“If your goal is just to be the polar opposite of your parents, then you are probably screwing that up just as much as they did.”

This episode is part 3 of my conversation with Kate Anthony, an expert in communication, co-parenting, divorce, and emotional intelligence. She is passionate about helping other women to survive from the coercive control of abusive relationships and domestic violence. 

If you weren’t able to follow this episode, please go back and listen to parts 1 and 2. 

Join us in part three of this interview as Kate talks about breaking the pattern and parenting life after divorce. 

[00:01 – 08:00] Breaking the Predictable Pattern

• Kate talks about the moment when she finally realizes that she had to leave the relationship for her son.
• She realizes that if she stays in the marriage, her son would also become abusive to women. 
• Staying together kept both of them from finding happiness, love, and healthy relationships down the line.
• Kate talks about the co-parenting system she has with her ex-husband.
• You can only control what’s happening in your house, the healing process, and the therapy.
• Create a safe place and a safety net for your children and yourself.
• When you focus on yourself, you will have less time and energy to obsess about what other people are doing, and it will keep your mind from running. 

[08:01 – 20:27] Parenting Life after Divorce

• Most women, especially stay-at-home mothers, think that they need to have full custody because their ex-husband does not know how to take care of their children.
• Most men can not do it because they never had to.
• We have to give people the dignity of failing and allow them to find their own way.
• 50-50 custody is better for women, especially for working women.
• Kate talks about breaking the familiar cycle for herself and her son.
• Remove yourself from the situation and focus on your healing through therapy etc.
• In our generation, we can easily have access to personal development and therapy at this level.
• Kate talks about breaking the cycle of possessive parenting.
• The opposite of sick is sick.
• If your goal is just to be the polar opposite of your parent, then you are probably screwing that up just as much as they did.
• Kate talks about her way of parenting that lets her son explore the world.
• Open a safe space for discussion regarding many things with your child.
• We want our children to be able to come or call us in any situation.

Tweetable Quotes:

 “When you are focusing on yourself, you will have less time and energy to obsess about what other people are doing, and it will keep your mind from running..” - Kate Anthony

“We have to give people the dignity of failing and allow them to find their way.” - Kate Anthony

“If your goal is just to be the polar opposite of your parents, then you are probably screwing that up just as much as they did.” - Kate Anthony

Find out more about Kate by visiting her website, and you can connect with her through social media like Instagram and Facebook. 

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