Paul explains how fundamental attribution error and self-serving bias make us excuse our own faults while blaming our partner, creating anger and distance in marriage.
He offers simple fixes: try imagining external reasons for your spouse’s actions and ask a trusted friend to point out when you’re being unfair, so you can see yourself honestly and improve your relationship.

Paul explains how fundamental attribution error and self-serving bias make us excuse our own faults while blaming our partner, creating anger and distance in marriage. He offers simple fixes: try imagining external reasons for your spouse’s actions and ask a trusted friend to point out when you’re being unfair, so you can see yourself honestly and improve your relationship.

The Double Standard: You’re "Stressed" but They’re "Selfish"

This blog is not Doing Marriage Right. That would be about doing what someone thinks we should all do. Your marriage is the blending of two unique people, and what works for others may not be good for you. There are things that are nearly universally successful for couples, and things that are universally harmful. For those who follow Jesus, there are some expectations and limits. But honesty, there’s a great deal of wiggle room. We’ve seen happy couples living a wide variety of different ways. If it’s in God’s will, and both husband and wife are good with it, who am I to say anything against it?
The goal here is to help you find what works well for your marriage. I will do that by offering you things to consider. As things are shared, weight them. Try those that seem like they might work for your marriage. If it’s a good fit, great. If not, ditch it, or consider how to modify it to work for your relationship.
Doing Marriage Well means actually doing what builds our marriage relationships.
It’s the doing that makes the difference!
Every Monday I share about a marriage concept and then spend the rest of the week talking about ways to use it in your life and marriage. On Friday, I will apply the concept to sexuality.

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This blog is not Doing Marriage Right. That would be about doing what someone thinks we should all do. Your marriage is the blending of two unique people, and what works for others may not be good for you. There are things that are nearly universally successful for couples, and things that are universally harmful. For those who follow Jesus, there are some expectations and limits. But honesty, there’s a great deal of wiggle room. We’ve seen happy couples living a wide variety of different ways. If it’s in God’s will, and both husband and wife are good with it, who am I to say anything against it? The goal here is to help you find what works well for your marriage. I will do that by offering you things to consider. As things are shared, weight them. Try those that seem like they might work for your marriage. If it’s a good fit, great. If not, ditch it, or consider how to modify it to work for your relationship. Doing Marriage Well means actually doing what builds our marriage relationships. It’s the doing that makes the difference! Every Monday I share about a marriage concept and then spend the rest of the week talking about ways to use it in your life and marriage. On Friday, I will apply the concept to sexuality.

This blog is not Doing Marriage Right. That would be about doing what someone thinks we should all do. Your marriage is the blending of two unique people, and what works for others may not be good for you. There are things that are nearly universally successful for couples, and things that are universally harmful. For those who follow Jesus, there are some expectations and limits. But honesty, there’s a great deal of wiggle room. We’ve seen happy couples living a wide variety of different ways. If it’s in God’s will, and both husband and wife are good with it, who am I to say anything against it?
The goal here is to help you find what works well for your marriage. I will do that by offering you things to consider. As things are shared, weight them. Try those that seem like they might work for your marriage. If it’s a good fit, great. If not, ditch it, or consider how to modify it to work for your relationship.
Doing Marriage Well means actually doing what builds our marriage relationships.
It’s the doing that makes the difference!
Every Monday I share about a marriage concept and then spend the rest of the week talking about ways to use it in your life and marriage. On Friday, I will apply the concept to sexuality.

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The Double Standard: You’re "Stressed" but They’re "Selfish"

The Double Standard: You’re "Stressed" but They’re "Selfish"