Imagine waking up, grabbing your phone, and realizing civilization hit the off switch. Snapchat? Gone. Fortnite? Toast. Spotify? Buffering like it’s 2009. Thanks to Amazon Web Services catching the digital flu, half the planet’s apps went night-night. Tech bros pacing like stock market traders, gamers screaming into the void, influencers forced to touch grass for the first time since 2018. It’s giving apocalypse energy — just with more routers and panic tweets. Welcome to the dark age of Wi-Fi, population: all of us.