Welcome to the Catskills, where calories don’t count and the only thing richer than the food are the punchlines. As social director of the legendary Concord Hotel—home to the five kosher kitchens and more matzo balls than Lake Kiamesha itself—I quickly learned the three main activities for guests: eating, playing sports, and… well, let’s just say the dance studio got good use.

Guests lined up for lunch with the hope of a free dance lesson and a not-so-subtle nudge: “Now essen, fressen, and take a lesson”—Yiddish for “Eat, eat a lot, and then shake it off on the dance floor.”

I fielded requests for secret recipes, like the chocolate cake one guest thought was worth $50. What she got instead was enough ingredients to feed a small army (or maybe just a hungry Catskill crowd). If the food jokes didn’t fill you up, legend Larry Best would—a man who could make a complaint about small portions into high art.

Nobody could outwit the lady stockpiling rolls—or outfox the maître d’, who finally realized she wasn’t hoarding carbs, but napkins. And if you’re particular about your steak, beware: here, the chef holds your dinner down with his thumb to keep it safely on the plate—practical AND hands-on service!

And no trip down memory lane is complete without a Catskills egg cream—made the right way, with syrup, milk, seltzer, and absolutely no eggs (unless you’re Jerry Lewis and think a glass should feel like sipping a whole candy bar).

In summary: Come for the food, stay for the laughs, and don’t forget the egg cream—just skip the eggs!