The Empathic Leader

This week, we're wrapping up the 3-part empathy toolkit series with the final tool and a deeper conversation about self-awareness, empathy, and understanding ourselves and others. Dr. Melissa brings it all together with tool #3: "Name Their Outcome," the piece that takes empathy from something passive to something active. Learn how naming the real drivers behind someone's actions — fear, legacy, recognition, security — unlocks a whole new level of understanding. Plus, she tackles some tough AMA questions head-on: are we born with sociopathy? Is empathy really "just a female thing"? And why can misplaced compassion actually do more damage than doing nothing at all?

It's an honest episode to close out the season — grab a notebook, because you'll want to try this one yourself.

🎧 Key Topics & Timestamps

03:31 — Tool #3 revealed: "Name Their Outcome" — turning empathy into action

04:01 — What really drives people: fear, legacy, security, recognition

07:25 — Why these three tools work together

08:02 — Applying the toolkit to self-empathy

10:58 — Deep dive: what self-awareness actually means

13:03 — The 4-step process for building self-awareness (reflection, feedback, mindfulness, coaching)

14:29 — A word of caution on using AI for feedback

29:11 — AMA: Is empathy really more of a "female" trait?

31:20 — Wrap-up: "Be the change you want to see"

This week: Try naming your own outcome this week. What's really driving you? Drop it in the comments. I'd love to hear it.

Subscribe to the Show ► @theempathicleader

Grab my #1 bestselling book “The Empathic Leader” here: https://a.co/d/8IfKm3M

Listen in any of your favorite podcast platform:

► APPLE: https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/the-empathic-leader/id1796715528

► SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ChVQGgl5l1jqAfxdoR0EG?si=1wRZC3DbS9KvhLYTggkuhg

► AMAZON: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/0158b2cb-7bec-4135-a2c0-2f594d21109b/the-empathic-leader

CONNECT WITH ME:

► Instagram: @empathyqueen.eq

► Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/eqviaempathy

► LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-melissa-a-robinson-winemiller-author-speaker-trainer/

► About Dr. Robinson-Winemiller:

What do empathy and a treadmill have in common? Both need action to deliver results.

Quiet quitting. Resenteeism. Post-pandemic stress. AI. Modern leaders face challenges unimaginable in the past, and the pace of change is relentless. The old command-and-control leadership style is obsolete. Leaders today must evolve or risk irrelevance. But leadership now goes beyond dashboards and spreadsheets—so, what’s the answer?

Melissa Robinson-Winemiller is the answer. With over 20 years of leadership experience, two doctorates (including one focused on empathy in leadership), an MBA, and multiple certifications in change management and DEI, she helps leaders achieve greater profits, retention, productivity, and innovation.

Her mission? To elevate leadership through the often-overlooked power of EQ and empathy. As a coach and consultant, Melissa draws on expertise, data-driven insights, and proven results to guide leaders through today’s complexities.

► Disclaimer:

This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide professional, medical, or clinical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of a qualified professional or licensed provider with any specific and personal questions you may have regarding personal or professional concerns.

Empathy isn't just a feeling, it's a skill, and this week Dr. Melissa hands you tool #2 in her three-part empathy toolkit: the three words "help me understand." She walks through exactly why those three words work, shares a deeply personal story about losing her mom and feeling unseen in grief, and unpacks the "pit" metaphor for what empathy really looks like in practice. Then she takes on the AMA questions everyone's been asking, including the big one going around right now: can you actually be "too empathetic"? (Spoiler: she's got thoughts on Elon Musk's "suicidal empathy" comment.)

Whether you're leading a team, parenting across generations, or just trying to understand someone you disagree with, this episode gives you a tool you can use today.

Try it this week: Next time you don't understand something, or someone, just say the words: "help me understand." Then stop and listen. Let us know how it goes in the comments.

Subscribe to the Show ► @theempathicleader

Grab my #1 bestselling book “The Empathic Leader” here: https://a.co/d/8IfKm3M

Listen in any of your favorite podcast platform:

► APPLE: https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/the-empathic-leader/id1796715528

► SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ChVQGgl5l1jqAfxdoR0EG?si=1wRZC3DbS9KvhLYTggkuhg

► AMAZON: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/0158b2cb-7bec-4135-a2c0-2f594d21109b/the-empathic-leader

CONNECT WITH ME:

► Instagram: @empathyqueen.eq

► Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/eqviaempathy

► LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-melissa-a-robinson-winemiller-author-speaker-trainer/

► About Dr. Robinson-Winemiller:

What do empathy and a treadmill have in common? Both need action to deliver results.

Quiet quitting. Resenteeism. Post-pandemic stress. AI. Modern leaders face challenges unimaginable in the past, and the pace of change is relentless. The old command-and-control leadership style is obsolete. Leaders today must evolve or risk irrelevance. But leadership now goes beyond dashboards and spreadsheets—so, what’s the answer?

Melissa Robinson-Winemiller is the answer. With over 20 years of leadership experience, two doctorates (including one focused on empathy in leadership), an MBA, and multiple certifications in change management and DEI, she helps leaders achieve greater profits, retention, productivity, and innovation.

Her mission? To elevate leadership through the often-overlooked power of EQ and empathy. As a coach and consultant, Melissa draws on expertise, data-driven insights, and proven results to guide leaders through today’s complexities.

► Disclaimer:

This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide professional, medical, or clinical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of a qualified professional or licensed provider with any specific and personal questions you may have regarding personal or professional concerns.

"The Empathic Leader" podcast presents Empathy in Action: Ask Me Anything with Dr. Melissa Robinson-Winemiller

What does music have to do with empathy? Turns out, a whole lot.

In this episode of Empathy in Action, Dr. Melissa dives into the surprising science behind why a song can transport you back to your childhood bedroom in seconds, why orchestras keep playing the same "greatest hits," and why musicians deliberately write songs to hijack your empathy. Plus, she opens it up to a real AMA, answering listener questions on staying empathetic under work stress, whether empathy and judgment can coexist, and how to hold people accountable without losing your empathy for them.

Grab your headphones (or your old mixtape) and settle in, this one gets personal, nostalgic, and genuinely useful.

Subscribe to the Show ► @theempathicleader

Grab my #1 bestselling book “The Empathic Leader” here: https://a.co/d/8IfKm3M

Listen in any of your favorite podcast platform:

► APPLE: https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/the-empathic-leader/id1796715528

► SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ChVQGgl5l1jqAfxdoR0EG?si=1wRZC3DbS9KvhLYTggkuhg

► AMAZON: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/0158b2cb-7bec-4135-a2c0-2f594d21109b/the-empathic-leader

CONNECT WITH ME:

► Instagram: @empathyqueen.eq

► Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/eqviaempathy

► LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-melissa-a-robinson-winemiller-author-speaker-trainer/

► About Dr. Robinson-Winemiller:

What do empathy and a treadmill have in common? Both need action to deliver results.

Quiet quitting. Resenteeism. Post-pandemic stress. AI. Modern leaders face challenges unimaginable in the past, and the pace of change is relentless. The old command-and-control leadership style is obsolete. Leaders today must evolve or risk irrelevance. But leadership now goes beyond dashboards and spreadsheets—so, what’s the answer?

Melissa Robinson-Winemiller is the answer. With over 20 years of leadership experience, two doctorates (including one focused on empathy in leadership), an MBA, and multiple certifications in change management and DEI, she helps leaders achieve greater profits, retention, productivity, and innovation.

Her mission? To elevate leadership through the often-overlooked power of EQ and empathy. As a coach and consultant, Melissa draws on expertise, data-driven insights, and proven results to guide leaders through today’s complexities.

► Disclaimer:

This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide professional, medical, or clinical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of a qualified professional or licensed provider with any specific and personal questions you may have regarding personal or professional concerns.

"The Empathic Leader" podcast presents Empathy in Action: Ask Me Anything with Dr. Melissa Robinson-Winemiller

What if the most important person to practice empathy with... is yourself?

In this week's episode of Empathy in Action: Ask Me Anything, Dr. Melissa Robinson-Winemiller answers audience questions about one of the most overlooked parts of emotional intelligence: self-empathy.

From understanding why we blame ourselves after difficult experiences to learning how self-awareness shapes the way we connect with others, this conversation explores how empathy begins from the inside out.

Dr. Melissa also dives into questions about empathy and difficult people, why boundaries matter, how repeated behaviors shape who we become, and practical ways to strengthen your empathy every day.

Whether you're a leader, educator, coach, or simply someone looking to build stronger relationships, this episode offers practical insights you can apply immediately.

Join us live every Wednesday at 6 PM ET on LinkedIn for "Empathy in Action: Ask Me Anything" and bring your questions!

Key Topics

03:00 – Why self-empathy is often overlooked

08:03 – Understanding yourself before understanding others

10:10 – Self-awareness and recognizing your own patterns

17:13 – Building empathy as an everyday practice

19:21 – How do you have empathy for someone you don't like?

22:53 – Healthy boundaries and self-empathy

27:48 – Real-world examples of empathy in action

29:26 – Common misconceptions about empathy

31:03 – Final thoughts and where to continue the conversation

Subscribe to the Show ► @theempathicleader

Grab my #1 bestselling book “The Empathic Leader” here: https://a.co/d/8IfKm3M

Listen in any of your favorite podcast platform:

► APPLE: https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/the-empathic-leader/id1796715528

► SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ChVQGgl5l1jqAfxdoR0EG?si=1wRZC3DbS9KvhLYTggkuhg

► AMAZON: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/0158b2cb-7bec-4135-a2c0-2f594d21109b/the-empathic-leader

CONNECT WITH ME:

► Instagram: @empathyqueen.eq

► Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/eqviaempathy

► LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-melissa-a-robinson-winemiller-author-speaker-trainer/

► About Dr. Robinson-Winemiller:

What do empathy and a treadmill have in common? Both need action to deliver results.

Quiet quitting. Resenteeism. Post-pandemic stress. AI. Modern leaders face challenges unimaginable in the past, and the pace of change is relentless. The old command-and-control leadership style is obsolete. Leaders today must evolve or risk irrelevance. But leadership now goes beyond dashboards and spreadsheets—so, what’s the answer?

Melissa Robinson-Winemiller is the answer. With over 20 years of leadership experience, two doctorates (including one focused on empathy in leadership), an MBA, and multiple certifications in change management and DEI, she helps leaders achieve greater profits, retention, productivity, and innovation.

Her mission? To elevate leadership through the often-overlooked power of EQ and empathy. As a coach and consultant, Melissa draws on expertise, data-driven insights, and proven results to guide leaders through today’s complexities.

► Disclaimer:

This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide professional, medical, or clinical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of a qualified professional or licensed provider with any specific and personal questions you may have regarding personal or professional concerns.

Can animals teach us something about empathy?

After returning from an incredible experience speaking at Harvard, Dr. Melissa Robinson-Winemiller is back to answer a fascinating community question: Do animals experience empathy—and what can we learn from them?

From heartwarming airport encounters with a tiny kitten to groundbreaking research on rats, chimpanzees, elephants, dolphins, dogs, and more, this episode explores what science tells us about empathy beyond humans. Along the way, Dr. Melissa explains the difference between emotional and cognitive empathy, why empathy may have evolved in the first place, and how understanding the natural world can make us better leaders, coworkers, and human beings.

If you've ever wondered whether empathy is uniquely human—or whether our animal companions have something to teach us about connection—you won't want to miss this conversation.

Key Topics & Timestamps

04:40 – What does the research actually say about empathy in animals?

05:50 – When scientists discovered empathy in rats

06:00 – Chimpanzees, bonobos, and choosing when to show empathy

10:00 – What elephants, dolphins, and other animals teach us about caring for others

14:30 – Why empathy may be rooted in survival and social connection

19:00 – Lessons humans can learn from the animal kingdom

24:00 – Audience questions and practical takeaways

Subscribe to the Show ► @theempathicleader

Grab my #1 bestselling book “The Empathic Leader” here: https://a.co/d/8IfKm3M

Listen in any of your favorite podcast platform:

► APPLE: https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/the-empathic-leader/id1796715528

► SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ChVQGgl5l1jqAfxdoR0EG?si=1wRZC3DbS9KvhLYTggkuhg

► AMAZON: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/0158b2cb-7bec-4135-a2c0-2f594d21109b/the-empathic-leader

CONNECT WITH ME:

► Instagram: @empathyqueen.eq

► Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/eqviaempathy

► LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-melissa-a-robinson-winemiller-author-speaker-trainer/

► About Dr. Robinson-Winemiller:

What do empathy and a treadmill have in common? Both need action to deliver results.

Quiet quitting. Resenteeism. Post-pandemic stress. AI. Modern leaders face challenges unimaginable in the past, and the pace of change is relentless. The old command-and-control leadership style is obsolete. Leaders today must evolve or risk irrelevance. But leadership now goes beyond dashboards and spreadsheets—so, what’s the answer?

Melissa Robinson-Winemiller is the answer. With over 20 years of leadership experience, two doctorates (including one focused on empathy in leadership), an MBA, and multiple certifications in change management and DEI, she helps leaders achieve greater profits, retention, productivity, and innovation.

Her mission? To elevate leadership through the often-overlooked power of EQ and empathy. As a coach and consultant, Melissa draws on expertise, data-driven insights, and proven results to guide leaders through today’s complexities.

► Disclaimer:

This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide professional, medical, or clinical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of a qualified professional or licensed provider with any specific and personal questions you may have regarding personal or professional concerns.

In this episode of Empathy in Action: Ask Me Anything, Dr. Melissa Robinson-Winemiller tackles a question that so many empathetic people struggle with: how do you navigate relationships, workplaces, and leadership environments when it seems like the people around you don't share your ability to understand others?

Drawing from her doctoral research, leadership interviews, and real-world examples, Melissa explores the many reasons people may appear to lack empathy—from stress and burnout to generational differences, lack of training, organizational pressures, and even Dark Triad personalities. She also shares practical strategies for protecting yourself, understanding motivations, and using empathy as a tool for insight rather than exhaustion.

If you've ever felt frustrated by a difficult boss, a disconnected coworker, an emotionally unavailable family member, or a leader who seems completely out of touch, this conversation will give you a new perspective on what may be happening beneath the surface—and what you can do about it.

Key Topics & Timestamps

1:35 – What do you do when you're surrounded by people who seem to lack empathy?

3:28 – Why empathy starts with asking "why?"

4:40 – Research findings on age, gender, and empathy perceptions

10:45 – Why organizational systems often discourage empathy

14:15 – Cognitive empathy as a leadership tool

20:15 – Leadership burnout and the empathy gap

25:42 – Dark Triad personalities and leadership positions

26:50 – The Gray Rock method explained

27:20 – Using empathy strategically to understand motivations

Subscribe to the Show ► @theempathicleader

Grab my #1 bestselling book “The Empathic Leader” here: https://a.co/d/8IfKm3M

Listen in any of your favorite podcast platform:

► APPLE: https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/the-empathic-leader/id1796715528

► SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ChVQGgl5l1jqAfxdoR0EG?si=1wRZC3DbS9KvhLYTggkuhg

► AMAZON: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/0158b2cb-7bec-4135-a2c0-2f594d21109b/the-empathic-leader

CONNECT WITH ME:

► Instagram: @empathyqueen.eq

► Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/eqviaempathy

► LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-melissa-a-robinson-winemiller-author-speaker-trainer/

► About Dr. Robinson-Winemiller:

What do empathy and a treadmill have in common? Both need action to deliver results.

Quiet quitting. Resenteeism. Post-pandemic stress. AI. Modern leaders face challenges unimaginable in the past, and the pace of change is relentless. The old command-and-control leadership style is obsolete. Leaders today must evolve or risk irrelevance. But leadership now goes beyond dashboards and spreadsheets—so, what’s the answer?

Melissa Robinson-Winemiller is the answer. With over 20 years of leadership experience, two doctorates (including one focused on empathy in leadership), an MBA, and multiple certifications in change management and DEI, she helps leaders achieve greater profits, retention, productivity, and innovation.

Her mission? To elevate leadership through the often-overlooked power of EQ and empathy. As a coach and consultant, Melissa draws on expertise, data-driven insights, and proven results to guide leaders through today’s complexities.

► Disclaimer:

This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide professional, medical, or clinical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of a qualified professional or licensed provider with any specific and personal questions you may have regarding personal or professional concerns.

What if some of the most common beliefs about empathy are completely wrong?

In this episode of Empathy in Action: Ask Me Anything, Dr. Melissa Robinson-Winemiller takes on some of the biggest myths surrounding empathy and leadership. Is empathy all about feelings? Does it make leaders weak? Is it something only women are naturally good at? Can empathy be learned—or are you born with it?

Drawing from her doctoral research, leadership interviews, and audience questions, Melissa unpacks what empathy really is, why it's far more complex than most people realize, and how it impacts leadership, communication, boundaries, emotional intelligence, and human connection.

You'll also hear discussions on intuition, the difference between empathy and sensitivity, healthy boundaries versus barriers, dark triad personalities, the light triad, and why organizations often struggle to maintain empathy as they grow.

Whether you're a leader, entrepreneur, educator, coach, or someone trying to navigate relationships more effectively, this episode offers practical insights and myth-busting perspectives that may completely change how you think about empathy.

Key Topics & Timestamps

02:45 – Myth #1: Empathy is all about feelings

04:41 – Myth #2: Empathy means being overly sensitive

06:23 – Myth #3: Empathy only shows up in difficult situations

07:58 – Myth #4: Empathy is weak and doesn't belong in business

09:32 – Myth #5: Empathy is only for women

11:59 – Myth #6: Empathy equals sensitivity

12:52 – Myth #7: Dark triad personalities can't learn empathy

14:56 – Myth #8: Empathy is natural and can't be developed

16:11 – Myth #9: You can only have empathy for people you like

17:13 – Audience Question: Is empathy just intuition?

19:34 – Boundaries vs. barriers: what's the difference?

23:14 – Audience Question: Can boundaries and barriers work together?

24:05 – Going deeper into the dark triad

26:28 – Introducing the light triad

28:56 – Why larger groups often struggle with empathy

Subscribe to the Show ► @theempathicleader

Grab my #1 bestselling book “The Empathic Leader” here: https://a.co/d/8IfKm3M

Listen in any of your favorite podcast platform:

► APPLE: https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/the-empathic-leader/id1796715528

► SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ChVQGgl5l1jqAfxdoR0EG?si=1wRZC3DbS9KvhLYTggkuhg

► AMAZON: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/0158b2cb-7bec-4135-a2c0-2f594d21109b/the-empathic-leader

CONNECT WITH ME:

► Instagram: @empathyqueen.eq

► Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/eqviaempathy

► LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-melissa-a-robinson-winemiller-author-speaker-trainer/

► About Dr. Robinson-Winemiller:

What do empathy and a treadmill have in common? Both need action to deliver results.

Quiet quitting. Resenteeism. Post-pandemic stress. AI. Modern leaders face challenges unimaginable in the past, and the pace of change is relentless. The old command-and-control leadership style is obsolete. Leaders today must evolve or risk irrelevance. But leadership now goes beyond dashboards and spreadsheets—so, what’s the answer?

Melissa Robinson-Winemiller is the answer. With over 20 years of leadership experience, two doctorates (including one focused on empathy in leadership), an MBA, and multiple certifications in change management and DEI, she helps leaders achieve greater profits, retention, productivity, and innovation.

Her mission? To elevate leadership through the often-overlooked power of EQ and empathy. As a coach and consultant, Melissa draws on expertise, data-driven insights, and proven results to guide leaders through today’s complexities.

► Disclaimer:

This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide professional, medical, or clinical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of a qualified professional or licensed provider with any specific and personal questions you may have regarding personal or professional concerns.

What if everything you thought you knew about empathy was wrong?

In this week's live Ask Me Anything episode, Dr. Melissa Robinson-Winemiller tackles some of the biggest myths surrounding empathy—from the idea that empathy is all about feelings to the belief that it's only for women, too soft for leadership, or something you're simply born with.

Drawing on insights from her doctoral research, leadership interviews, and real-world examples, Melissa breaks down what empathy actually is, why it matters in leadership and business, and how misconceptions about empathy can keep us from using it effectively. Along the way, she answers audience questions about intuition, boundaries, dark empathy, the Dark Triad, and why empathy seems to disappear in large organizations.

If you've ever wondered whether empathy is a skill, a feeling, a leadership advantage, or just another buzzword, this episode is for you.

Empathy isn't weakness. It's not coddling. It's not limited to feelings. And it's certainly not reserved for a select few.

It's a skill. It's a leadership tool. And it's something we can all practice.

Have a question you'd like answered on a future episode? Send Dr. Melissa a DM and your question could be featured in a future live session.

Remember: Keep a cool head and a warm heart.

Subscribe to the Show ► @theempathicleader

Grab my #1 bestselling book “The Empathic Leader” here: https://a.co/d/8IfKm3M

Listen in any of your favorite podcast platform:

► APPLE: https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/the-empathic-leader/id1796715528

► SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ChVQGgl5l1jqAfxdoR0EG?si=1wRZC3DbS9KvhLYTggkuhg

► AMAZON: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/0158b2cb-7bec-4135-a2c0-2f594d21109b/the-empathic-leader

CONNECT WITH ME:

► Instagram: @empathyqueen.eq

► Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/eqviaempathy

► LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-melissa-a-robinson-winemiller-author-speaker-trainer/

► About Dr. Robinson-Winemiller:

What do empathy and a treadmill have in common? Both need action to deliver results.

Quiet quitting. Resenteeism. Post-pandemic stress. AI. Modern leaders face challenges unimaginable in the past, and the pace of change is relentless. The old command-and-control leadership style is obsolete. Leaders today must evolve or risk irrelevance. But leadership now goes beyond dashboards and spreadsheets—so, what’s the answer?

Melissa Robinson-Winemiller is the answer. With over 20 years of leadership experience, two doctorates (including one focused on empathy in leadership), an MBA, and multiple certifications in change management and DEI, she helps leaders achieve greater profits, retention, productivity, and innovation.

Her mission? To elevate leadership through the often-overlooked power of EQ and empathy. As a coach and consultant, Melissa draws on expertise, data-driven insights, and proven results to guide leaders through today’s complexities.

► Disclaimer:

This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide professional, medical, or clinical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of a qualified professional or licensed provider with any specific and personal questions you may have regarding personal or professional concerns.

In this episode of Empathy in Action: Ask Me Anything, Dr. Melissa Robinson-Winemiller explores one of the most overlooked aspects of empathy: self-empathy.

Drawing from personal experiences, leadership research, and audience questions, Dr. Melissa breaks down why self-empathy isn't selfish, why boundaries are essential, and how learning to understand yourself creates the foundation for showing authentic empathy to others.

She also shares the four-step framework for developing self-empathy, explains the difference between empathy, sympathy, compassion, and love, and answers live audience questions about dark empathy, narcissism, self-awareness, leadership, and more.

If you've ever struggled with boundaries, self-criticism, people-pleasing, or giving so much to others that you've left nothing for yourself, this conversation is for you.

Subscribe to the Show ► @theempathicleader

Grab my #1 bestselling book “The Empathic Leader” here: https://a.co/d/8IfKm3M

Listen in any of your favorite podcast platform:

► APPLE: https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/the-empathic-leader/id1796715528

► SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ChVQGgl5l1jqAfxdoR0EG?si=1wRZC3DbS9KvhLYTggkuhg

► AMAZON: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/0158b2cb-7bec-4135-a2c0-2f594d21109b/the-empathic-leader

CONNECT WITH ME:

► Instagram: @empathyqueen.eq

► Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/eqviaempathy

► LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-melissa-a-robinson-winemiller-author-speaker-trainer/

► About Dr. Robinson-Winemiller:

What do empathy and a treadmill have in common? Both need action to deliver results.

Quiet quitting. Resenteeism. Post-pandemic stress. AI. Modern leaders face challenges unimaginable in the past, and the pace of change is relentless. The old command-and-control leadership style is obsolete. Leaders today must evolve or risk irrelevance. But leadership now goes beyond dashboards and spreadsheets—so, what’s the answer?

Melissa Robinson-Winemiller is the answer. With over 20 years of leadership experience, two doctorates (including one focused on empathy in leadership), an MBA, and multiple certifications in change management and DEI, she helps leaders achieve greater profits, retention, productivity, and innovation.

Her mission? To elevate leadership through the often-overlooked power of EQ and empathy. As a coach and consultant, Melissa draws on expertise, data-driven insights, and proven results to guide leaders through today’s complexities.

► Disclaimer:

This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide professional, medical, or clinical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of a qualified professional or licensed provider with any specific and personal questions you may have regarding personal or professional concerns.

In this episode of Empathy in Action: Ask Me Anything, Dr. Melissa Robinson-Winemiller breaks down what boundaries really are — not the vague advice to "just go set some," but the actual research, the five types most people never think about, and a practical three-step framework for putting them in place and actually sticking to them.

She also connects boundaries directly to self-empathy — because it turns out the two are more linked than most people realize. Boundaries without self-empathy, as Melissa puts it, are just rules nobody follows. Including you.

Plus, she answers real audience questions about gaslighting, how to use empathy with someone who has hurt you, and whether being nice has any place in empathy at all. (Spoiler: not really.)

👇 Key Topics & Timestamps

03:45 — The 5 types of boundaries most people never think about

09:50 — The 4 steps of self-empathy

15:35 — The 3-step framework for setting boundaries that hold

18:03 — What's the difference between setting a boundary and just disconnecting?

20:22 — Does being nice have any place in empathy?

21:56 — Does gaslighting fall under performative empathy?

24:03 — How do I use empathy with someone who has hurt me?

29:00 — "Keep a cool head and a warm heart"

Subscribe to the Show ► @theempathicleader

Grab my #1 bestselling book “The Empathic Leader” here: https://a.co/d/8IfKm3M

Listen in any of your favorite podcast platform:

► APPLE: https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/the-empathic-leader/id1796715528

► SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ChVQGgl5l1jqAfxdoR0EG?si=1wRZC3DbS9KvhLYTggkuhg

► AMAZON: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/0158b2cb-7bec-4135-a2c0-2f594d21109b/the-empathic-leader

CONNECT WITH ME:

► Instagram: @empathyqueen.eq

► Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/eqviaempathy

► LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-melissa-a-robinson-winemiller-author-speaker-trainer/

► About Dr. Robinson-Winemiller:

What do empathy and a treadmill have in common? Both need action to deliver results.

Quiet quitting. Resenteeism. Post-pandemic stress. AI. Modern leaders face challenges unimaginable in the past, and the pace of change is relentless. The old command-and-control leadership style is obsolete. Leaders today must evolve or risk irrelevance. But leadership now goes beyond dashboards and spreadsheets—so, what’s the answer?

Melissa Robinson-Winemiller is the answer. With over 20 years of leadership experience, two doctorates (including one focused on empathy in leadership), an MBA, and multiple certifications in change management and DEI, she helps leaders achieve greater profits, retention, productivity, and innovation.

Her mission? To elevate leadership through the often-overlooked power of EQ and empathy. As a coach and consultant, Melissa draws on expertise, data-driven insights, and proven results to guide leaders through today’s complexities.

► Disclaimer:

This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide professional, medical, or clinical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of a qualified professional or licensed provider with any specific and personal questions you may have regarding personal or professional concerns.