Modern parenting is a minefield of anxiety, driven by two conflicting, worldly models. The "Architect" model pushes us to produce successful, high-achieving children, leading to anxiety and burnout. The "Warrior" model pushes us to control our children, leading to fear-based conformity and rebellion.

Both of these models are idolatries. In this episode, Louizandre Dauphin continues the "Redeeming..." series by offering a third, "disarmed" way. We are not called to be Architects or Warriors. We are called to be "Faithful Gardeners." This episode explores how to pivot from the worldly anxiety of production to the faithful, patient, and joyful work of cultivation.

Key Talking Points:

The Two False Gospels of Parenting:

The "Architect": Parenting as performance, optimization, and achievement. It's driven by anxiety and a fear of scarcity.

The "Warrior": Parenting as ideological control, conformity, and indoctrination. It's driven by anger and a fear of the world.

The "Disarmed" Pivot: We are liberated from the crushing burden of production and control. We are not our children's Saviour; Jesus is.

The "Faithful Gardener" Calling: Our job is not to guarantee a harvest but to faithfully tend the soil of our children's hearts.

The Gardener's Practical Work:

Watering the Roots: Cultivating our children's identity in Christ's unconditional love, not in their performance or obedience.

Pruning the Branches: Moving from retributive punishment to restorative discipleship.

Turning the Soil: The power of modelling vulnerability and repentance to keep our children's hearts soft.

The Goal: Shifting our aim from leaving worldly "footprints" (achievements, "wins") to cultivating spiritual "fruit" (love, joy, peace, patience...).

The Liberation: How the Gardener model frees us—the parents—to finally exhale and rest in the sovereignty of God, the true Lord of the Harvest.

Resources Mentioned:

Previous Essay/Episode: "Beyond the Thunderdome: Redeeming Manhood from the Culture War"

Previous Essay/Episode: "The Good Portion: Redeeming Womanhood from the Culture War"

Substack: Read the whole essay and find all of our work.

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