Before we stumble to the polls on this surreal, demoralizing Election Day of 2024 and then strap in for a long, grating night (or several nights) of cable news speculation, touchscreen charts, and punditry, let's take a couple of hours to remember a couple of musical whitewashes which feel almost as false as the rest of this whole thing feels. INYTLM is back to offer you an invaluable civic resource: two cynical musical theatre analogies that perfectly match the two major presidential candidates on the ballot. 

Is anybody theeeeeeeere? Does anybody caaaaaaare?