The first rule of karate is to resolve any situation without violence. Unless you're Danny LaRusso, of spaghetti-shirt fame, when your first rule is to punch first and apologise later. Join us for the Karate Kid (1984), where you can become a black belt in just a few day/night cycles. Warning: training may include household chores, emotionally abusing your girlfriend, and topless sparring with enemy number one (the Pacific Ocean).

Music created by Jack Parsons. Follow us on Twitter and check out our YouTube channel.