In this episode, Tiana Renee and Kira discuss how trauma impacts our approach to dating, love and relationships. They discuss how our frame of reference is packed away in our invisible suitcase and take that into all of our relationship (friends, family, and intimate partner). Additionally how the individuals in our lives challenge the work and healing that we have completed on ourselves. Tiana talks about how anxiety and certain sensations that resembles our trauma can lead to us targeting our partner which may not always be the case. She also breaks down how our brain is trained to respond to trauma. Kira shares why she believes your expectations show up in your behavior and how it reflects in our core beliefs. They both share how they detach from people and situations and how they prepare themselves for the worst case situation. They shared how healing looks in different people; especially when dating. Every person in your life will reveal something about you. The people who challenge you if they care, building a foundation that is built to last. Every time someone pulls something out of you, they are revealing another part of you. Tiana credits her therapist for references the Zillow commercial of Sue, who had to face all parts of herself when making a buying decision. The negative, spontaneous, paranoid, anti-social, lazy, stressed, helpful, and gullible sides of yourself. Therefore, you have to consider the people at your table and which side of yourself who is doing the work. Kira shares how she invests in her children mental health that will require additional professional resources. The two review a Psychology Today article about childhood trauma and Tiana shares tips for parents of children who have or are experiencing trauma. Kira shares how not address her childhood trauma cause her to consider conversations as confrontation. Kira asks the question that many may be asking, “Will everyone have trauma?” Tiana shares how a person’s environment and cultural norms contributes to how a person respond to experiences.

Guest: Tiana Renee, Cope for the Culture

Song Credit: Be Happy, Mary J. Blige

Book Reference:

The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy

Zillow Commercial (Sue):

https://youtu.be/amb7j9CY3bY

Psychology Today article:

Early Childhood Trauma: How Parents Can Help

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-race-good-health/201309/early-childhood-trauma-how-parents-can-help