The Healing Room

Philipp believed that liking what he saw in the mirror was vanity. Kacheve, who can style anyone beautifully, changes his outfit ten, twelve times a day because something whispers not good enough.

Show 8 is about what happens when you finally dare to see what you see.We begin in autumn's golden in-between light, that season with summer's fullness at its back and winter's melancholy still ahead. From there we turn to change: the kind that frightens us, the kind we resist, and the kind we need in order to keep moving.

In the Confession, Philipp admits that the mirror work Kacheve recommended felt esoteric and confronting, until one day it didn't. Kacheve opens up about over-processing every outfit, and Philipp names the light side of that shadow: a fine attunement to others that sometimes turns against himself. In Inspire, the script flips...


You are seen. You are not forgotten. You are never alone.
Sin bravely. New episodes every week.

Special acknowledgments to @DJRakim!

Kacheve was told he was cursed. Covered in darkness, blocked, never going to succeed, because he chose to live as a queer man. Philipp learned something quieter and just as heavy: that growing means growing apart. No guest this week. It's just the two of us, back in The Healing Room, following a thread from last week's fashion confessions to the question underneath them.

What does it take to grow, visibly and out loud, when growth has cost you people before? Kacheve confesses the generational curses spoken over him, and how he learned to answer every "you will never" with "I will, because I am me." 

Philipp confesses years of self-sabotage, and the moment he realised he had found someone who doesn't fear his growth but wants it. For inspiration, there's a poem first heard in a Latin classroom, Hermann Hesse's Stufen. Philipp carried it quietly through dark years and shares it publicly here for the first time.

Plus a fortune cookie, a drag queen's wisdom, and an endless blue horizon. Dare to grow. Take leave. 

Heal anew. Two lovers, one healing room.

You are seen. You are not forgotten. You are never alone.

🎧 New episodes weekly. Speak it Out.
Special acknowledgments to DJ Ricky!

Kacheve was eight years old when he tried on the dress. Then his grandfather walked in.This week we're joined in the healing room by Odair Pereira fashion designer, stylist, DJ, and the creative force behind DARE DESIGN for three confessions about what it costs to be seen.

Kacheve goes first: his mother's stock of church dresses, the one he couldn't stop looking at, and the moment his grandfather found him wearing it. He wanted to disappear into a hole. He also felt something like power. Both things were true.

Odair confesses the family pool, being called an elephant by his father in front of every cousin, niece and nephew and the mother who pushed him behind her and made a wall of herself. He didn't break. He walked into the fashion industry years later thinking: what are you going to tell me that I haven't already heard?

Philipp confesses something quieter. For years he told himself a noble story: that he was above fashion, above consumerism, above appearing at all. The truth was simpler. He was afraid to be visible, and he dressed the fear up as principle.

Then we go to Joseph the biblical dreamer in the coat of many colours, blessed for standing out and punished for exactly the same thing. Visibility as blessing and risk, in one garment.

And we ask Odair the question a lot of queer people are still afraid to ask out loud: what happens when you love God and you're fabulous?
His answer is disarmingly simple. There are no stops between him and God. Everything else is other people's insecurity.

Two lovers, one healing room.You are seen. You are not forgotten. You are never alone.

🎧 New episodes weekly. Speak it Out.

He was adopted from Brazil, raised in a Dutch village, and moved to Curaçao looking for neutral ground. It didn't work, and that's the confession.This week Fernando Gideon joins us in the Healing Room to talk about the identities we're handed, the ones we build, and the ones we quietly put down. Kacheve tells us about the single word he used as an antidote to invisibility. Philipp confesses to getting rid of his own roots on purpose. And a five-year-old girl in Brazil says something that undoes everything.

Confess - Inspire - Ask - Benediction.

If you have ever been told you're not really from where you're from, this one is for you.

You are seen. You are not forgotten. You are never alone.

We walked into a hotel bar in Maastricht for one glass of wine. We walked out having been read like a book. Her name was Theresa. She was Scottish, humble, and a complete stranger, and within an hour she had looked at Philipp and said the sentence that undid him: I can sense the displaced child in you. You were nearly not there.This week we talk about layers. The ones we build to survive small towns and strict churches. The ones we mistake for our actual face. And what happens when someone with no reason to care sees straight through all of them. Kacheve confesses a lifetime of serving everyone else and forgetting he was also a person. Philipp confesses that he never believed in alignment, energy, or anything he couldn't explain, until a woman at a bar proved him wrong. One glass of wine became a bottle. The layers came off anyway.

Come sit with us. The room is open.

You are seen. You are not forgotten. You are never alone.

What happens when a philosopher falls in love and his brain won't stop looking for the catch? This week in the Healing Room, we confess what love actually costs us: the surrender. Philipp admits he overanalyzes love until "too good to be true" becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, while Kacheve dives into the deep end heart-first and doesn't look back.

Between them: bell hooks on love as an act of will, Erich Fromm on extending yourself for another's growth, and a Rumi poem read aloud at night that changed everything. We talk sex versus love, mirror work, the risk of being seen, and why loving yourself isn't selfish; it's the doorway. 

Come home to the room, fellow sinners.

Love is not kitsch. It's surrender.

You are seen. You are not forgotten. You are never alone.

Special acknowledgments to @DJ_Rakim

What if the thing keeping you from a full life isn't sin, it's fear of punishment?

This week the Healing Room opens its door to Maggie Rowe, screenwriter, author, and dear friend, live from Los Angeles, the city of fallen angels. Maggie once checked herself into a psychiatric hospital whose slogan was "psychiatry where the Bible comes first”, and met a doctor who handed her a 500-year-old prescription from Martin Luther: pecca fortiter. Sin bravely.

Before we get there, we confess our own. Kacheve on the taboo he walked straight into, and on refusing baptism under enormous pressure. Philipp on a night spent under the gaze of a weeping Mother Mary. Neither of us has fully stopped flinching.

Maggie closes with a blessing for every queer listener who was taught that love is conditional. It isn't.

You are seen. You are not forgotten. You are never alone.

Next week: love, with bell hooks and Rumi.

Welcome to The Healing Room. Two lovers, one healing room, and two confessions we've been avoiding. Philipp admits he's been outsourcing his inner life to AI: not just emails and to-do lists, but comfort, reassurance, the small daily question of am I alright? Kacheve confesses a fear he carried for decades: dyslexia, and the shame that came with it. Books as enemies. Long texts as humiliation. Until a bookshop, and a Saturday afternoon, and someone standing next to him.In this first episode we ask what happens to a person who lets something predictable do their feeling for them. Philipp brings Hannah Arendt and her idea that we only truly appear in front of other human beings, never in front of a machine. Kacheve brings the harder proof: what it actually costs to walk into the room you've been running from.

Confess. Inspire. Ask. Send.
New episodes every week. Speak it out!

Special thanks and acknowledgement to @DJ_Rakim for the music!

The Healing Room - A Podcast About Relationship, Faith, and Coming Home to Yourself - Speak it Out! On air August 10th

First topics will be confessions about ourselves, struggling to find our inner voice in the time of Artificial intelligence and the imperative of perfection and self-optimization.  

The first element of a confession is a playful reference to our religious and spiritual backdrops, the ambivalent and still important relation with faith, twisted into something truly liberating, speaking out what moves you, makes your ashamed, you keep processing and want finally to get rid of by giving words to it.

The second element of inspiration gives depth, background and understanding to our confessions, using our own backdrops and sources of inspirations and those of guest as well. By bringing in philosophical elements, literature, personal experiences, art and everything else that can serve as a source of inspiration.

The third element is asking back to public, the topics for deepening and activating.

The final recurring element is the playful, still honest benediction and sending.

HOPE TO SEE U, August 10th in The Healing Room!