On this episode of The Dr. Cloud Show:   A viewer of the show wrote in asking about the difference between reacting and responding. When we react to another person, they're in control. When we respond, we're in control. Dr. Cloud provides examples.   Jessica is estranged from her brother. When she expressed her feelings to him, he put up a wall. It's been a year since they last talked. She's fine with the situation but their mom isn't. How can she get her mom to stop persisting with their reconciliation?   Paul is having trouble saying no to his wife. He feels guilted into making promises he can't keep regarding his time and his work. He feels like saying no to her requests isn't an option because every time he does say no, it causes a backlash.   Get a free 14 day trial to Boundaries.me with over 90 video courses, daily coaching emails and more. We've got courses on codependency, finding safe people, dealing with a narcissist, and over 90 other courses. You'll also get daily coaching videos delivered to your inbox--short 2-4 minute videos that give you one thing to do that day to build your way to a better version of yourself. We've also got a members-only support community on the site where you can discuss what you're learning, and get support and share support along the way. It's a free two-week trial, cancel at anytime, and only $9 a month after that.    Are you having difficulty with trusting someone you're close to? Maybe you're trying to rebuild trust but you get set back by reliving what happened. Is this person worthy of giving your trust to in the first place? We have a two hour live workshop coming up on Trust. It's on February 21st. If you can't attend live, don't worry! All purchases include endless streaming access to the recording and the outline. 

Episode 303 - The Dr. Cloud Show Live - Focus On The Inside - 12-21-2021

Dr. Henry Cloud's Boundaries.me podcast features inspiring stories about the benefits to your relationships, mental health, productivity and wellbeing that come when you implement healthy boundaries.

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Dr. Cloud provides guidance for couples struggling to reignite their romantic spark. Drawing from biblical wisdom and psychological expertise, he explores the natural seasons of marriage and offers strategies to reignite passion. He encourages couples to reflect on how they prioritized careers over their relationship, examine psychological factors behind this shift, and revisit activities that fostered initial connection. Dr. Cloud recommends revisiting initial bonding activities, making time to listen/connect without household tasks, and sharing what drew them together originally. With empathy, he empowers the couple to rediscover their qualities and rekindle their marital flame.   Christian has a problem: he loves solving other people’s problems. How can he stop relating to others by trying to fix their issues?   Emily’s boyfriend recently purchased a home and she moved in with him. They are going to get engaged and have been together for a while. The problem is his mother (her future mother-in-law) acts like it’s her house. How can establish boundaries with her?   Elizabeth was in an abusive marriage for 24 years and got out of it about 4 years ago. She needs help with dating. How can she remain vigilant while staying open-hearted with her dates?   Dr. Henry Cloud wants to help you take back control of your time and energy. You'll learn powerful strategies to prioritize what matters, set healthy boundaries, and achieve your goals with less stress and more joy. Master Your Time, Master Your Life is a 2 hour workshop that will transform how you use your time. Go to https://www.boundaries.me/time to get a special offer on the upcoming workshop!   If you want to call in or watch the show live, subscribe on YouTube and click the Bell icon. It will alert you whenever we go live and will be your cue to call in and ask Dr. Cloud for advice. https://youtube.com/drhenrycloud

Episode 409 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Rekindling the Marital Flame

Dr. Henry Cloud takes a deep dive into the world of anxiety, honing in on a crucial aspect: learning to navigate internal anxieties without giving in to typical responses. From unraveling the physical effects of anxiety to unraveling the mind's interpretations, Dr. Cloud sheds light on the power of response inhibition in managing anxieties. With relatable stories and practical insights, this video guides you through the art of sitting with anxiety instead of running from it. Audience Write-in Question: I come from a close-knit family that values togetherness, but I often feel suffocated by their constant need for communication and shared activities. How can I set healthy boundaries with my family members without hurting their feelings or causing misunderstandings? Sarah has a sister-in-law that is dead set on vilifying her within her husband's family. The sister-in-law used to be very close to her brother (Sarah’s husband) and Sarah thinks she feels threatened by their closeness.  Finley’s parents are overly involved in her life. She’s a single mother and needs help from time to time, but her parents are overstepping in their helpfulness.  Dr. Henry Cloud wants to help you take back control of your time and energy. You'll learn powerful strategies to prioritize what matters, set healthy boundaries, and achieve your goals with less stress and more joy. Master Your Time, Master Your Life is a 2 hour workshop that will transform how you use your time. Go to https://www.boundaries.me/time to get a special offer on the upcoming workshop! If you want to call in or watch the show live, subscribe on YouTube and click the Bell icon. It will alert you whenever we go live and will be your cue to call in and ask Dr. Cloud for advice. https://youtube.com/drhenrycloud

Episode 408 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Managing Anxiety with Response Inhibition

Just knowing what gaslighting is can be a big first step to breaking free from it . The problem is that withstanding gaslighting is another matter. Dr. Henry Cloud discusses the concept of gaslighting, a psychological technique used to manipulate and control others by making them question their own reality. He delves into how gaslighters undermine individuals' subjective experience of reality to gain power over them. Dr. Cloud explains the impact of gaslighting on individuals, the vulnerable traits that make someone susceptible to it, and provides tips on how to recognize and deal with gaslighting behavior effectively.   Rachel has been facing lots of challenges accomplishing her goals and has sort of given up. How can she break the habit of feeling stuck?   Tracy and her boyfriend are in couples counseling. He’s been improving but she doesn’t know to what extent. What will it take for her to mend and truly see change in their relationship?  Samantha wants help understanding the boundary between expressing needs and being controlling in her marriage. She fears that it’s turning into a parent-child relationship and wants to get back to being equal adults.   Dr. Henry Cloud wants to help you take back control of your time and energy. You'll learn powerful strategies to prioritize what matters, set healthy boundaries, and achieve your goals with less stress and more joy. Master Your Time, Master Your Life is a 2 hour workshop that will transform how you use your time. Go to https://www.boundaries.me/time to get a special offer on the upcoming workshop! If you want to call in or watch the show live, subscribe on YouTube and click the Bell icon. It will alert you whenever we go live and will be your cue to call in and ask Dr. Cloud for advice. https://youtube.com/drhenrycloud  

Episode 407 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Skills for Handling Gaslighting

You may think you are a separate and free person when you look in the mirror. You’re not physically attached to someone else. As a person connected to others through relationships however you might not be the free and separate person you see in the mirror. Dr. Henry Cloud talks about how so many of us are not free and separate people within our relationships. You might not be in charge of making decisions, someone might be controlling the decisions and behaviors that should be yours! Here’s the question: Right now, do you have any relationships where you don’t experience yourself as free to make your own choices without losing love? Free to make your own choices without a guilt trip being put on you? Free to make your own choices without them pouting and feeling abandoned? Dr. Cloud teaches you ways to start regaining your freedom by using boundaries to limit the control others have over you.    Audience Write-in Question: My boyfriend gets jealous easily, but my friends say that means he really loves me. Is that true, or is this a problem?   Kimberly has a 23 year old son that went through a truly terrible break up. He’s extremely depressed. She and her husband are actively getting them help but they don’t know what to do next.   Sal’s wife wants a divorce. She’s said she doesn’t love him and doesn’t know if she ever really did. What can he do to open up communication and how can he deal with the heartache? Being estranged from someone you once were close to can be a painful reality to live in. Should you reconcile? When? How? How can we fix the pain of estrangement? Does it get easier? What is my role in this process? What is mine to own? What should I do? Dr. Cloud wants to help you navigate this terrain.  Go to https://boundaries.me/reconcile to find out more about the 2 hour live webinar with Dr. Cloud. If you want to call in or watch the show live, subscribe on YouTube and click the Bell icon. It will alert you whenever we go live and will be your cue to call in and ask Dr. Cloud for advice. https://youtube.com/drhenrycloud  

Episode 406 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Becoming a Free and Separate Person

Much of how we bond and attach to others is formed in early childhood. Dr. Henry Cloud shows you how to look at your attachment style and find ways to get to a secure attachment. The attachments you have early on, whether healthy, inconsistent, or toxic, will have a huge affect on you. How do you experience your need for others? This is a critical aspect to how you attach. When your relationship with your needs are filled with conflict your attachment will be unsteady. Dr. Cloud breaks down the contributing factors that lead to secure attachment. This is a big talk, but you’ll understand so much more about how and why you’re having trouble with your attachments.   Audience Question: I suspect my boundaries need some maintenance. What are the signs I can look for that will tell me if I need to set stronger boundaries?   Jackie recently had a second child. Some of the women in her family are critical of her for not losing her baby weight like she did with her first child. How can she get them to drop the subject as it’s not helping and making her not want to see them?   Jacqueline needs to unfriend someone. The silent treatment isn’t working. Is there a good way to break off a friendship and go no-contact?   Being estranged from someone you once were close to can be a painful reality to live in. Should you reconcile? When? How? How can we fix the pain of estrangement? Does it get easier? What is my role in this process? What is mine to own? What should I do? Dr. Cloud wants to help you navigate this terrain.  Go to https://boundaries.me/reconcile to find out more about the 2 hour live webinar with Dr. Cloud. If you want to call in or watch the show live, subscribe on YouTube and click the Bell icon. It will alert you whenever we go live and will be your cue to call in and ask Dr. Cloud for advice. https://youtube.com/drhenrycloud  

Episode 303 - The Dr. Cloud Show Live - Focus On The Inside - 12-21-2021

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