In this episode we’re going to discuss why a belief in a God higher than yourself is essential to be at your best for your children. We are also going to discuss why teaching your kids to be spiritually connected can give them many advantages in life over dads who choose not to.

My guest is Bryan Ward. Bryan is a dad, husband and the creator and host of a top-rated podcast called Dad Up Podcast. Bryan has also coached countless fathers on becoming the best dad they can be for their families.

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Transcription - The God Advantage

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In this episode, we're going to discuss why a belief in a God higher than yourself is essential to be at your best for your children.

We're also going to discuss why teaching your kids to be spiritually connected can give them many advantages in life over other dads who choose not to.

All this in just a moment, so don't go anywhere.

Before we begin, I'd like to thank our proud sponsor of this episode and the Fatherhood Challenge, Ingenius Prep.

Ingenius Prep is the world's premier admissions consulting firm, proud to be officially recognized as the country's top college admissions consultants, helping students prepare for admissions to top schools through individualized educational programs that increase chances of admission by up to 10 times.

Ingenius Prep students work with former admission officers to differentiate themselves from other competitive students in three areas colleges evaluate students.

In academics, extra curricular activities and personal characteristics.

Just this past admission cycle, Ingenius Prep students have secured 110 offers from Ivy League schools, 268 offers from top 20 schools and 904 offers from top 50 schools.

Ingenius Prep student success lies within the fact that Ingenius Prep is an all in one consulting firm offering every service of family needs, whether it be test prep, tailored candidacy, building mentorship, academic mentorships, the leadership and innovation lab, soft skills courses, writing courses and other customized programs to develop their application persona to the most effective and authentic extent to share with colleges.

Just click on the link in the episode description to book a free strategy call with one of Ingenius Prep's college experts or you can visit IngeniusPrep.com that's IngeniusPrep.com and let them know you came from the Fatherhood Challenge.

Welcome to the Fatherhood Challenge, a movement to awaken and inspire fathers everywhere to take great pride in their role and a challenge society to understand how important fathers are to the stability and culture of their family's environment.

Now here's your host, Jonathan Guerrero.

Greetings everyone, thank you so much for joining me. My guest is Brian Ward.

Brian is a dad, husband and creator and co-host of a top rated podcast called Dad Up Podcast. Brian has also coached countless fathers on becoming the best dad that they can be for their families.

Brian, thank you so much for being on the Fatherhood Challenge.

Thank you very much for having me, brother. I really appreciate it. I've been looking forward to this conversation.

Brian, what is your favorite dad joke?

Which one?

I think dads probably have a few in their belts that they keep around. I think I've thrown so many at my kids that they don't really into them anymore. They're 25 and 22. They're like, okay whatever dad.

Now the first one that comes to mind is when I was looking at the question, I was like, okay, I could think of the one that I always go to.

It's a simple one, but how do you organize a party in space?

Party in space. I have no idea. You plan it.

And then the other one I like to use is why did this bar involves a bar, but why did the dad bring his ladder to the bar?

I have no idea.

Because it drinks around the house.

Those are my two, those are my two vote to use, but love it. Yeah. Well, Brian, what is your story behind why and how you started the dad podcast?

You know, it's interesting. I went through a phase in my life where I've been a pretty, I'd like to call myself a pretty successful dad and that I was always intentional with my time with my boys.

I was always around. I was always doing things with them. I was always the one being responsible for them when it came to field trips.

I was always at their parent teacher conferences, open house. I was at everything. I mean, it was just wasn't a thing that I wasn't at.

My wife and I both. And I had an opportunity when my older son who's now 25, I was signing him up for a little league baseball.

And the guy looked at me and said, hey, you want a coach? And I said, oh, no, man, I know, I know baseball is, and I know how to play.

I know the rules and all that, but I have no idea how to coach. And he goes, bro, they're four years old. They're going to play with the grass and they're going to run around.

Just teach them the basics. I'm like, okay, I'll give it a shot. So that's how kind of how my journey as to really diving in as a dad really got started because I started coaching when my older son was four.

I coached both my boys. I've coached my nephews and I coached them all the way up through high school, including once they graduated high school, I continued to coach the high school level.

My point is that when my younger son had reached this senior year of high school, my older son at the time was in college.

I felt this pit in my stomach. I felt a almost a sadness to this journey that I'd been on for all these years.

It really caused me to go not into heavy depression, but I had like this, the slight bit of anxiety or depression come over me that I just didn't know how to handle it.

And that was that my younger son was about to leave the house, go to college.

And I felt like my dad journey was over. I felt like it had come to an end. We as dads know that that doesn't ever happen, right? We're always going to be dads forever.

But for me, because I had been such an involved dad, that was all I knew. I was everything that I knew. And I felt like that was gone. It was going to be over.

And I was talking to my, I was telling my wife about it and telling her how I was feeling and I was talking to a couple of family members about it and what I'm said, well, Brian, you have been such a successful or great dad with Blake and Brett my two boys.

Maybe this is a time now for you to reflect and maybe give back to other dads. And I said, what do you mean? And it's what about doing a podcast?

And I went, you know, maybe I don't know much about podcasts. I don't even know how to get started. But maybe I'll give it some thought. You could do podcasts where you're talking to, you know, athletes, celebrities, entrepreneurs, pastors, authors, just getting their experiences as dads.

And maybe it'll resonate with another dad out there. Maybe they share something that will really hit home for another dad that's listening.

And so I thought about it. I went home, talked to my wife about it. She said, that would be great. You would be phenomenal at it. And the rest is history. 250 episodes later, four and a half years, almost five years in.

I've been featured on a number of publications. I've been featured on radio. I've been featured on CNN didn't interview on me. It's just, it's been a, it's been a journey. It's been a ride and it's been a lot of fun.

But it all started from just having a sense of, of almost like loss, sadness and, you know, God opened my heart and said, Hey, I have, I have more in your life. I have more purpose for you than what you think of just being a dad.

And this is the journey I want to take you on. And now I get to coach dads out there. I have dads that are clients of mine that I coach. So it's just opened up a whole new world for me.

I had a guest on his name was Chris Bruno and he wrote a book called Sage. And a sage is is a wise person that mentors younger people through their, their journeys based on, on their own experiences and, and their own wisdom that they've learned over the years.

And that's what you've become for many dads is is a sage. And to really add to it, there are a lot of so called sages out there in the dad space. And, and there's, and we're going to get to this.

There's a lot of people out there that call themselves dad coaches. It's all over the place. But the reason you and I are talking is because you have a unique advantage over everybody else who claims to be in that same space.

It's the fact that you're spiritually guided and you're spiritually led and directed through your journey. Not only through your journey through fatherhood, but now in your new role as a sage and a leader and a coach to other dads.

You are spiritually guided, which gives you this huge advantage over everybody else.

Because when it comes to topics and agendas, you're right at the center of God's heart. And we'll touch on that more later. Tell me about your most memorable guest. What made that episode so impactful to both you and your audiences?

Listen, I have a couple of episodes that I could reflect on that the individuals that I interviewed really were just a check in all in dad that was successful. I had, there's been three of them now that I have interviewed that were, I mean, they just hit, they just checked every box.

And they were so impressive to me in those three individuals, sadly, have passed away since, since our recording. And what's, what's, what's so touching about that is that I was able to have an impact not only on their life, but I was also able to have an impact on their family's life.

Because now they have a recording of their dad or now they have a recording of their husband sharing moments of them and their family together.

And so they will have that forever, you know, it's on the podcast. I'll have it forever. And so as sad as I am that those three individuals had passed away, it just makes me feel good that I took part in helping their family continue the memory of the dad or the husband.

So those are, those are super memorable to me. And I don't want to list their names, but those are those three guys are super memorable to me.

One of them is an actual TV host or television newscaster. And another guy owned a franchise gym. And another guy was a very successful author.

So it's just those three guys, you know, their deaths were sudden they weren't expected, but the fact that their family now can have their voice forever talking about them.

Their children that were little will now hear that when they're in their teenage years going my dad passed away when I was little, but I get to hear him talk about me and talk about his relationship with me when I was little.

So now I can understand it. Now I can get a sense of it, right? Because he's hearing the dad talk about it.

So those three are really, really memorable. However, I have three others. And these three are super important to me. And one of them in particular is my interview of my own father.

My father and I had a decent relationship, but not great. He wasn't super active in my life. He was not he was not overly affectionate.

He told me he told me he loved me and all that, but he was he was an old school dad. He was hard knows like it was his way or the highway kind of attitude. That was kind of how I grew up.

You're going to listen and do everything that he says you're not going to disobey in any way. And if you do, you're going to get in serious trouble. I mean he was he was a hard knows dad. And we but it heads quite a bit to the point that when I became an adult and had kids.

And my life in the way that I wanted to raise my family, I realized was much different than how my dad wanted to raise his family. And it caused kind of some some rough times between my dad and I during our adult years.

And we still have a relationship don't get me wrong. We still have a relationship. We still talk. We still see each other every once in a while. They live four or five hours away from me. But our relationship was kind of strained.

And I wanted to have them on because I wanted to hear more about his life growing up to see if there's some sort of connection to who he was then to who he is when I was growing up to who he is now.

He he broke down on that interview. He said sorry to me on that interview. He talked about our relationship and it made me feel special in that I now know that the stuff that my dad went through when he was little is a direct reflection of how he has has was how he treated his family and how he thinks that I should treat my family.

He's all this you know ever evolving circle that just keeps going around and round. And he he constantly told me how proud he was of me and all these things. So that that episode is pretty pretty remarkable. It really opened my eyes to who he was as my dad.

And then and then my two other ones are I had to my both my boys on they they reluctantly said they would join me on the podcast and I got to ask them some questions and stuff like that. So that was more of a fun one.

And then obviously I've had my wife on the show also she and I share our moments together in parenting and I've had her on a couple times.

I think if I had to summarize everything you've just said in answering that question and I had to summarize it in one word the one word that comes loudly to my mind is legacy.

To each of your guests and especially the ones that you mentioned specifically you have left them you've given them a tremendous gift of a legacy that they will always have with them.

The center of this program is based off of Malachi four six which is turning the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers.

And this is exactly what you're doing this is why I have so much respect for your program for your podcast for everything that you're doing it's a tremendous gift so thank you.

Thank you for saying that really appreciate it. How did faith in God become a part of your parenting experience and how is it giving you an advantage over other dads who choose not to involve God.

I grew up in a household that wasn't really big in faith and we I can't remember ever going to church with my parents and so it's been it was kind of interesting that to grow up in a household where my my mom went to Catholic school my dad didn't really go to church.

And here I am my sister and I being raised in a home that you know my dad didn't necessarily know if God existed but he wasn't sure but didn't think you know he wasn't an atheist either but he he also wasn't sure what was up there so he he didn't know what to believe my mom believes in God but not enough to have a solid relationship with it.

As I grew up I started hanging out with a lot of friends and stuff that had different religious beliefs. I went to Catholic school with my cousins because I wanted to hang out with my cousins.

I went to some non denominational churches to hang out with some of my friends because I wanted to go to church because I wanted to hang out my friends.

And then I had a couple of my closest friends were were are still are to this day are Mormons and so I went spent a lot of time at the Mormon church church Jesus Christ the Latter Day Saints.

My basically all of my teenage years and I did that not because I understood what a relationship with God really meant or what a what the impact God could have on me really meant.

I did it selfishly because I wanted to hang out with my friends that's why I did that's why I went.

And so as I got older spent four years in the Marines I went to church a couple times while I was in the Marine Corps and then my wife and I got together we started having kids and my wife said you know it's really important to me that our boys have a relationship with God.

And I said I think I pulled kind of what my dad was thinking I said that's fine I agree with you but we don't necessarily need to go to church do that I can have a relationship with God not have to go to church.

And she said no I understand that but I want them to have a deep connected relationship with God in order to do that we need to go to church and we need to represent we need to we need to show leave by example and bring them to church.

So we started doing that and my faith I believe my faith in my relationship with God my kids got to see me when they were young teenagers I'd never been baptized in my entire life we went to church one day they were doing baptisms and they asked for volunteers and I have no idea that this feeling was going to come over to me but somebody or something told me to stand up.

And it was like enough church full of people my wife my kids I didn't know this was going to happen but I was sitting there they said we're going to take volunteers versus anybody wants to come up and be baptized please please stand up and I sat there and I went something said stand up and I stood up and my wife like looked at me like what are you doing and I they said come on up come on up and I walked up and right there and then got baptized in the church.

And I was a baptized in front of my boys and my wife and I think that was a perfect example of being a role model for them and leading by example to show them what a true relationship with God really means and I think it provided for them basically a framework not only for morality but also for values.

And involving faith in parenting can essentially foster a sense of I guess purpose and guidance it can also help instill principles like you got kindness obviously integrity compassion that's a big one right and in my opinion that is probably the difference between parents who incorporate faith in parenting and those who don't now let's take it a little bit deeper how has teaching your kids to be connected to God spiritually given them the way to do it.

So I think that's really given them advantage over other kids who have not been taught this my boys grew up in in you know faith based home 90% of their friends were you know went to church.

So they had a lot of similarities with the friends that they grew up with they both my boys graduated from Christian universities and so they've gone through private school Christian school from the age of kindergarten all the way up through college.

And so there were friends that they hung out with were pretty much practice some sort of faith or religion but they also knew the ones that didn't you know they went to private school it was a it was a Christian private school and they could see the differences in the kids that had a relationship with God and those it didn't and those it didn't obviously were a little bit more not necessarily outgoing but outgoing in the wrong way if you know what I mean.

I think it being connected to God spiritually I think provided several advantages to them or maybe in several advantages to them that maybe enhanced their emotional or social or moral development and some of those would be like sense of purpose like my boys had a sense of purpose with their relationship with God.

They're they're I talked about it before their framework the moral framework they knew just from Biblical principles and spiritual guidance and spiritual spiritual scripture that their moral framework was in place and they knew what it meant.

And then obviously the emotional support we have their emotional support of not only those that were connected with but our relationship with God as well.

And then one of the biggest things that the Bible teaches us as human beings is empathy and compassion. And so my boys even though they did have friends that didn't have faith in their life my boys still had empathy and compassion for those people and still were able to make relationships with with with other kids that didn't know exactly know what a relationship with God was.

And then the other thing that I thought of when when I was reading this question is our coping mechanisms that learn teaches us on how to cope through challenging times and I think that that's a big one because there's so much in the Bible that can teach us about how to get through difficult struggles that we face whether we're a child or an adult.

And if it's stress anxiety anger sadness whatever the case may be it provides us with a coping mechanism so I think that's probably my difference what I feel in my opinion is my differences between my kids that have a relationship with God and those that don't.

I love that answer I can share my own experience as well with my kids I had one of my sons I have two boys and one of my sons came up to me with a question asking me specifically what he should do in a very specific situation.

And I remember telling him I'm not going to tell you what to do now I'm going to share with you what I would do in that situation and then I'm going to tell you why I would do that and I did.

And then when I was done with my my own explanation or my own answer to his question then I just went back to a biblical framework as you call it I love that that term framework.

It's because it's not it's not specific but it's enough to provide them direction to answer their own questions and to find their own solutions Biblically and that's what I did I just went over the framework with him over the principle and I just left him with that.

And it was interesting in time in time in time in time again I have seen him make good decisions on his own without being prompted I don't have to tell him you need to do this or you need to do that.

He just does things on on his own and I believe internally there is a certain pride that he has that he's able to do that there's a sense of security and a security for being able to do that isn't in me.

It's all based off of Biblical principles so in all reality he is learning to live in faith with God which is everything a dad could or should want for their son.

Now talk to me about the relationship between God the father.

Dad's and their kids how is this link to the concept of the image of God and how is this understanding change how dad's parent.

I think the relationship between God the father and the fathers with their children often draws like parallels in terms of love guidance and nurturing right.

But in many religion religious context God the father is seen as a perfect model of fatherhood he's embodying unconditional love patience and wisdom.

For earthly fathers this relationship can serve as like an ideal to strive for just as like God provides for and protects his children earthly dads all are also called to support and guide their kids through life's challenges.

It includes things like teaching values offering encouragement and even being present in their lives which is something that I talk about a lot right on my show.

But the way God communicates with his children through prayer and scripture and spiritual spiritual guidance it can inspire fathers to engage in open and honest communication with their own children.

And that fosters a sense of trust and security which is I believe in my opinion essential for a healthy relationship.

So I mean how does it how does this link it to the concept of the image of God I think the image of God is basically a fundamental in understanding the relationship between God the father earthly fathers and their children so the theological idea suggests that humans are created in God's likeness right which encompasses various attributes such as reason morality creativity relational capacity.

But reflection of divine qualities means the earthly fathers are often seen as a reflecting certain or often seen as reflecting certain qualities of God just as God embodies love compassion and justice fathers are called to exhibit those traits in their relationship with their children.

But I also think dignity and worth is important to because it recognizes that every person made in the image of God's instills a sense of dignity and worth and fathers understanding this concept can then be motivated to treat their children with respect and honor recognizing their inherent value as individuals that are that were created by God.

But I think fatherhood it's it's a sacred role and the role of a father is seen as a sacred responsibility so by embodying the attributes of God.

Fathers can help their children understand their own identity as beings made in God's image right and reinforcing their self worth and their purpose.

What has been the hardest lesson you've had to learn that has made you an exceptional dad to your kids.

I think one of the things that I have learned was that I had to learn was patience but having you know here's the thing we don't know when we when we become fathers we don't know what we know on raising children except for our own upbringing right our own our own sense of how we were raised and people around us

and how they raised their kids or things maybe that you read other than that we don't really have a sense of guidance and so I think one of the hardest lessons that I have learned that helped me become a better father was embracing my imperfections.

I know that I am not a perfect dad I know that I never will be a perfect dad but accepting mistakes which happen both as parents and in a child's life helps a father to be more forgiving to himself and his children and fostering basically an urching environment where learning from errors is valid.

I also think that communication is another area that I've really had to learn but it helped me to open up on us in communication that I think transformed my relationship with my boys even to this day our communication is still evolving as father and son and I think it's I think communication is one of the most important factors you can have in order to be a successful dad.

I think obviously we know this prioritizing our quality of time right learning that being present and engage is more important than the amount of time spent that can shift a father's focus from quantity to quality and this can help obviously build a deeper connection with our children.

So those are probably some of the things that I had to learn in order to be a good dad or successful dad and there's you know listen I'm not perfect I still I still struggle through things today and I'll continue to struggle through things but as long as I understand the concepts and the things that I just shared with you and know that I'm not perfect and accept the mistakes that I make and learn from them and grow from them I could become better from them.

As long as I am able to become at least one percent better ever day as a dad and a husband then I know I'm doing the right thing Brian it's not very often that I recommend other podcasts on on this program but this is an exception because I believe that what you're doing has tremendous value to the extent that if dads are not listening to your podcast into your message and what you're saying they're actually missing out on the way you're doing.

I believe in the way you're doing.

I believe in the way you're doing.

I believe in the way you're doing.

So I want everyone every dad everyone listening to go to your podcast and to listen to every episode if they do that they're going to it will actually do nothing but enhance their own experience their own connection with their kids so Brian how can dads find your podcast how can they connect with you and learn more about what you're doing.

I'm most active on Instagram it's at data podcast is my Instagram handle.

I do have you know Facebook I have a Facebook group data podcast or data tribe.

I also have you know LinkedIn which is under my name and then I have tick-tock and the other things but I'm most active on Instagram and if you send me a message have a question want to know a little bit more about me or have a certain parenting question.

I get parenting questions all the time through DMs on on Instagram.

I always respond to them and I always communicate with the person when they're asking a question regardless of what it is.

Ask me a serious question need some serious help need some serious guidance.

I've had dads reach out to me. I've had moms reach out to me.

I've had dads and moms reach out to me about each other.

So it's it's it's okay with me and I'm okay sharing my thoughts. Listen I'm not a licensed therapist. I want to make that very clear.

I am not licensed to practice as a therapist. However I do consider myself a professional dad because I've been a dad for a long time and I've been through a number of areas in my life and my boys lives to know how to raise kids the right way.

And so any any help I can provide there I welcome it. It can also reach me on my email and John you got you got my email it's dad up tribe at gmail.com.

I have a team that answers my emails and gets things all set up there as far as scheduling and stuff like that.

But yeah the Instagram's the main one and then obviously you got my YouTube channel which is dad up podcast as well.

And just to make things easier if you go to the fatherhood challenge.com that's the fatherhood challenge.com if you go to this episode look right below the episode description.

I will have all of the links that Brian just mentioned posted there for your convenience.

As we close what is your challenge to dads listening now my challenge to dads listening now. Now listen to me dads take a moment to reflect on your parenting journey.

And I want you to identify one area just one where you can improve or grow just one I'm not telling you to fix your entire life.

I'm telling you to fix one area as a dad where you can improve and grow.

That could be things like engaging in active listening could be maybe planning one on one quality time with your kids practicing vulnerability.

That's a huge one setting setting new family traditions that family traditions are always big in our household.

One of the most important things you can do is the dad is prioritizing self care.

I work out every single day I go for runs I take care of my health because I know if I don't take care of my health I can't take care of my family.

I always express gratitude so that's another one that you could work on.

And then learn something new together something that you guys don't have never done together learn learn something new.

Those are just a few but if you take the challenges some of these ideas or take these this challenge to heart and remember that small changes can lead to significant improvements in your relationship with your children you'll be much better off.

You remember what I said just a few moments ago if I could get just one percent better today than I was yesterday.

I'm doing a pretty darn good job because if you if you add that out even over a year it's only one percent today but if you add that up over a year I'm not sure how much better you'll be a year from now.

If you focus on that one goal so that's reflect on your parenting journey and identify just one area where you can improve and grow.

Brian it has been an absolute honor to have you on the father of challenge.

Thank you so much for all of the wisdom that you've shared with us.

Let's appreciate it.

Thank you very much for having me man. I appreciate it and I'm looking forward to continuing our friendship hopefully one day we can meet in person and maybe break some bread together.

Thank you for listening to this episode of the Fatherhood Challenge.

If you would like to contact us listen to other episodes find any resource mentioned in this program or find out more information about the Fatherhood Challenge please visit the fatherhoodchallenge.com

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