In this honest, funny, and very real conversation, Justin and Sarah sit down with their oldest child, Mackenzie, the one who made them parents and set the curve for everyone who came after.

Born on Sarah’s birthday and right on her due date, Mackenzie talks about what it was really like to grow up as the first of four in a loud, intense, loving house. She shares how school started to fall apart in sixth grade, what it felt like to be “bad at turning things in,” and the huge shift that came when she was finally diagnosed with ADHD in high school.

She remembers demanding sports parents, running gassers, throwing up at practice, sabotaging her own basketball tryout, sneaking out, secret social accounts, and being “the mean big sister” who threatened her siblings to keep quiet. Then she walks through the hard parts of college: flunking out, hiding it, making herself sick with anxiety, fighting her way back in, and eventually graduating on her own terms.

Mackenzie also shares the story of coming out to her parents at a booth in a college bar, what she was most afraid of in that moment, and how that conversation reshaped their family and their expectations. Today, she talks about losing nearly 100 pounds, choosing therapy, working in a therapeutic autism school, and finally feeling at home in her own skin.

It is a story about being the first one through the wall. About messing up, owning it, and trying again. About a kid who grew up in chaos and found a life of purpose, care, and steady joy.

Takeaways & Talking Points:

• What it really feels like to be the oldest in a family of four
• How undiagnosed ADHD shapes school, behavior, and self-worth
• Sports, pressure, and the line between pushing and breaking a kid
• The “full-time job” of parenting a struggling teen, and what Mackenzie remembers
• Sneaking out, getting caught, burner phones, and why she was “bad at being bad”
• Coming out as bisexual to faith-shaped parents, and what everyone had to grieve and reframe
• College probation, reinstatement, and rebuilding trust after hiding the truth
• Finding her way back to special education and discovering work that fits how she is wired
• What it took to change her health, heal her anxiety, and choose movement for herself

Things We’re Learning (and Unlearning):

• Firstborns often carry invisible pressure no one named out loud
• Yelling and grounding can work short term, but shame lingers for years
• Kids are not being “lazy” when their brains are working differently
• Coming out is not just about identity, it is about safety, belonging, and being believed
• Parents have to grieve their expectations so kids can grow into who they really are
• Healing takes time, therapy, and a lot of small, boring choices
• Your child’s path does not have to be linear to be good

Stats Worth Knowing:

• About 1 in 20 children are estimated to have ADHD, and late diagnosis is common, especially for girls
• Roughly 30 percent of first-generation college students leave school within three years, often due to academic and mental health struggles
• More than half of LGBTQ+ young people say family acceptance strongly protects their mental health

This episode is for oldest kids who felt like the family experiment, for parents wondering if they “ruined everything” with their first, and for anyone trying to rebuild trust, identity, and health after a rough start.

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