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In this episode, we are exploring the frontlines of youth leadership and fatherhood with a man who has dedicated his life to bridging the generation gap. He is the founder of Generation Youth, an organization committed to empowering young people by equipping the adults in their lives to lead with heart and intentionality. We’re talking about how to build a legacy that outlasts your paycheck and how to unlock the hidden potential in your children by simply turning your heart toward home.
Our guest is James McLamb. James is the founder and CEO of Generation Youth Coaching. he's also an author, podcast host, and youth speaker. His passion is empowering young and strengthening families earning him a reputation as one of America’s foremost experts on youth development.
To connect with James McLamb or learn more about Generation Youth Coaching and their podcast visit: https://www.generation-youth.com/
Follow Generation Youth on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/generationziglar
Follow Generation Youth at: https://www.instagram.com/generation__youth/
Follow James McLamb on LinkedIn at: https://www.linkedin.com/in/james-mclamb-74a72746/
Special thanks to Smile Online Course & Books for sponsoring this episode. To learn more visit: https://thefatherhoodchallenge--smileteenskills.thrivecart.com/social-career-skills-accelerator/
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00:05.34
Jonathan Guerrero
every generation Every generation faces a unique set of challenges, but the fundamental needs of a child remain unchanged. The need for a father who is not just physically present, but emotionally and spiritually engaged.
00:21.08
Jonathan Guerrero
statistic tell us that a sobering so Statistics tell us a sobering story about the gap left behind when fathers are absent. But today, we aren't focused on the problem.
00:33.24
Jonathan Guerrero
We are focused on restoration. There is an ancient mandate that speaks of turning the hearts of fathers to their children, it It's a beautiful image, but in a world of digital distractions and high-pressure careers, how does a modern dad actually make that turn?
00:52.25
Jonathan Guerrero
How do we move from being roommates with our kids to being the mentors and teachers that they desperately need?
00:59.06
James McLamb
Thank you.
01:01.30
Jonathan Guerrero
Today, we are exploring the we are we are exploring the front lines of youth leadership and fatherhood with a man who has dedicated his life to bridging the generational gap. He is the founder of generational Generation Youth, an organization committed to empowering young people by equipping the adults in their lives to lead with a heart and intentional.
01:23.83
Jonathan Guerrero
And intentionally, we're talking about how to build a legacy that outlasts your paycheck and how to unlock the hidden potential in your children by simply turning your heart towards home.
01:44.06
Jonathan Guerrero
And we're going to explore all of this in just a moment, so don't go anywhere.
01:51.22
Jonathan Guerrero
Greetings, everyone. Thank you so much for joining me and my son and co-host Isaac. Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Fatherhood Challenge. The episode title is The Generation Bridge. Joining us is James McLamb.
02:03.10
Jonathan Guerrero
James, your work at Generation Youth sits at the intersection of leadership and legacy. Welcome to the Fatherhood Challenge.
02:10.97
James McLamb
I so appreciate the invitation to join you today, and I'm so so excited about our conversation and sharing our thoughts about fatherhood and and just you and I learning more together with your son as well.
02:24.98
Jonathan Guerrero
So here's my favorite question. What is your favorite dad joke?
02:30.74
James McLamb
Oh, you put me on the spot. i don't... i And I normally have a ah slew of them, but none of them come to mind because I read a an article probably a couple of years ago that said that children whose fathers tell them dad jokes, especially the really embarrassing ones, develop more resilience than those who don't have to live through that. So it's beneficial for your children for their dads to tell them those cringy, sometimes not funny dad jokes. But...
03:04.76
James McLamb
I don't have the joke to come to my head right now. I wish I did, but I gave you a stat instead.
03:11.15
Jonathan Guerrero
That'll work. That's just fine. All right. Well, let's start here. What's your story behind how and why you got involved with generational Generation Youth Coaching?
03:24.41
James McLamb
Well, we saw a need, a desperate need for young people to have empowered adults, adults who had the skills, the understanding, the resources, tools in their toolbox to help them thrive, that could help young people thrive.
03:41.27
James McLamb
We saw that there was a gap there. And that we could help feel that, that we could pour into adults who care about those who want to help coaching and that we could equip them with the skills, the resources, the mindset, the tools they needed to make this happen.
03:58.14
James McLamb
So we started Generation Youth Coaching Program. Generation Youth as an organization has been around well over a decade, but the the coaching portion has really been with us the last six years.
04:12.44
Jonathan Guerrero
Let's start here. what is um When you talk about... Give a sec. Isaac, it's you. Go ahead.
04:22.81
Jonathan Guerrero
Okay, yeah. Sorry. you When you talk about turning the hearts of fathers, what is the biggest wall what is the biggest what is the biggest wall you see standing in the way of the...
04:39.96
Jonathan Guerrero
and of that connection. Connection today.
04:45.11
James McLamb
the The biggest and problem with with fathers connecting with young people today...
04:52.28
Jonathan Guerrero
Yes.
04:53.91
James McLamb
Well, I think a lot of it is because many fathers believe that they can have more influence later, that when their child is older, when the conversations are more rational, when the expectations that they have of their children can finally be enforced, they want to step in then. So they're missing out on the fact that you need to start building that relationship very early. Yeah.
05:17.24
James McLamb
Influence doesn't start in the teenage years. It starts with a relationship that you build long before that as you're engaging with them. Because the simple truth of this is that i young people don't listen to logic. They listen to people they feel close to.
05:36.98
James McLamb
So if a father is waiting until their child is in the teenage years where they start to feel comfortable to be around them, then they've lost some of that closeness that they can build, that connection they can build with it.
05:49.62
James McLamb
So the biggest obstacle is really equipping those parents, those those fathers with those with that mindset of, I need to be involved with my child from day one in some capacity so that we can build this relationship.
06:06.31
Jonathan Guerrero
Now, actually thinking of that, when you were talking there, I was actually kind of thinking, because, like, we have two cats back at our home. And we've had them since they were very, very little. That was actually my birthday present um last year. But actually, they're just these little, little kit cat cats back then.
06:24.38
Jonathan Guerrero
And... um It just kind of reminded me because, like, you got to build a relationship with them when they're young. This way, like, now they're really dependent on us. Now they trust us. And now they're these um much bigger cats. They're still only about a year old. But that's just what they remind me of. Like, you got to build a relationship young.
06:43.25
James McLamb
That's a great point. and And to be able to connect with them. Because when fathers don't participate early and don't build that connection early, the fathers may not feel emotionally close to their child. They they may not be experienced as really an authority figure in the child's life. And and sometimes they are even really liked in kind of a relational issue. So they we need to really ah pour into that that aspect of them when they're growing.
07:15.86
Jonathan Guerrero
James, you work with you work with with leaders and youth on on on a global scale. Why is it that many men can can lead a boardroom or a job site or a job site with a to total confidence but feel completely out of their depth when when it comes to leading the hearts of their own children?
07:41.91
James McLamb
What an interesting question, and I love the way you framed it in that talking about how men feel more competent in their careers than they do as fathers. And to think about that, the first thing that comes to mind is we most men, when they're leading in the boardroom or they're entrepreneurs, they spent years pouring into the personal development of themselves and to become better at that, whether it is through a degree or some kind of formal education related to that career, or maybe it's having a mentor that's guiding them through this, taking experience slow. You know, we don't get, we don't come out of school and then immediately become the CEO of something. We, we, we gradually build up to that. So there's a, there's a,
08:28.30
James McLamb
acclimation to the role time that they have. It takes them time to get there. That doesn't happen with fatherhood. For a lot of fathers, you're thrust into this almost immediately. You really don't have any preparation unless you've been actively doing some kind of parenting classes or connecting with men through your through churches or ministry that can pour into you, most fathers do not have any kind of understanding of what's happening in their child, what does the child need from me as it c grows, and how do I do that?
09:01.14
James McLamb
Most of us base our parenting style on how we were parenting. That'll influence you in a positive or a negative way. And when it's a negative way, it may be that you saw how there were things lacking or in some cases the the things that were wrong about the way you were parented from your father and you want to change it.
09:21.24
James McLamb
Or a negative way in that they didn't really do anything and you thought, well, that's the way that it's supposed to be done. So whatever it is, you're influenced by how you were parented unless you are intentional about about seeking out the best information available to you so that you can be an effective parent?
09:42.62
Jonathan Guerrero
Every successful organization has a vision. If a father were to sit down today and write a mission statement for his family, what are the three non-negotiable pillars you believe should be in that mission statement?
09:57.53
James McLamb
Well, I'm going to say it from my perspective. we What we did, we we did a family mission statement Oh, gosh. This was probably 10 years ago. So our youngest was five, six years old at the time. And the older one was 15, 16 at the time.
10:17.91
James McLamb
It may have been actually a little bit before then, but I think that's about the right time frame. like They could have been a little bit younger. And we sat down to write what and who the MacLam family is. What do we want to represent and what do we want to be?
10:33.75
James McLamb
And so the things that were non-negotiable for us is that we wanted to be a family that the glory of Christ in our lives shone so that others could see Christ in us and be drawn to him. Didn't say we were going be perfect. Did not say we weren't going to make mistakes, but that we wanted our lives, our actions that we do to glorify God in that. So that would frame the decisions we made.
10:56.82
James McLamb
If we had to choose to be on this sports team and it caused us to be away from church on Sundays, well, that's not bringing glory to Christ. We may need to choose something else. It gave us a filter to make all the decisions. This is what we're going to do.
11:08.95
James McLamb
The second major thing that we put down as one of our pillars, where is that we were going to be there for each other and support each other no matter what.
11:19.83
James McLamb
That if unless there was a physical reason why we could not support someone, maybe we were, you know away out of the state or just not available. We were going to be there for each other.
11:31.51
James McLamb
So much so that and my daughter, my youngest daughter, got a small bit part in a school play a couple of seasons ago as she was just building. You know she was young, one of the youngest in there.
11:44.22
James McLamb
And I was like, I don't know the oldest two and the oldest one was ah my oldest daughter is married now. I don't know know if the oldest two and and the spouse would love to come to this. This may be boring for them. and we said we'll just send it out and they can come find it they're not fine my youngest was fine if they didn't because she says i have a little part and both of my oldest two children and my daughter and my son they both responded very quickly yeah we'll be there we'll be there to support her we'll do the things for her and they came and i knew they were bored through most of it because she wasn't on the stage but they were there to support each other so the second pillar is that we're going to be there to support each other the first one is is that we're gonna look to look at to glorify God in all that we do. And the third one is is that we as a family are going to seek opportunities to grow spiritually together, to grow ah mentally together, and to grow physically together. So that we look for opportunities to do physical activities and work out together, whether it's going to the gym together or hiking together or playing games outside together.
12:45.85
James McLamb
We look for opportunities to grow mentally. We might read a book together or talk about a class that we've taken or you know engage in those. And most of all, we are very intentional on setting aside times to not only worship together by going to church, but having prayer time and devotion time separately, especially around Christmas. That's a non-negotiable for us. We do Advent as a family. And it's it's a it's a set part, and the and the children know it. They count on it, and they look forward to it.
13:18.62
Jonathan Guerrero
Absolutely love that. I love how connected you guys are as a family in doing things together and supporting each other's activities. That is so, so cool. You're building your own culture.
13:31.50
James McLamb
And it's not easy, but as you and I discussed yesterday, when we're looking at intentional is the word that we really have to focus on, that we have to be intentional about what we're doing. knowing that if we are not intentionally setting aside this as a priority, something will find a way to bump it.
13:51.45
James McLamb
If we're just saying, hey, it's going to happen, it's always happened, we don't have to worry about it, then something will find a way to mess it up. So we have to be intentional about how we do this.
14:02.62
Jonathan Guerrero
The mission, statement, and purpose of the fatherhood challenge is based on Malachi 4.6, which is turning the hearts of fathers to their children. The phrase turning the hearts implies a change in direction. In your experience, what is the most common distraction that keeps a father's heart turned toward his career or his phone rather than his kids?
14:25.46
James McLamb
Let's just examine the career first. The the career thing is it is man's drive to achieve, man's drive to overcome, man's drive to succeed, and that our value and self-worth many times is based on what we do or how we perceive ourselves is based on what we do and how we feel about ourselves based on our performance. So being a part of a career, we want to be respected and appreciated and valued for this. So that's why we dive into that.
14:54.10
James McLamb
because you know We want to provide for our family. We feel like all these things that that we have on our shoulders, the weight we have on our shoulders, some of those can be answered if we dive into our career.
15:06.52
Jonathan Guerrero
o
15:06.62
James McLamb
when When a child a child spells love, especially in regard to their parents, In T-I-M-E. That's how they spell love.
15:16.47
Jonathan Guerrero
yep
15:17.02
James McLamb
They want their time. They don't want your resources. They'd rather have you be with them in some way another. So the career is that drive that we have. When you're talking about social media, I think it's a total, and you're doom scrolling on your phone.
15:36.02
James McLamb
I know for a fact that we are fighting a battle with every tech company who has set up a platform. Their desire is to keep you on that platform as long as possible so they can make money selling ads or or whatever, however they'd have their revenue streams. It's all based on time on. So,
15:56.95
James McLamb
Most of us, and myself included in this, it's taken me years to understand this, completely completely most of us jump into these types of apps, social media, any kind of doom scrolling on this with the aspect of, oh, it's just light entertainment.
16:13.55
James McLamb
But something that's designed to continue to pull you in, if you're not, if you don't know that, You will get sucked into it. And before you know, you've been sitting there next to your children for an hour and a half looking at your phone while they're just, you know, glancing at you, glancing at the television, glancing at whatever, you know, screen that they have.
16:36.54
James McLamb
And their desire is that time with you. And you've been sucked in by someone whose total reason for building their thing is to grab your time and keep your attention so they can make money off of it.
16:51.62
Jonathan Guerrero
That's a sobering way to put it. your Your kids are right in front of you. They are real. They are they are what's real.
16:57.78
James McLamb
Okay.
16:59.22
Jonathan Guerrero
And they care about you. You're supposed to care about them. But you're you're devoting your time and your loyalty to some stranger you can't even see that just wants to make money off of you, could frankly care less about you, doesn't know you, doesn't care. They're just trying to make money.
17:18.71
Jonathan Guerrero
um that's That's sobering.
17:22.49
James McLamb
But it's ah it's just a fact, and we're beginning to see this more. there are There are lawsuits now that are in effect, some court cases that have been recently decided against Snapchat and TikTok that is showing that the the people behind these apps, they know that they're doing this to children, and so they're getting sued on that, but the effect is even greater for us. We've created this world, Jonathan, that we thought was going to be amazing.
17:51.93
James McLamb
And we have not fully understood the implications of everything we've created and what is what's it doing to us. And it's coming so fast, we don't even know. And as a result, we got dads who are choosing careers or or trying to stay up with this fast-moving world or doom-scrolling and staring at their phones all the time. And they're not they're not getting involved with their young people.
18:18.65
James McLamb
um As much as they want to. They're not getting involved with their child, not getting involved with their team and not participating in this. It comes with a cost.
18:29.69
James McLamb
And these fathers are going to pay for this themselves. They'll pay for it in a way of maybe having a relationship that never really forms. a connection that they they can't demand later.
18:40.89
James McLamb
Hey, I want you to come and connect with me and do stuff with me. I'd love to be able to be there. Well, you weren't there with me when I was 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, and now you want me now? What's what's the deal here? I don't understand.
18:53.88
James McLamb
Those things happen. No amount of success or authority or good intentions can replace that loss.
19:03.10
Jonathan Guerrero
And I also noticed there while you're talking, I think anyone else could also pick this up too, but just based on what what on I can weigh in for this is what I noticed is that um you were saying that like, you know, they're just sitting here scrolling on their phone and their kids are just right there.
19:17.82
Jonathan Guerrero
Like they're just right there. That means, and that means that they rather, they rather spend time on their phone. They rather just spend time just sitting there then they'd rather do that than spended time than spend time with their kid.
19:33.27
Jonathan Guerrero
I mean, that's just...
19:36.30
Jonathan Guerrero
That's just sad. Really?
19:37.69
James McLamb
Well, here here's an example that I fight, ah you know, weekly. So I go and pick up my daughter from school, and it's about a 15-minute drive, you know with traffic and stuff to the school for me to get her. So i'm I'm listening to a podcast.
19:52.15
James McLamb
Maybe I'm listening to the Fatherhood Challenge podcast, but I'm listening to a podcast on the way over there. And sometimes I get really involved in, especially if they're story driven type podcasts. And I'm like, oh, what's going to happen next? This is really well we're written. I want to hear the next thing.
20:06.42
James McLamb
Well, as soon as my daughter gets in the vehicle, I cut it off. I have to do that because one day I didn't think about that. And I left it on because I was really involved with what was happening on podcast. And when we got almost home, I realized that she and I hadn't even said anything to each other.
20:22.30
James McLamb
We had a 15 minute ride. She was being respectful that I was listening to something. I was so engrossed in it. I didn't realize what I was doing. So now I have to be intentional. Cut it off. Let's talk.
20:33.21
James McLamb
How's things going today? What was new is exciting at school? How are your friends doing? yeah Trying to probe and and find out what's going on maybe Maybe I'll get that dad joke out of my pocket and and throw it out there too. Hey, you heard a new joke? yeah Whatever it is.
20:49.38
James McLamb
I have to be intentional about it
20:52.15
Jonathan Guerrero
So dads, this is your cue right now. If you're listening to this podcast or if you're listening to this on the radio right now and your kids are with you in this moment, turn it off.
21:05.82
Jonathan Guerrero
You can always listen to it later. That's why it's a podcast. So if you miss it on the radio, you can always catch it on... ah Spotify, you can catch it on Apple Podcasts later. Pick up this episode where you left off and listen to it as many times as you want to.
21:20.66
Jonathan Guerrero
But right now, drop what you're doing. And James just gave you some simple tips to ask. Start doing that right now. So that's that's your cue. That's step number one.
21:33.94
Jonathan Guerrero
Changing gears a little bit, there's a difference between authority and influence. You can comment on a child's, you can command a child's obedience, but how do you win their influence? What's the secret sauce for getting a child to want to follow their father's lead?
21:51.56
James McLamb
I think a father needs to be present and willing to share vulnerability at the appropriate level, depending on their age. So and what I mean by that is they need to show up just like we're talking now, not doom scroll, be there in their lives, attend to things that are going on, ask them questions about what's happening, just spending that time there to to engage in them.
22:17.26
James McLamb
Proximity does not mean Engagement. Just because you're in the same room does not mean you're actually there. I coached baseball for long for many years. My son was on the team for for several years. And I distinctly remember seeing fathers come to the game, sit at their chair, their folding chair, so they could watch the game.
22:38.20
James McLamb
And poppping you know first thing is, is they got on their phone or they started doing something else, maybe talking to friends, and never engaged with their child. Never engaged. So If you want to build that influence, you've got to be present.
22:51.90
James McLamb
Second is you've got to be vulnerable to the level that's appropriate to them. What that means is is that you need to be willing to share your mistakes, your accidents, so that they understand my dad is someone who may not be perfect in everything he does, but gosh, doesn't he try hard? And look at the things that he's succeeding at over here.
23:13.21
James McLamb
they'll see things that they'll see things to them that are success that you will not even consider successes. You know, little things. You know, very early on, I remember my father taking me to work on, and we owned a farm to work on, certain of the mechanical things around the farm. He was not very mechanically minded, but there were certain things he had learned to do. Well, I thought he was a master mechanic on tractors just because what he could simply do. Now, it was only later that I realized, oh, that really wasn't that big a deal. But as a four or five year old, that was that was amazing to me. So when he encouraged me later to take advantage of this,
23:50.58
James McLamb
The influence was there because I recognized to to me, he could do this. He has demonstrated this to me. He's shown me his vulnerability when he failed on stuff. I think I can do this as well.
24:04.31
Jonathan Guerrero
Generation youth is all about potential. What is the one thing a father can do or say every single day to ensure he is watering the seeds of his child's unique gifts rather than trying to mold them into the mini version of himself?
24:22.20
James McLamb
Well, if you ask this question almost to anyone, I think the answer that you're going to get is they need to show up and be sincere and saying that I love you. That is going to be that process ah of letting them know that I have a shadow of doubt. My son's 23 years old.
24:38.17
James McLamb
While I'm sitting here talking to you, 22 years old, I'll be 23 in a month. While I'm sitting here talking to you, I saw a message flash up across my screen as as it's connected to text.
24:49.78
James McLamb
that he's texting me about something. So, you know, I show up and and tell him I love him. Two is You need to tell him that how proud you are, not how proud you are necessarily of him, but how proud you are to be his dad.
25:07.10
James McLamb
That is the greatest thing, at Joy, is to be his dad. Because what that does, when you say, I am proud of being your dad, what that says to him is no matter what I am, who how successful I am, he still loves me. He's still proud of me.
25:22.10
James McLamb
If you phrase it sometimes, I'm proud of you, it could be interpreted, not all the time, but it could be interpreted by the young person to say, they're only proud of me based on what I do. They're proud of me at this moment.
25:36.34
James McLamb
I'm proud of how you did, you know, what you're doing. this Those are all positive statements. But being able to say, I'm so proud of to be your dad. Look at what you... Look at look at look at how great this is is for me. I love this. It's going to put it back to them saying, my dad just loves me and proud of me no matter what.
25:56.98
Jonathan Guerrero
I think you just mentioned something super important, and that is don't just teach them to associate that value. Don't just teach them to associate that value with um with success. In other words, don't let them think that I'm only proud of you when you're doing well, when you're achieving and you're making me proud of you because of what you've accomplished.
26:23.27
Jonathan Guerrero
But that pride in your child, that love is unconditional, meaning when you fail to, when things don't go as planned, when you do something, even do something wrong, when you make mistakes, that love never changes. That pride in in your child never changes regardless. there's just It's the same. and i we just You and I did an episode together where we talked about the image of God.
26:51.58
Jonathan Guerrero
And those two are so connected. The image of God, meaning our relationship with God, how we perceive God is hardwired into how we perceive our relationship with our own dad. And it works the other way, too. They're so interchangeable.
27:08.82
Jonathan Guerrero
And this is why that those what you just said becomes so important We have to have, we are wired, we need that approval, whether we succeed or whether we fail.
27:24.37
James McLamb
I so much agree on that. They need to understand that. And that's that's mimicking our Heavenly Father. he's not He does not love us because of what we do. He loves us because we are, just because we are His child and we he He loves us. And we need to mimic that. We need to model that.
27:43.35
James McLamb
And I guess in some ways we need to, as Christians, as men as well, we need to really process that and and believe that ourselves. That that is a an issue I think that happens quite too often is that we don't we don't really believe it.
28:02.78
James McLamb
You know, we say we that we believe that our Heavenly Father loves us, but we don't act like it or we don't um we don't show it in our lives. And therefore, it's hard for us then to model that to our children as well. So we really need to process that part as well.
28:21.91
Jonathan Guerrero
You are big on legacy. when you look at the work when When you look at the work that you do, how much of it is about fixing the present and how much of it is about pre-fixing the lives of grandchildren that you haven't even met yet?
28:37.43
James McLamb
Well, I think it's ah it's a foundational lay-in. you know As a farm kid, as a guy who grew up in agricultural setting, you're always you always understand the concept of you're planting seeds now to harvest later.
28:48.63
James McLamb
And that is a great extent of what we do as parents and grandparents, is you're planting positive seeds now. You're planting spiritual seeds now that may not be harvested until long past your direct in-person influence.
29:05.78
James McLamb
but you can have such a significant influence. I mean, we've had research, if if if you don't want to listen to us talk about these platitudes of of of influencing children, there is research that has shown that of how men who have had values and have concentrated their things in life in positive ways, how their children and their offspring for generations have prospered versus men who rejected anything of value, ejected anything that's related to God in their lives have had horrible lives and their offspring were even worse in their, in the way they live. So it is, we are planning for our future. We are not only ours, but our grandchildren as well.
29:52.02
James McLamb
Um, I think of that quite a bit for my own father. I think he is at the point now where he starts to realize my greatest influence may not be in my directly my two children, but it may be my grandchildren.
30:11.38
Jonathan Guerrero
To the dad listening who feels like the bridge is already burned, maybe his kids are older or the silence has grown too loud. What is the first step he can take this week to start the turning process?
30:26.46
James McLamb
Well, be present. Be present not just in proximity, but in mind and spirit. Engage with them if they're coming from a place where they have been neglectful.
30:40.25
James McLamb
And it is known that they have been neglectful. It is obvious that they have not done these things. Be vulnerable to say, hey, I made a mistake. I was wrong. I was not engaging with you as much as hand. This is what we're looking at going forward. This is what we hope to do going forward.
31:01.30
Jonathan Guerrero
As we close, can't can dads connect with you? oh how can dads connect with you and find and find your podcast or learn more about Generation Youth Coaching?
31:07.19
James McLamb
We would...
31:17.30
James McLamb
Well, we would love for them to visit us. The easiest place to do is to go to our website, which is generation-youth, not the word dash, but a dash, Generation-youth.com. On that website, they'll be able to find sections for coaching, sections for the podcast, links to our substack where we write a lot of articles that are related to this and share other thoughts on this. So if they go to generation-youth.com, they'll find all that information. Plus they can find the direct links to our social media sites there as well. So they can DM us there or email us.
31:54.84
Jonathan Guerrero
And just to make things easier, if you go to thefatherhoodchallenge.com, that's thefatherhoodchallenge.com. If you go to this episode and you're looking for the episode called The Generation Bridge, The Generation Bridge, go to that episode, look right below the episode description, and i will have all of the the links that James just mentioned posted right there for your convenience.
32:20.89
Jonathan Guerrero
James, this has been a powerful, a very deep conversation. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with us. And thank you so much for sharing Generation Youth with us, what what this organization does and what this can do for dads. Isaac, do you have any closing thoughts?
32:43.50
Jonathan Guerrero
You're thinking?
32:46.20
Jonathan Guerrero
Yeah, hold on. he Any closing thoughts? Still thinking home.
33:00.92
Jonathan Guerrero
All right. That's okay. All right. Well, we'll wrap here. This is a good place to wrap up. James, thank you so much.
33:09.40
James McLamb
Thank you for your time. Thank you, Isaac and Jonathan, for the for this conversation. I do appreciate it and so support the mission of the Fatherhood Challenge.
By Jonathan GuerreroIn this episode, we are exploring the frontlines of youth leadership and fatherhood with a man who has dedicated his life to bridging the generation gap. He is the founder of Generation Youth, an organization committed to empowering young people by equipping the adults in their lives to lead with heart and intentionality. We’re talking about how to build a legacy that outlasts your paycheck and how to unlock the hidden potential in your children by simply turning your heart toward home.
Our guest is James McLamb. James is the founder and CEO of Generation Youth Coaching. he's also an author, podcast host, and youth speaker. His passion is empowering young and strengthening families earning him a reputation as one of America’s foremost experts on youth development.
To connect with James McLamb or learn more about Generation Youth Coaching and their podcast visit: https://www.generation-youth.com/
Follow Generation Youth on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/generationziglar
Follow Generation Youth at: https://www.instagram.com/generation__youth/
Follow James McLamb on LinkedIn at: https://www.linkedin.com/in/james-mclamb-74a72746/
Special thanks to Smile Online Course & Books for sponsoring this episode. To learn more visit: https://thefatherhoodchallenge--smileteenskills.thrivecart.com/social-career-skills-accelerator/
Create your podcast today! #madeonzencastr
https://zencastr.com/?via=thefatherhoodchallenge
00:05.34
Jonathan Guerrero
every generation Every generation faces a unique set of challenges, but the fundamental needs of a child remain unchanged. The need for a father who is not just physically present, but emotionally and spiritually engaged.
00:21.08
Jonathan Guerrero
statistic tell us that a sobering so Statistics tell us a sobering story about the gap left behind when fathers are absent. But today, we aren't focused on the problem.
00:33.24
Jonathan Guerrero
We are focused on restoration. There is an ancient mandate that speaks of turning the hearts of fathers to their children, it It's a beautiful image, but in a world of digital distractions and high-pressure careers, how does a modern dad actually make that turn?
00:52.25
Jonathan Guerrero
How do we move from being roommates with our kids to being the mentors and teachers that they desperately need?
00:59.06
James McLamb
Thank you.
01:01.30
Jonathan Guerrero
Today, we are exploring the we are we are exploring the front lines of youth leadership and fatherhood with a man who has dedicated his life to bridging the generational gap. He is the founder of generational Generation Youth, an organization committed to empowering young people by equipping the adults in their lives to lead with a heart and intentional.
01:23.83
Jonathan Guerrero
And intentionally, we're talking about how to build a legacy that outlasts your paycheck and how to unlock the hidden potential in your children by simply turning your heart towards home.
01:44.06
Jonathan Guerrero
And we're going to explore all of this in just a moment, so don't go anywhere.
01:51.22
Jonathan Guerrero
Greetings, everyone. Thank you so much for joining me and my son and co-host Isaac. Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Fatherhood Challenge. The episode title is The Generation Bridge. Joining us is James McLamb.
02:03.10
Jonathan Guerrero
James, your work at Generation Youth sits at the intersection of leadership and legacy. Welcome to the Fatherhood Challenge.
02:10.97
James McLamb
I so appreciate the invitation to join you today, and I'm so so excited about our conversation and sharing our thoughts about fatherhood and and just you and I learning more together with your son as well.
02:24.98
Jonathan Guerrero
So here's my favorite question. What is your favorite dad joke?
02:30.74
James McLamb
Oh, you put me on the spot. i don't... i And I normally have a ah slew of them, but none of them come to mind because I read a an article probably a couple of years ago that said that children whose fathers tell them dad jokes, especially the really embarrassing ones, develop more resilience than those who don't have to live through that. So it's beneficial for your children for their dads to tell them those cringy, sometimes not funny dad jokes. But...
03:04.76
James McLamb
I don't have the joke to come to my head right now. I wish I did, but I gave you a stat instead.
03:11.15
Jonathan Guerrero
That'll work. That's just fine. All right. Well, let's start here. What's your story behind how and why you got involved with generational Generation Youth Coaching?
03:24.41
James McLamb
Well, we saw a need, a desperate need for young people to have empowered adults, adults who had the skills, the understanding, the resources, tools in their toolbox to help them thrive, that could help young people thrive.
03:41.27
James McLamb
We saw that there was a gap there. And that we could help feel that, that we could pour into adults who care about those who want to help coaching and that we could equip them with the skills, the resources, the mindset, the tools they needed to make this happen.
03:58.14
James McLamb
So we started Generation Youth Coaching Program. Generation Youth as an organization has been around well over a decade, but the the coaching portion has really been with us the last six years.
04:12.44
Jonathan Guerrero
Let's start here. what is um When you talk about... Give a sec. Isaac, it's you. Go ahead.
04:22.81
Jonathan Guerrero
Okay, yeah. Sorry. you When you talk about turning the hearts of fathers, what is the biggest wall what is the biggest what is the biggest wall you see standing in the way of the...
04:39.96
Jonathan Guerrero
and of that connection. Connection today.
04:45.11
James McLamb
the The biggest and problem with with fathers connecting with young people today...
04:52.28
Jonathan Guerrero
Yes.
04:53.91
James McLamb
Well, I think a lot of it is because many fathers believe that they can have more influence later, that when their child is older, when the conversations are more rational, when the expectations that they have of their children can finally be enforced, they want to step in then. So they're missing out on the fact that you need to start building that relationship very early. Yeah.
05:17.24
James McLamb
Influence doesn't start in the teenage years. It starts with a relationship that you build long before that as you're engaging with them. Because the simple truth of this is that i young people don't listen to logic. They listen to people they feel close to.
05:36.98
James McLamb
So if a father is waiting until their child is in the teenage years where they start to feel comfortable to be around them, then they've lost some of that closeness that they can build, that connection they can build with it.
05:49.62
James McLamb
So the biggest obstacle is really equipping those parents, those those fathers with those with that mindset of, I need to be involved with my child from day one in some capacity so that we can build this relationship.
06:06.31
Jonathan Guerrero
Now, actually thinking of that, when you were talking there, I was actually kind of thinking, because, like, we have two cats back at our home. And we've had them since they were very, very little. That was actually my birthday present um last year. But actually, they're just these little, little kit cat cats back then.
06:24.38
Jonathan Guerrero
And... um It just kind of reminded me because, like, you got to build a relationship with them when they're young. This way, like, now they're really dependent on us. Now they trust us. And now they're these um much bigger cats. They're still only about a year old. But that's just what they remind me of. Like, you got to build a relationship young.
06:43.25
James McLamb
That's a great point. and And to be able to connect with them. Because when fathers don't participate early and don't build that connection early, the fathers may not feel emotionally close to their child. They they may not be experienced as really an authority figure in the child's life. And and sometimes they are even really liked in kind of a relational issue. So they we need to really ah pour into that that aspect of them when they're growing.
07:15.86
Jonathan Guerrero
James, you work with you work with with leaders and youth on on on a global scale. Why is it that many men can can lead a boardroom or a job site or a job site with a to total confidence but feel completely out of their depth when when it comes to leading the hearts of their own children?
07:41.91
James McLamb
What an interesting question, and I love the way you framed it in that talking about how men feel more competent in their careers than they do as fathers. And to think about that, the first thing that comes to mind is we most men, when they're leading in the boardroom or they're entrepreneurs, they spent years pouring into the personal development of themselves and to become better at that, whether it is through a degree or some kind of formal education related to that career, or maybe it's having a mentor that's guiding them through this, taking experience slow. You know, we don't get, we don't come out of school and then immediately become the CEO of something. We, we, we gradually build up to that. So there's a, there's a,
08:28.30
James McLamb
acclimation to the role time that they have. It takes them time to get there. That doesn't happen with fatherhood. For a lot of fathers, you're thrust into this almost immediately. You really don't have any preparation unless you've been actively doing some kind of parenting classes or connecting with men through your through churches or ministry that can pour into you, most fathers do not have any kind of understanding of what's happening in their child, what does the child need from me as it c grows, and how do I do that?
09:01.14
James McLamb
Most of us base our parenting style on how we were parenting. That'll influence you in a positive or a negative way. And when it's a negative way, it may be that you saw how there were things lacking or in some cases the the things that were wrong about the way you were parented from your father and you want to change it.
09:21.24
James McLamb
Or a negative way in that they didn't really do anything and you thought, well, that's the way that it's supposed to be done. So whatever it is, you're influenced by how you were parented unless you are intentional about about seeking out the best information available to you so that you can be an effective parent?
09:42.62
Jonathan Guerrero
Every successful organization has a vision. If a father were to sit down today and write a mission statement for his family, what are the three non-negotiable pillars you believe should be in that mission statement?
09:57.53
James McLamb
Well, I'm going to say it from my perspective. we What we did, we we did a family mission statement Oh, gosh. This was probably 10 years ago. So our youngest was five, six years old at the time. And the older one was 15, 16 at the time.
10:17.91
James McLamb
It may have been actually a little bit before then, but I think that's about the right time frame. like They could have been a little bit younger. And we sat down to write what and who the MacLam family is. What do we want to represent and what do we want to be?
10:33.75
James McLamb
And so the things that were non-negotiable for us is that we wanted to be a family that the glory of Christ in our lives shone so that others could see Christ in us and be drawn to him. Didn't say we were going be perfect. Did not say we weren't going to make mistakes, but that we wanted our lives, our actions that we do to glorify God in that. So that would frame the decisions we made.
10:56.82
James McLamb
If we had to choose to be on this sports team and it caused us to be away from church on Sundays, well, that's not bringing glory to Christ. We may need to choose something else. It gave us a filter to make all the decisions. This is what we're going to do.
11:08.95
James McLamb
The second major thing that we put down as one of our pillars, where is that we were going to be there for each other and support each other no matter what.
11:19.83
James McLamb
That if unless there was a physical reason why we could not support someone, maybe we were, you know away out of the state or just not available. We were going to be there for each other.
11:31.51
James McLamb
So much so that and my daughter, my youngest daughter, got a small bit part in a school play a couple of seasons ago as she was just building. You know she was young, one of the youngest in there.
11:44.22
James McLamb
And I was like, I don't know the oldest two and the oldest one was ah my oldest daughter is married now. I don't know know if the oldest two and and the spouse would love to come to this. This may be boring for them. and we said we'll just send it out and they can come find it they're not fine my youngest was fine if they didn't because she says i have a little part and both of my oldest two children and my daughter and my son they both responded very quickly yeah we'll be there we'll be there to support her we'll do the things for her and they came and i knew they were bored through most of it because she wasn't on the stage but they were there to support each other so the second pillar is that we're going to be there to support each other the first one is is that we're gonna look to look at to glorify God in all that we do. And the third one is is that we as a family are going to seek opportunities to grow spiritually together, to grow ah mentally together, and to grow physically together. So that we look for opportunities to do physical activities and work out together, whether it's going to the gym together or hiking together or playing games outside together.
12:45.85
James McLamb
We look for opportunities to grow mentally. We might read a book together or talk about a class that we've taken or you know engage in those. And most of all, we are very intentional on setting aside times to not only worship together by going to church, but having prayer time and devotion time separately, especially around Christmas. That's a non-negotiable for us. We do Advent as a family. And it's it's a it's a set part, and the and the children know it. They count on it, and they look forward to it.
13:18.62
Jonathan Guerrero
Absolutely love that. I love how connected you guys are as a family in doing things together and supporting each other's activities. That is so, so cool. You're building your own culture.
13:31.50
James McLamb
And it's not easy, but as you and I discussed yesterday, when we're looking at intentional is the word that we really have to focus on, that we have to be intentional about what we're doing. knowing that if we are not intentionally setting aside this as a priority, something will find a way to bump it.
13:51.45
James McLamb
If we're just saying, hey, it's going to happen, it's always happened, we don't have to worry about it, then something will find a way to mess it up. So we have to be intentional about how we do this.
14:02.62
Jonathan Guerrero
The mission, statement, and purpose of the fatherhood challenge is based on Malachi 4.6, which is turning the hearts of fathers to their children. The phrase turning the hearts implies a change in direction. In your experience, what is the most common distraction that keeps a father's heart turned toward his career or his phone rather than his kids?
14:25.46
James McLamb
Let's just examine the career first. The the career thing is it is man's drive to achieve, man's drive to overcome, man's drive to succeed, and that our value and self-worth many times is based on what we do or how we perceive ourselves is based on what we do and how we feel about ourselves based on our performance. So being a part of a career, we want to be respected and appreciated and valued for this. So that's why we dive into that.
14:54.10
James McLamb
because you know We want to provide for our family. We feel like all these things that that we have on our shoulders, the weight we have on our shoulders, some of those can be answered if we dive into our career.
15:06.52
Jonathan Guerrero
o
15:06.62
James McLamb
when When a child a child spells love, especially in regard to their parents, In T-I-M-E. That's how they spell love.
15:16.47
Jonathan Guerrero
yep
15:17.02
James McLamb
They want their time. They don't want your resources. They'd rather have you be with them in some way another. So the career is that drive that we have. When you're talking about social media, I think it's a total, and you're doom scrolling on your phone.
15:36.02
James McLamb
I know for a fact that we are fighting a battle with every tech company who has set up a platform. Their desire is to keep you on that platform as long as possible so they can make money selling ads or or whatever, however they'd have their revenue streams. It's all based on time on. So,
15:56.95
James McLamb
Most of us, and myself included in this, it's taken me years to understand this, completely completely most of us jump into these types of apps, social media, any kind of doom scrolling on this with the aspect of, oh, it's just light entertainment.
16:13.55
James McLamb
But something that's designed to continue to pull you in, if you're not, if you don't know that, You will get sucked into it. And before you know, you've been sitting there next to your children for an hour and a half looking at your phone while they're just, you know, glancing at you, glancing at the television, glancing at whatever, you know, screen that they have.
16:36.54
James McLamb
And their desire is that time with you. And you've been sucked in by someone whose total reason for building their thing is to grab your time and keep your attention so they can make money off of it.
16:51.62
Jonathan Guerrero
That's a sobering way to put it. your Your kids are right in front of you. They are real. They are they are what's real.
16:57.78
James McLamb
Okay.
16:59.22
Jonathan Guerrero
And they care about you. You're supposed to care about them. But you're you're devoting your time and your loyalty to some stranger you can't even see that just wants to make money off of you, could frankly care less about you, doesn't know you, doesn't care. They're just trying to make money.
17:18.71
Jonathan Guerrero
um that's That's sobering.
17:22.49
James McLamb
But it's ah it's just a fact, and we're beginning to see this more. there are There are lawsuits now that are in effect, some court cases that have been recently decided against Snapchat and TikTok that is showing that the the people behind these apps, they know that they're doing this to children, and so they're getting sued on that, but the effect is even greater for us. We've created this world, Jonathan, that we thought was going to be amazing.
17:51.93
James McLamb
And we have not fully understood the implications of everything we've created and what is what's it doing to us. And it's coming so fast, we don't even know. And as a result, we got dads who are choosing careers or or trying to stay up with this fast-moving world or doom-scrolling and staring at their phones all the time. And they're not they're not getting involved with their young people.
18:18.65
James McLamb
um As much as they want to. They're not getting involved with their child, not getting involved with their team and not participating in this. It comes with a cost.
18:29.69
James McLamb
And these fathers are going to pay for this themselves. They'll pay for it in a way of maybe having a relationship that never really forms. a connection that they they can't demand later.
18:40.89
James McLamb
Hey, I want you to come and connect with me and do stuff with me. I'd love to be able to be there. Well, you weren't there with me when I was 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, and now you want me now? What's what's the deal here? I don't understand.
18:53.88
James McLamb
Those things happen. No amount of success or authority or good intentions can replace that loss.
19:03.10
Jonathan Guerrero
And I also noticed there while you're talking, I think anyone else could also pick this up too, but just based on what what on I can weigh in for this is what I noticed is that um you were saying that like, you know, they're just sitting here scrolling on their phone and their kids are just right there.
19:17.82
Jonathan Guerrero
Like they're just right there. That means, and that means that they rather, they rather spend time on their phone. They rather just spend time just sitting there then they'd rather do that than spended time than spend time with their kid.
19:33.27
Jonathan Guerrero
I mean, that's just...
19:36.30
Jonathan Guerrero
That's just sad. Really?
19:37.69
James McLamb
Well, here here's an example that I fight, ah you know, weekly. So I go and pick up my daughter from school, and it's about a 15-minute drive, you know with traffic and stuff to the school for me to get her. So i'm I'm listening to a podcast.
19:52.15
James McLamb
Maybe I'm listening to the Fatherhood Challenge podcast, but I'm listening to a podcast on the way over there. And sometimes I get really involved in, especially if they're story driven type podcasts. And I'm like, oh, what's going to happen next? This is really well we're written. I want to hear the next thing.
20:06.42
James McLamb
Well, as soon as my daughter gets in the vehicle, I cut it off. I have to do that because one day I didn't think about that. And I left it on because I was really involved with what was happening on podcast. And when we got almost home, I realized that she and I hadn't even said anything to each other.
20:22.30
James McLamb
We had a 15 minute ride. She was being respectful that I was listening to something. I was so engrossed in it. I didn't realize what I was doing. So now I have to be intentional. Cut it off. Let's talk.
20:33.21
James McLamb
How's things going today? What was new is exciting at school? How are your friends doing? yeah Trying to probe and and find out what's going on maybe Maybe I'll get that dad joke out of my pocket and and throw it out there too. Hey, you heard a new joke? yeah Whatever it is.
20:49.38
James McLamb
I have to be intentional about it
20:52.15
Jonathan Guerrero
So dads, this is your cue right now. If you're listening to this podcast or if you're listening to this on the radio right now and your kids are with you in this moment, turn it off.
21:05.82
Jonathan Guerrero
You can always listen to it later. That's why it's a podcast. So if you miss it on the radio, you can always catch it on... ah Spotify, you can catch it on Apple Podcasts later. Pick up this episode where you left off and listen to it as many times as you want to.
21:20.66
Jonathan Guerrero
But right now, drop what you're doing. And James just gave you some simple tips to ask. Start doing that right now. So that's that's your cue. That's step number one.
21:33.94
Jonathan Guerrero
Changing gears a little bit, there's a difference between authority and influence. You can comment on a child's, you can command a child's obedience, but how do you win their influence? What's the secret sauce for getting a child to want to follow their father's lead?
21:51.56
James McLamb
I think a father needs to be present and willing to share vulnerability at the appropriate level, depending on their age. So and what I mean by that is they need to show up just like we're talking now, not doom scroll, be there in their lives, attend to things that are going on, ask them questions about what's happening, just spending that time there to to engage in them.
22:17.26
James McLamb
Proximity does not mean Engagement. Just because you're in the same room does not mean you're actually there. I coached baseball for long for many years. My son was on the team for for several years. And I distinctly remember seeing fathers come to the game, sit at their chair, their folding chair, so they could watch the game.
22:38.20
James McLamb
And poppping you know first thing is, is they got on their phone or they started doing something else, maybe talking to friends, and never engaged with their child. Never engaged. So If you want to build that influence, you've got to be present.
22:51.90
James McLamb
Second is you've got to be vulnerable to the level that's appropriate to them. What that means is is that you need to be willing to share your mistakes, your accidents, so that they understand my dad is someone who may not be perfect in everything he does, but gosh, doesn't he try hard? And look at the things that he's succeeding at over here.
23:13.21
James McLamb
they'll see things that they'll see things to them that are success that you will not even consider successes. You know, little things. You know, very early on, I remember my father taking me to work on, and we owned a farm to work on, certain of the mechanical things around the farm. He was not very mechanically minded, but there were certain things he had learned to do. Well, I thought he was a master mechanic on tractors just because what he could simply do. Now, it was only later that I realized, oh, that really wasn't that big a deal. But as a four or five year old, that was that was amazing to me. So when he encouraged me later to take advantage of this,
23:50.58
James McLamb
The influence was there because I recognized to to me, he could do this. He has demonstrated this to me. He's shown me his vulnerability when he failed on stuff. I think I can do this as well.
24:04.31
Jonathan Guerrero
Generation youth is all about potential. What is the one thing a father can do or say every single day to ensure he is watering the seeds of his child's unique gifts rather than trying to mold them into the mini version of himself?
24:22.20
James McLamb
Well, if you ask this question almost to anyone, I think the answer that you're going to get is they need to show up and be sincere and saying that I love you. That is going to be that process ah of letting them know that I have a shadow of doubt. My son's 23 years old.
24:38.17
James McLamb
While I'm sitting here talking to you, 22 years old, I'll be 23 in a month. While I'm sitting here talking to you, I saw a message flash up across my screen as as it's connected to text.
24:49.78
James McLamb
that he's texting me about something. So, you know, I show up and and tell him I love him. Two is You need to tell him that how proud you are, not how proud you are necessarily of him, but how proud you are to be his dad.
25:07.10
James McLamb
That is the greatest thing, at Joy, is to be his dad. Because what that does, when you say, I am proud of being your dad, what that says to him is no matter what I am, who how successful I am, he still loves me. He's still proud of me.
25:22.10
James McLamb
If you phrase it sometimes, I'm proud of you, it could be interpreted, not all the time, but it could be interpreted by the young person to say, they're only proud of me based on what I do. They're proud of me at this moment.
25:36.34
James McLamb
I'm proud of how you did, you know, what you're doing. this Those are all positive statements. But being able to say, I'm so proud of to be your dad. Look at what you... Look at look at look at how great this is is for me. I love this. It's going to put it back to them saying, my dad just loves me and proud of me no matter what.
25:56.98
Jonathan Guerrero
I think you just mentioned something super important, and that is don't just teach them to associate that value. Don't just teach them to associate that value with um with success. In other words, don't let them think that I'm only proud of you when you're doing well, when you're achieving and you're making me proud of you because of what you've accomplished.
26:23.27
Jonathan Guerrero
But that pride in your child, that love is unconditional, meaning when you fail to, when things don't go as planned, when you do something, even do something wrong, when you make mistakes, that love never changes. That pride in in your child never changes regardless. there's just It's the same. and i we just You and I did an episode together where we talked about the image of God.
26:51.58
Jonathan Guerrero
And those two are so connected. The image of God, meaning our relationship with God, how we perceive God is hardwired into how we perceive our relationship with our own dad. And it works the other way, too. They're so interchangeable.
27:08.82
Jonathan Guerrero
And this is why that those what you just said becomes so important We have to have, we are wired, we need that approval, whether we succeed or whether we fail.
27:24.37
James McLamb
I so much agree on that. They need to understand that. And that's that's mimicking our Heavenly Father. he's not He does not love us because of what we do. He loves us because we are, just because we are His child and we he He loves us. And we need to mimic that. We need to model that.
27:43.35
James McLamb
And I guess in some ways we need to, as Christians, as men as well, we need to really process that and and believe that ourselves. That that is a an issue I think that happens quite too often is that we don't we don't really believe it.
28:02.78
James McLamb
You know, we say we that we believe that our Heavenly Father loves us, but we don't act like it or we don't um we don't show it in our lives. And therefore, it's hard for us then to model that to our children as well. So we really need to process that part as well.
28:21.91
Jonathan Guerrero
You are big on legacy. when you look at the work when When you look at the work that you do, how much of it is about fixing the present and how much of it is about pre-fixing the lives of grandchildren that you haven't even met yet?
28:37.43
James McLamb
Well, I think it's ah it's a foundational lay-in. you know As a farm kid, as a guy who grew up in agricultural setting, you're always you always understand the concept of you're planting seeds now to harvest later.
28:48.63
James McLamb
And that is a great extent of what we do as parents and grandparents, is you're planting positive seeds now. You're planting spiritual seeds now that may not be harvested until long past your direct in-person influence.
29:05.78
James McLamb
but you can have such a significant influence. I mean, we've had research, if if if you don't want to listen to us talk about these platitudes of of of influencing children, there is research that has shown that of how men who have had values and have concentrated their things in life in positive ways, how their children and their offspring for generations have prospered versus men who rejected anything of value, ejected anything that's related to God in their lives have had horrible lives and their offspring were even worse in their, in the way they live. So it is, we are planning for our future. We are not only ours, but our grandchildren as well.
29:52.02
James McLamb
Um, I think of that quite a bit for my own father. I think he is at the point now where he starts to realize my greatest influence may not be in my directly my two children, but it may be my grandchildren.
30:11.38
Jonathan Guerrero
To the dad listening who feels like the bridge is already burned, maybe his kids are older or the silence has grown too loud. What is the first step he can take this week to start the turning process?
30:26.46
James McLamb
Well, be present. Be present not just in proximity, but in mind and spirit. Engage with them if they're coming from a place where they have been neglectful.
30:40.25
James McLamb
And it is known that they have been neglectful. It is obvious that they have not done these things. Be vulnerable to say, hey, I made a mistake. I was wrong. I was not engaging with you as much as hand. This is what we're looking at going forward. This is what we hope to do going forward.
31:01.30
Jonathan Guerrero
As we close, can't can dads connect with you? oh how can dads connect with you and find and find your podcast or learn more about Generation Youth Coaching?
31:07.19
James McLamb
We would...
31:17.30
James McLamb
Well, we would love for them to visit us. The easiest place to do is to go to our website, which is generation-youth, not the word dash, but a dash, Generation-youth.com. On that website, they'll be able to find sections for coaching, sections for the podcast, links to our substack where we write a lot of articles that are related to this and share other thoughts on this. So if they go to generation-youth.com, they'll find all that information. Plus they can find the direct links to our social media sites there as well. So they can DM us there or email us.
31:54.84
Jonathan Guerrero
And just to make things easier, if you go to thefatherhoodchallenge.com, that's thefatherhoodchallenge.com. If you go to this episode and you're looking for the episode called The Generation Bridge, The Generation Bridge, go to that episode, look right below the episode description, and i will have all of the the links that James just mentioned posted right there for your convenience.
32:20.89
Jonathan Guerrero
James, this has been a powerful, a very deep conversation. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with us. And thank you so much for sharing Generation Youth with us, what what this organization does and what this can do for dads. Isaac, do you have any closing thoughts?
32:43.50
Jonathan Guerrero
You're thinking?
32:46.20
Jonathan Guerrero
Yeah, hold on. he Any closing thoughts? Still thinking home.
33:00.92
Jonathan Guerrero
All right. That's okay. All right. Well, we'll wrap here. This is a good place to wrap up. James, thank you so much.
33:09.40
James McLamb
Thank you for your time. Thank you, Isaac and Jonathan, for the for this conversation. I do appreciate it and so support the mission of the Fatherhood Challenge.