This episode was inspired by one of our listeners. Jake’s questions are: How do you manage jerk behavior that is intended to be humorous? How does intended bonding turn into harm? We love these questions and they got us thinking about all of those actions and behaviours that we see as well-intentioned but that others see as jerky. On this episode, we explore the impact of off-handed remarks and observational comments, ways to react/respond if you are on the receiving end of said comment, and ways to improve our own self-awareness around what we say and do. 

Key Takeaways:

• Stop for a moment and think about how what you’re about to say or do may impact the other person; approach every interaction from a place of empathy
• If you’re on the receiving end of a comment, breathe and get some space before responding
• If someone lets you know that you’ve been an “inadvertent jerk,” own it, thank them for letting you know, and seek to understand
• Intention doesn’t mitigate impact
• We reference and recommend:
  • “Difficult Conversation: How to Discuss What Matters Most,” by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen
  • Fierce Conversations
  • “Leadership and Self-Deception; Getting Out of the Box,” by Arbinger Institute