realization: you don't have to have arrived to have proof that you're capable. Sometimes the evidence is simply recognizing that you can do something today that you couldn't do before.

We're talking about confidence after 40, personal growth, learning new things, navigating changing seasons, and releasing the belief that experience means you're never allowed to say, I don't know.

In this episode, you'll hear about:

• Why "I should know this by now" can quietly destroy curiosity

• How to recognize evidence of growth instead of only measuring the finish line

• Why starting again after 40 doesn't mean you've fallen behind

• What happens when competence becomes its own kind of prison

• Why the strategies that worked in your business years ago may need to be relearned for today's world

• How being a beginner can actually feel freeing

• Why every relationship and season may require you to learn something new

• How trying, failing, learning, and trying again actually builds confidence

• The powerful difference between "I can't do this" and "I can't do this yet"

If you're navigating a new season, questioning whether you've lost your touch, learning something new after 40, or wondering why you haven't figured everything out by now, this conversation is your reminder:

You are still capable of learning. You are still capable of changing. And you are still becoming.

You don't have to know how to do the whole next season.

You just have to be willing to become the student who can learn it.

In This Episode | Show Notes

Kimberly shares how learning Spanish unexpectedly became evidence of something much bigger: she can still learn.

That realization opens a conversation about aging, confidence, entrepreneurship, marriage, reinvention, and the pressure experienced women can place on themselves to already know the answers.

Instead of asking:

"Why am I not there yet?"

Try asking:

"What can I do now that I couldn't do before?"

Look for the evidence.

What feels easier now?
What do you understand now?
What are you recognizing faster?
What used to overwhelm you that you can handle differently today?

Your progress doesn't have to be dramatic to count.

If you're in a season of change and want some space to slow down, reconnect with yourself, and hear what you actually need next, join the Come Back to Yourself: 5-Day Reset.

It's a free five-day email experience with simple reflections and intentional practices designed to help you reconnect with yourself without the pressure to become somebody new overnight.

Start your free 5-Day Reset:
https://bit/ly/comebacktoyourself5

If this episode made you think of another woman who's learning how to navigate a new season, send it to her.

Follow The Dope Black Chick Podcast on your favorite podcast platform so you don't miss the next conversation.

And if the show has helped you come back to yourself, leave a rating or review. It helps more women find these conversations.

Until next time, keep learning, keep becoming, and keep coming back to yourself.

Do you find yourself bracing for disappointment, even when life seems to go well? In this episode, Kimberly explores why we often expect the worst, even when we’re hoping for the best. She shares her personal story of how old beliefs and past disappointments can distort what’s happening right now.

With practical steps to pause, reflect, and separate past fears from present truth, Kimberly guides you toward healing emotional triggers and learning to trust yourself again.

This episode is for anyone who’s ready to stop letting old fears write new stories.

Show Notes:

• Free 5-Day Reset: “Come Back to Yourself” – Sign up here to reconnect with your truth.
• Mentioned Book: “Ask and It Is Given” by Esther & Jerry Hicks.
• Follow “The Dope Black Chick Podcast” and leave a review.

Until next time, be gentle with yourself, and keep coming back to yourself.

How do you know if the life you're chasing is actually the life you want?

If you've been searching for your purpose, trying to find clarity, wondering what you really want in life, or working toward intentional living, this episode is for you.

In this episode of The Dope Black Chick Podcast, Kimberly A. Spidle explores one of the most important questions you'll ever ask yourself:

Why do you want what you want?

Sometimes we think we want more money.

A promotion.

A relationship.

A business.

A new beginning.

But often, those aren't the real desires.

They're simply the vehicle for something much deeper.

Inspired by the teachings of Ask and It Is Given, Kimberly unpacks how discovering the thing beneath the thing can transform the way you make decisions, pursue goals, and create a life that feels aligned instead of performative.

✔️ How to discover what you really want in life

✔️ Why finding your purpose starts with understanding your true desires

✔️ The hidden emotions driving your biggest goals

✔️ How intentional living creates greater peace and fulfillment

✔️ Why chasing success doesn't always create happiness

✔️ The difference between external achievement and internal alignment

✔️ How self-awareness changes the way you make decisions

This episode is perfect if you're searching for:

• finding your purpose

• how to find your passion
• intentional living
• personal growth
• self-discovery
• creating a life you love
• finding yourself again
• mindset shifts
• emotional healing
• purpose-driven living
• Ask and It Is Given
• Abraham Hicks
• life alignment
• Black women personal development

Resources Mentioned:📖 Ask and It Is Given by Esther & Jerry Hicks

If today's conversation resonated with you, download my free Come Back to Yourself: 5-Day Reset and begin reconnecting with who you are—one intentional step at a time.

https://comebacktoyourself5dayreset.subscribepage.io/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=show_notes&utm_campaign=reset_sep26&utm_content=what_do_i_need

🎙️ If this episode encouraged you, follow The Dope Black Chick Podcast, leave a review, and share it with someone who's ready to stop chasing what they think they should want and start discovering what truly aligns with who they are.

In this episode, Kimberly A. Spidle shares her heartfelt journey of navigating loss, grief, and the importance of embracing pauses in life and business. She offers practical insights on how to trust the process, remain consistent through seasons of change, and come back stronger.

Key Topics:

• The significance of understanding life's seasons and natural rhythms
• Rethinking traditional notions of consistency and pauses
• The power of allowing and trusting in life's transition processes
• How grief and reflection foster creativity and growth
• Practical tools: the Come Back to Yourself five-day reset
• The importance of self-compassion during challenging seasons
• How to return to yourself without guilt or shame
• The role of faith, energy, and trust in navigating transitions
• Insights from the book Ask and It Is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks
• Stories of support, love, and resilience within family and business

Timestamps:00:00 - Introduction: Kimberly shares her recent life updates and why she paused
02:11 - Embracing peace in difficult times and shifting perspectives on consistency
03:36 - The misconception of constant productivity and natural seasons of growth
06:29 - Redefining consistency: trees, tides, and heartbeat as examples of rhythm
08:25 - The importance of taking pauses without guilt or shame
09:53 - Recognizing that coming back is part of true consistency
11:14 - Insights from Ask and It Is Given on grief, transition, and allowing
12:43 - The power of allowing vs. forcing in life's transitions
14:36 - Trusting the process: energy, transition, and your place in life’s rhythm
16:31 - When you realize you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be
17:29 - The creative power of grief, reflection, and silence
18:38 - Movie recommendation: Everything Everywhere All at Once
20:47 - Invitation to the Come Back to Yourself five-day reset
21:15 - Encouragement: You can always return, and consistency is understanding who you are
22:27 - Final thoughts: Be gentle with yourself and honor your season of pause
23:02 - Closing words: Coming back to yourself is always worth it

Resources & Links:

• Ask and It Is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks⁠

• ⁠Come Back to Yourself Five-Day Reset⁠
• ⁠Celebration Spiritual Center⁠

Connect with Kimberly:

• Instagram⁠

• ⁠Website⁠

What happens when you build a life that looks like everything — and still lose yourself inside it? In Episode 710, Kimberly sits down with Myesha Chaney, author of the memoir Honest, for a raw and grounded conversation about identity loss in marriage, the quiet cost of silence, and what it takes to finally tell yourself the truth. This one is for every woman who has been performing her life instead of living it.

SHOW NOTES:

In this conversation we talk about:

• What it feels like to lose an identity you built your whole life around
• The moment she realized who she had been was no longer who she was
• What nobody tells you about rebuilding after everything falls apart
• What silence actually costs us — and what telling the truth can set free

This episode is for the woman who has been performing okay. The one who built the right life and still feels like something is missing. The one who is ready to come home to herself.

Links mentioned in this episode:

• Myesha Chaney's memoir "Honest" → https://amzn.to/4upMjfD
• Myesha's website → https://www.myeshachaney.com/
• Myesha's Instagram → @myeshachaney
• Join the Come Back to Yourself Reset (FREE 5-day email reset) → https://comebacktoyourself5dayreset.subscribepage.io/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=show_notes&utm_campaign=reset_sep26&utm_content=evergreen_reset
• The Becoming Circle → https://ihearthatgirl.com/becoming-circle-waitlist
• The Dope Black Chick on Instagram → @thedopeblackchick

Episode Tags: mental health, identity, Black women, healing, divorce, rebuilding, memoir, faith, becoming, self-discovery