We've all heard the phrase "Put your own oxygen mask on first"—but do we actually live it? In this solo episode, Sarah reflects on launching Simonne (again!) into another international adventure—the Netherlands this semester, Finland next semester—and how the experience revealed some hard truths about caregiving, independence, and the habit of putting ourselves last.
As a psychology-at-heart person, Sarah never stops analyzing (especially herself), and this trip surfaced fascinating insights: why self-care is often conditional, why compliments are so hard to accept, and why the oxygen mask rule must be full stop, non-negotiable.
Quote of the Week
"You must put your own oxygen mask on first. Full stop. Non-negotiable." – Sarah McVanel
In this episode, Sarah opens up about how easily we slide into supporting everyone else—kids, partners, colleagues, even strangers halfway around the world—while leaving little space for our own restoration.
She shares a story about complimenting long-term care staff, hospital healthcare providers, and hospitality professionals in the Netherlands, where even the most dedicated staff struggled to accept recognition. It's a mirror many of us hold up: we're quick to give but hesitant to receive, quick to care for others but reluctant to prioritize ourselves.
Launching Simonne (Again)
This isn't the first time Sarah and Mark have launched Simonne into the world—Argentina, Australia, Italy came before—but this one felt different. The stakes are higher with full-time psychology courses abroad, and the parental caregiving instinct came rushing back, even for their fiercely independent daughter.
From filling the fridge to thrift-store runs, the impulse to smooth the path for Simonne was irresistible, and that's not necessarily a bad thing. Interestingly, it wasn't until Sarah returned home, both she and Mark jetlagged and exhausted, that they realized that between launching Simonne, working, and the thousands of kilometres travelling, they didn't spend sufficient time filling their energetic gas tank. They squeezed it in, but perhaps they could have built in more time. Habits are hard to break, or even catch, while you're in a behavioural habit loop reinforced with a strong value system.
Humility as a Virtue
Upon reflection, it made Sarah think about how healthcare providers, in the business of caring for others, give, give, give and sometimes forget to ensure their wellbeing is sufficiently reinforced.
How many go from getting kids off to school to working their shift to caring for aging parents to the kids' sports tournament, and around and around, the weeks go by. This isn't unique to North Americans; she heard this with Dutch care providers, too. In fact, when offering compliments to some, the response was: "Oh, I'm just doing my job." So she and her co-lead in the Netherlands, Paul ter Wal, distributed more of the compliment cards, "Please be as kind to yourself as you are to the people you care for," than any other they had printed, especially for this ThankFULL experience. You'll be glad to know that more are being printed and distributed to healthcare providers back here in North America.
The Oxygen Mask Rule: Full Stop
The big insight? The oxygen mask metaphor only works if we actually live it. No more "I'll rest once things calm down." No more "after I take care of everyone else." It's non-negotiable.
This episode is for you if…
- You put everyone else at the top of your list
- You struggle to receive recognition or compliments
- You want to build recovery time into your life without guilt
- You need a reminder that your well-being fuels your impact
What would change if your self-care came first instead of last?
Greatness Together Podcast Links
50 Ways to Practice Self-Care Ep 6: Are You a Perfectionist? Ep 27: Is Your Role Leading to Burnout? Ep 34: What If 80% Was Actually A+? Greatness Magnified Subscribe to The Greatness Together Podcast
