Mon, Jan 19, 2026

The volatility is pathological.

Psychological theory suggests that men with deep-seated anxiety about their size often compensate with a need for admiration, a sense of entitlement, and arrogant behavior. When this phallic narcissism – where self-worth is tied to power and strength – is threatened, the reaction is often extreme, hostile, and abusive.

Stormy Daniels famously described Donald John Trump's anatomy as unusual, "like the mushroom character in Mario Kart." While it was the least impressive sex she'd ever had, he clearly didn't share that opinion.

Today, the market is pricing in the geopolitical equivalent of that delusion. The theme of the day is shrinkage: shrinking alliances, shrinking purchasing power, and shrinking US influence. The administration is adopting a persona of superiority to mask a fragile reality, and capital is fleeing the dollar for assets that don't depend on Donald John's ego.

The dollar is shrinking against gold, US soft power is shrinking against European defiance, and human relevance is shrinking against 24/7 algorithmic trading. The market is signaling that the only thing expanding is the volatility required to manage one man's insecurity.

Let's hope a tiny mushroom doesn't lead to giant mushroom clouds.