What Holds Relationships Together?

The Key to Lasting Relationships - Matthew Kelly

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Video Transcript:

“When it comes to relationships, we always seem to be asking the wrong questions.

We spend too much time wondering why relationships don’t work out. Why friendships end. And why people break up. 

These are great questions, but surely the more important question is: What keeps people together? 

And not just together, but together in dynamic relationships. For the primary goal of relationships is not simply to stay together. Many people succeed in staying together but have failed relationships: their relationships are surviving but not thriving.

Common interests are not enough to build a great relationship on. They certainly can be part of one, but they don’t guarantee the success of a relationship.

Why? Because interests change.

You may share a love of movies, museums, art, animals, or any number of interests that can draw people together. But it is a mistake to think that these provide a solid foundation for a long-term relationship. 

In fact, common interests can very often turn out to be a false foundation, creating the illusion of a deeper relationship than is actually present. Common interests quite simply are not enough to build a dynamic long-term relationship upon. You need a common purpose.

My dream for you, is that in your primary relationships, you will arrive at an agreement with your partner that the purpose of your relationship will be to help each other become the-best-versions-of-yourselves. 

This common purpose will provide a touchstone of sanity in every situation and become the great guiding North Star of your relationship.

Do you share common purpose in your primary relationship? If you do, wonderful, I am so happy for you. If not, have that conversation with you partner, and have it today. Begin building your relationship on the solid foundation of common purpose.”

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