A Dispatch from the Confederacy of Oops, I Mean, the American South

Picture a democracy. 

Now set it on fire. 

Now draw a line around the fire. 

Congratulations — you've just gerrymandered the fire. 

Welcome to the American South in 2026, where the will of the people is less a sacred covenant and more of a rough first draft that the legislature reserves the right to edit, redline, and shred in the statehouse parking lot.

Let us begin with Calvin Duncan, a man who had the extraordinary audacity — the sheer, unmitigated gall — to win an election. 

In November, the voters of Orleans Parish gave Duncan 68 percent of the vote to become Criminal District Court Clerk. 

Sixty-eight percent. 

That is not a squeaker. 

That is a mandate delivered with the subtlety of a foghorn.

And so, naturally, Louisiana Governor Jeff Landry signed a bill abolishing the position entirely.

The legislation merged Duncan's newly-won office with the civil clerk's position and helpfully appointed someone else to run the whole thing. 

No election needed.