A Bedtime Story

The Golden Can Award


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Once upon a time in the bustling little town of Trashville, there lived a group of raccoons with very specific talents. These raccoons were not your ordinary, run-of-the-mill raccoons; they were known for their nimbleness, stealth, and—most importantly—their insatiable love for human garbage.

Every year, as the holidays approached, the raccoons of Trashville engaged in a time-honored tradition: the Great Trash Heist Competition. The stakes were high, as the winner would earn the coveted Golden Can Award. This shimmering garbage can-shaped trophy was the pride of raccoons far and wide.

The contestants this year were formidable. There was Ricky, known for his lightning-fast paws, and his sister, Lucy, who had the incredible ability to squeeze into impossibly tiny spaces. Then there was Archie, who could charm humans into leaving their trash cans unlocked, and Max, the tech-savvy raccoon who had mastered opening automated bins.

The night of the competition was cold, with the moon casting a mysterious glow over the town. The raccoons gathered at their headquarters—an old, abandoned pizza parlor—each strategizing their plan of attack.

Ricky kicked off the contest by darting through the alleys, his nimble paws quickly snatching up discarded pizza crusts and soda cans. Lucy followed suit, slipping into a narrow crack between two buildings to retrieve gourmet leftovers from the local French restaurant’s dumpster.

Meanwhile, Archie was having a grand time near the local park, where he managed to sweet-talk a couple having a date into leaving their garbage bag open. "Oh, those poor raccoons must be starving," the couple said, unaware of Archie’s sly grin as he made off with an entire loaf of garlic bread.

Max, however, had his eyes on the grand prize. With a flick of his cleverly crafted raccoon tool—a stick with a bent paperclip—he managed to unlock the automated dumpster outside the supermarket. The haul was legendary: uneaten cakes, half-eaten sandwiches, and the holy grail of garbage—twinkies.

As the night drew to a close, it was time for the judging. The raccoons gathered back at the pizza parlor, proudly displaying their loot. Ricky had collected a king’s feast of fast food, and Lucy’s culinary delights were the envy of every raccoon. Archie, with his charming ways, had amassed quite a collection of human snacks.

But it was Max who stood out. His tech-savvy victory and unprecedented haul from the supermarket's dumpster earned him not just the Golden Can Award but also a standing ovation from his peers.

As the raccoons celebrated, huddled together under the starlit sky, they knew they would always be remembered as the greatest trash-picking team in the history of Trashville. And so, with their bellies full and the Golden Can Award shining brightly in Max's paws, they scampered back to their homes in the trees, ready for a long, satisfied nap, dreaming of the next year's heist.

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A Bedtime StoryBy Matthew Mitchell