Shabbat Shalom!

It appears that every Jew in the world is expected to answer for Israel, and your host is no exception. So-called “progressives” have joined the “Free Palestine” movement, chanting “From the River to the Sea,” though most couldn’t say which river or sea. Few of these privileged Westerners have been to the Middle East or studied its complex history. They appear uninterested beyond slogans and what they consume on TikTok. They care more about virtue signaling than being virtuous.

Though I am a lifelong Democrat, my views don’t precisely align with some members of my party. Fine by me - life is more interesting with different points of view. It’s how we learn! Others prefer social media echo chambers where their opinions are reinforced, never challenged. Like most Jews, October 7 revealed that I had fewer friends that my social media accounts before that unimaginable day had suggested. The silence was deafening.

The haters are committed to misunderstanding me. I’d prefer to ignore them, but they leave defamatory reviews and attempt to tank my new podcast’s ratings. Please bear with me while I address their ugly lies in this episode.

It is possible to simultaneously hold multiple truths. I am a proud Jew who loves Israel (deep breaths, haters!). Pure evil exists in the world. It was unleashed on Israel on October 7. None of what happened that day was “resistance.” Israel did not deserve it. The world should have forced Hamas to return all the hostages on October 8. They all need to come home now.

I don’t support Israel’s current government and want the war in Gaza to end. Judaism’s teaching that every life is a universe applies to everyone. War is abominable. We need better ways to solve problems that don’t involve killing or maiming innocents. I believe if women held more positions of power, we would find them.

As a mother who never stops grieving for her late daughter, I would not wish my circumstances on anyone. When I lay my head down tonight, I will pray the same prayer that I pray every night. Please let my child feel my love, wherever she is now. Please bring peace and comfort to all who are suffering. May no more universes be extinguished.

Last Mother’s Day, my long-time friend, Stephanie Renner, discovered that her eighteen-year-old son, Jordan, had died. Jordan ended his life by suicide the prior day.

I’m honored that Stephanie agreed to chat with me, as the first anniversary of Jordan’s death and Mother’s Day approach. The words below were written by Stephanie to describe Jordan.

Jordan “Gilly” Gilford was a brilliant, vibrant soul with a healthy dose of stubbornness. He was incredibly passionate and his friends always speak of his beautiful smile and his infectious laugh. What they remember most, though, is his deep compassion and desire to help others. He volunteered his home regularly to people who needed a temporary refuge (both with and without the permission of his mom) and he was always concerned about his friends’ well-being.

Jordan could amaze you with his depth and passion. When he found something he loved, he would dive deep to learn all there was to know and given the chance, impart all of his new found knowledge to anyone who would listen. He especially loved talking political and current affairs and he definitely had opinions!

Even surrounded by tremendous love and encouragement, Jordan suffered from the sometimes-debilitating disease of mental illness. He wanted nothing more than to overcome it and was privileged to have many resources to help him do so, but sometimes the world is too hard and the weight of it is too heavy for people at a particular time and in a particular place. Unfortunately, Jordan came to this time and place and didn’t see another way out.

Jordan’s family and friends are committed to spreading the light and kindness that Jordan spread. They know how much he wanted other people to overcome the same struggles he faced and so many people have provided stories of how he convinced them to find help and that they are needed in this world. Gilly’s Friends is their way of honoring him and his beautiful spirit by providing unexpected love and a message of hope.

Please visit the Gilly’s Friends website to learn more about the ways that Stephanie is honoring Jordan and finding meaning amidst tragic loss - https://gillysfriends.com/.

I’m sending love to everyone for whom Mother’s Day is painful. I know there are many of us.

P.S. I chose this photo of Steph and me because we gotta laugh, even (especially) during dark times. There were funny moments in our conversation, including when Zoom demanded that I pay more money to keep recording and, after finally managing to pay, I couldn’t find the screen containing Stephanie’s lovely face. I was relieved that the entire episode recorded. Success! I had a guest on my podcast! Now that I’ve figured it out, I’ll bring you new perspectives weekly. Progress, not perfection.

In today’s episode of Coffee & Commiseration, we’re talking about grief (how parents and other family members grieve differently and how to find each other in your respective grief journeys), how to respond to stupid s**t people say when you’re going through something hard, how I keep going and living a life of meaning amidst soul-shattering loss, and what motivates me to do everything I do. Thank you for tuning in!

I don’t know about you, but my life feels pretty overwhelming. Juggling being a mom, maintaining a solid marriage, facing an uncertain future, living with ever-present grief, among other things, is A LOT!

How are ya’ll doing? What helps you to stay sane during insane times?

How do we keep our personal lives and families afloat while also making a difference in a world that needs us to fight for it?

Please join me for a cup of coffee or tea as we commiserate over difficult family relationships, serious illness, and feeling like we’re standing on shifting sands during these crazy times.

Yet, life is still beautiful. I’m grateful for every day and optimistic about the future. Pain and joy can co-exist.