Don’t make Assumptions

We all know what they say about making assumptions...if you don’t I’m sure you still can agree that assuming things without knowing the whole truth is silly. Making assumptions is an easy thing to do because most of the time we don’t realize we're making them. Personally, out of every agreement I want to implement this one is my life the most. I catch myself making assumptions about people I’ve never met before, yet getting upset when the same is done to me. Rumors are a huge part of making assumptions. We hear things about other people and just deem the information as true. Rumors are so easy to spread because no one cares enough to check to see if it’s true. I’m sure every person out there who has made it passes middle school knows what it’s like to have rumors spread about them. We hate it when people make assumptions about us, so what right do we have to make assumptions about them? This agreement goes deeper than just rumors and drama. We shouldn’t assume anything; people, the news, politics, celebrities, any information we don’t know for a fact is true. 

The most important thing I hope you take from this agreement is not everyone has the same information or knowledge as you. We can’t always assume someone is going to know what we're talking about, or what we mean by the words we say. I’ve talked a lot about miscommunication on this podcast. The reason being, I think the most important tool we have to maintain healthy relationships (romantically or platonically) is communication. If you’re unsure of something, ask! If you hear a rumor and don’t know if it's true, don’t talk about it! Constantly making assumptions is exactly what makes the media such a toxic thing. People will see or hear a story and believe it because they saw it on a news source. There are so many non reliable sources we listen to and take at face value. I don’t want to get into politics or anything sensitive like that, but a great tip to be sure you're getting reliable information is just to check several different sources. Simple as that! Now that's all good and well with the media, but it's not that simple for things you hear about people. So my tip in that regard is don’t believe and especially don't spread anything you hear about someone if it doesn’t come from them. Also, just don’t talk about issues that don’t concern you. Gossip and rumors have a funny way of getting back to the person, so just be cautious of what you say. One might even say...be impeccable with your words. 

Practicing this agreement successfully is essential to not take things personally in my opinion. Without all the information we make inaccurate assumptions, and that could lead to getting needlessly defensive. I saw this with several of my closest friends a few years ago. Because of a rumor, my friends claimed that they knew I was saying bad things about them, when I really wasn’t. They heard a rumor, made an assumption and acted irrationally because of it, They got offended and upset at me because of inaccurate assumptions and this unfortunately led to a falling out. I’ve also hurt people because of the assumptions I’ve made. I find that after making assumptions people are quick to take those assumptions personally. The worst part is a majority of the time, we don’t even realize we’re doing this. Being aware of assumptions you make and having the mental strength to disregard those assumptions is the best way I’ve found to practice this agreement.