Sign up to save your podcasts
Or
Share The Fluid Single: When I Finally Stopped Fighting With Myself
Share to email
Share to Facebook
Share to X
Share to email
Share to Facebook
Share to X
Or
The Fluid Single: When I Finally Stopped Fighting With Myself
click the link and send a quick message to grab the latest download mentioned in the show!
There's a space between defending your singlehood and claiming it as permanent.
Where you can say "I'm happy single right now" without the tightness in your chest.
Where you're genuinely open to partnership—but not organizing your life around finding it.
This episode reveals what researchers call "peripheral identity"—and why it might be the most peaceful place you've ever been.
In This Episode:
What peripheral identity actually means (and why "fluid" is the key word)
The difference between positive and negative peripheral identity (both are legitimate)
Gen X data: 64% of singles ages 45-60 say they enjoy being single MORE than being in a relationship
The signs you've shifted: The defensive voice quiets, the comparison stops, and "I'm open to meeting someone" becomes genuinely true instead of defensive
What peripheral identity doesn't question (and why that matters for what comes next)
Key Research:
- Kislev, E. (2023). Singlehood as an identity. Self and Identity
- Thomson-DeVeaux, A. (2023). Americans are increasingly single and OK with it. FiveThirtyEight
- Eck, B. A. (2013). Single straight men negotiating definitions of single life. Symbolic Interaction
You Need This Episode If:
- The defensive voice has quieted but you're not sure what comes next
- You can say "I'm happy single" without needing to convince anyone
- You're genuinely open to partnership but not desperately seeking it
- You want to understand the difference between defensive hedging and authentic openness
The Two Types of Peripheral Identity:
Positive: "I'm single and genuinely content. I'm open to partnership if it shows up naturally, but I'm not holding my breath. My life feels full."
Negative: "I'm single and while I'm not in crisis about it, I do want partnership. I feel like something is missing. I'm working toward changing this, but I'm not panicking."
Both are peripheral. Both are fluid. Both are legitimate.
The difference? Whether you're content with singlehood as it is, or genuinely seeking to change it. But in both cases, the defense has dropped.
Singlehood as authentic identity, not a problem to solve.
Support the show
View all episodes
By Lauren Jeanclick the link and send a quick message to grab the latest download mentioned in the show!
There's a space between defending your singlehood and claiming it as permanent.
Where you can say "I'm happy single right now" without the tightness in your chest.
Where you're genuinely open to partnership—but not organizing your life around finding it.
This episode reveals what researchers call "peripheral identity"—and why it might be the most peaceful place you've ever been.
In This Episode:
What peripheral identity actually means (and why "fluid" is the key word)
The difference between positive and negative peripheral identity (both are legitimate)
Gen X data: 64% of singles ages 45-60 say they enjoy being single MORE than being in a relationship
The signs you've shifted: The defensive voice quiets, the comparison stops, and "I'm open to meeting someone" becomes genuinely true instead of defensive
What peripheral identity doesn't question (and why that matters for what comes next)
Key Research:
- Kislev, E. (2023). Singlehood as an identity. Self and Identity
- Thomson-DeVeaux, A. (2023). Americans are increasingly single and OK with it. FiveThirtyEight
- Eck, B. A. (2013). Single straight men negotiating definitions of single life. Symbolic Interaction
You Need This Episode If:
- The defensive voice has quieted but you're not sure what comes next
- You can say "I'm happy single" without needing to convince anyone
- You're genuinely open to partnership but not desperately seeking it
- You want to understand the difference between defensive hedging and authentic openness
The Two Types of Peripheral Identity:
Positive: "I'm single and genuinely content. I'm open to partnership if it shows up naturally, but I'm not holding my breath. My life feels full."
Negative: "I'm single and while I'm not in crisis about it, I do want partnership. I feel like something is missing. I'm working toward changing this, but I'm not panicking."
Both are peripheral. Both are fluid. Both are legitimate.
The difference? Whether you're content with singlehood as it is, or genuinely seeking to change it. But in both cases, the defense has dropped.
Singlehood as authentic identity, not a problem to solve.
Support the show