If you’ve ever been turned down by a crush, passed up for a promotion, or dismissed by a parent, you’ve felt the sting of rejection. And if left unchecked, that pain can surface and cause harm to our other relationships.

In this episode of Smart Living with Grit and Grace, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender are joined by Dr. Gary Lawrence, the founder and director of New Life Dynamics Christian Counseling Ministries, to talk about the impact of rejection and how to overcome its stronghold. Through the retelling of his own personal stories, Dr. Gary reveals how early rejection can form a root of bitterness that negatively impacts our interactions as we age. But we’re not without hope. He also shares practical steps for recognizing the source of our pain and breaking the cycle so we don’t break our relationships.

Dr. Gary Lawrence is the founder and director of New Life Dynamics Christian Counseling Ministries, and author of his bestselling book, Rejection Junkies. After 20 years as the host of his own radio show, Life Mastery Counseling with Dr. G, Dr. G has personally met with and coached more than 6,000 clients and has inspired thousands more on radio, television, and stage.

Dr. G specializes on breaking down the damaging effects of rejection and the way in which this trauma manifests throughout all phases of life. In Rejection Junkies, Dr. G helps readers to recognize the circumstances that hold them hostage, keeping them stuck, and making them bitter.

“If God is for us, who can ever be against us?”—Romans 8:31

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Do you ever wonder why we named our podcast Smart Living with Grit and Grace? Or what “grit and grace” actually means when used in tandem? Maybe you’re just curious to know how smart living can change your life.

Darlene and Julie are taking it back to the basics in this episode, chatting through the origin story of our nonprofit, Grit and Grace Life, and the mission God placed on Darlene’s heart to create a space where women could feel seen and encouraged and gain wisdom through life’s highs and lows by hearing other women’s stories.

They also break down what we mean by the phrases “smart living” and “grit and grace,” defining and unpacking the intention behind each word. Whether you’re new to our wonderful, welcoming side of the internet or you’ve been around with us for the last 10 years, we hope this episode re-centers your understanding not only of why Grit and Grace Life exists, but how the literal values of “grit” and “grace” can shift the way you experience the world as a woman of faith.

“It’s in us; that innate grit is in women, and we want to break that out, encourage it, mold it, and allow it to shine.”—Julie Bender

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We’ll take a guess and say that your calendar, like ours, is booked with Sunday services, Easter brunches, and egg hunting this weekend. And all for good reason: It gives us many opportunities to rejoice with loved ones in the eternal hope Jesus secured for us through the resurrection.

So in the spirit of celebrating Easter with our friends and family, Darlene and Julie take a closer look at the life of the ultimate relationship expert: Jesus! The Lord changed lives not only after his resurrection but during his years walking among us, and we have much to gain by reflecting on the many interactions he had with others. In this episode, Darlene and Julie discuss:

We hope this glimpse into Jesus’ conversations and interactions offers a glowing example of how we can show up in our relationships—both this Easter and in the years to come.

“As personal as Jesus was with his followers, he is that personal with us, individually, today.” —Julie Bender

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One of the few certainties in life is also one of the things we fear most: change.

Change—whether expected or not—can instill fear in us due to the mere fact that what lies beyond it is unknown; we might see it as a threat to our purpose, safety, and comfort. But instead of fearing change, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender reason that it’s only frightening because we default to what can go wrong instead of what can go right. Change might be just what you need.

In this podcast episode, they challenge you to shift your perspective to embrace change and all the opportunities it can present. They’ll walk through some scenarios (think a new job or the end of a relationship) where change can offer more clarity and new areas for growth.

And if you’re still on the fence about change, let us leave you with food for thought: If you’ve encountered life changes before and you’re reading this today, that means you overcame them, and you’re capable of doing it again.

“To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often.” —Winston Churchill

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We have no tricks up our sleeves with this April Fool’s Day podcast—just wisdom to guide you along your grit and grace life. (But it might be foolish if you choose to skip this episode!)

The mark of a foolish person is one who carries on with life without learning to discern the different between fact and fiction, wisdom and folly. Even automobile magnate Henry Ford suggested as much: “The only real mistake we make is the one from which we learn nothing.”

Darlene Brock and Julie Bender take it one step further in this episode, offering 5 common life mistakes to avoid altogether. Some of these you may not have experienced yet; others you may repeatedly encounter. All the more reason to prepare for them now—you’ll know exactly what to do when the moment arrives!

“We’re all going to make mistakes, but we do not have to be fools about it.” —Darlene Brock

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Pornography is one of the most prevalent forms of addiction—something that can sneak into your home, under your nose, unnoticed. And those who are most susceptible to the dangers? Your kids.

Think about it—if there’s a TV or internet in your home, porn is there too. And as your child uses either of these (think research for a school projects), it’s inevitable they will stumble across pornographic content as some point. With children’s and teens’ natural curiosity at work, how do we protect them?

In this podcast episode, co-hosts Darlene Brock and Julie Bender share advice for approaching the subject of pornography with your child in a way that reflects their maturity and current stage of life. It helps to have a plan in place for navigating these admittedly awkward and uncomfortable discussions, so they offer helpful conversation starters and segues, book recommendations, and more to give you the edge in protecting your children from porn.

“Turn my eyes from worthless things and give me life through your word.” —Psalm 119:37

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Want to pray more but not sure where to start? Prayer is a wonderful, powerful privilege that gives us instant connection to the God of the universe. But, if we’re honest, it can also feel a bit daunting.

Historical images of prayer, both literal and figurative, give off the impression that our communication with God should be deeply rooted in religious formality. You know the kind: kneeling with our heads bowed and hands delicately clasped together. Not only is that kind of prayer often difficult to achieve with modern time constraints, but it doesn’t fully capture the kind of ‘open-24-hours’ communication that God desires with us.

In this podcast episode, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender discuss what prayer is: “life in constant communion and conversation with God.” They debunk common stereotypes around prayer and share easy-to-follow prayer structures for the times when you’re unsure of where to start or what to say. There’s power in any kind of prayer, anywhere—and God delights in hearing from us every single time.

“God cares about what we care about and wants us to talk to him about it.” —Darlene Brock

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The one thing most people fear more than death? Public speaking.¹

There’s something about standing in front of another person (or multiple people) and sharing our thoughts, ideas, and feedback that makes us want to shrink until we evaporate. But sometimes, neglecting to speak up for yourself can have harmful repercussions.

Here to help you see past your fear this week is Darlene Brock and Julie Bender, who get to work excavating the possible reasons why speaking up is so terrifying. Maybe you’ve often been ignored, or never taken seriously, or you feel you’ll come across as foolish (hello, imposter syndrome!). No matter the reason, one thing is for certain: there will be a void left by what you’re not saying.

Darlene and Julie discuss the myriad benefits of speaking up for yourself: setting critical boundaries; encouraging others; making life-changing connections; and more. When we choose to say what’s on our hearts and minds, even when it’s hard or we doubt ourselves, we’re affording those around us not only with new information to chew on, but a reminder of our presence and impact.

¹https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/what-we-fear-more-than-death 

“Someone not hearing you might say more about them as a listener than you as a speaker.” —Julie Bender

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How is your future looking right now? If what you’re envisioning feels bleak, let us offer some encouragement.

Hope often flies right out the door as soon as life starts to unravel differently than we planned. Your kids drop out of college. Your spouse is distant. You haven’t been promoted at work in years. When reality doesn’t match the vision, what can we look forward to?

In this episode of Smart Living in Small Bites, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender unpack ways to find hope in the mundane. It may require work on your end, like cutting back in certain areas to prioritize what’s needed to reach your goals. More often than not, holding on to hope simply calls for believing God’s promise in Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

And if you’re wondering when God will come through, take comfort in knowing it’ll be in his timing—which means it has yet to happen and you already have something to hope for.

While you practice staying hopeful, meditate on this nugget of wisdom Darlene shares: “Hope doesn’t exist without deprivation, need and lack.” What we’re lacking now gives us a reason to look forward to our future with optimism and become better versions of ourselves along the way.

“When you’re at the end of your rope, tie a knot and hold on.” —Theodore Roosevelt

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You’ve dreamt of wearing a billowy white dress and floating down the aisle to your prince charming since you were 5. Fast forward several years, and the man you love is doing everything but committing to making that dream a reality. Maybe you’ve been dating for years and are losing hope that a proposal will ever come, or you are engaged, but his promise of marriage feels empty and conversations around setting a date have stalled out. What do you do?

In this episode of Smart Living with Grit and Grace, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender talk about the current cultural view of marriage and the difficulties you may face in broaching your situation with an eye for the truth. If there hasn’t been any movement forward with your boyfriend/fiance, Darlene and Julie provide a series of questions to ask yourself that will help you honestly assess the quality of your relationship and determine whether or not he’s comfortable in staying uncommitted. You’ll then learn how to confidently approach him with your concerns and make a decision on how you want to move forward, based on his response.

This has been one of the most-searched subject on the Grit and Grace Life website for years, so we have plenty of wise advice in this episode—and resources below—to help you make a decision on your future when your partner is dragging his feet.

“Is he as interested in what matters to you as you are in what matters to him?” —Darlene Brock

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