We come to the heart of Jesus' message. The Gospel is not about self-fulfillment, but self-denial. The way up is the way down. The way to gain life is to lose your life. Jesus teaches on the costliness of following Him. He says it requires a complete abandonment of your former identity, and then reassociation with Him. The one who desires to follow Jesus must lay down all former ways of life, take up their cross every single day, and follow Him. This is a message that doesn't sell, but it's one the truly converted heart loves.