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The Lava Rock Effect
Why Other People's Emotions Keep Pulling You Away from Your Most Important Work
Have you ever sat down with a clear plan for your day… only to find yourself pulled into everyone else's problems?
In this episode, Erin shares a simple metaphor from the New Mexico desert that completely changed the way she thinks about work, leadership, and people-pleasing. Using the image of lava rock—with all of its tiny holes and distractions—she explores why so many caring professionals abandon their own priorities in order to manage relationships, smooth conflict, and keep everyone else comfortable.
If you've ever finished a workday exhausted without making progress on what mattered most, this episode will help you understand why—and how to begin changing the pattern with curiosity instead of self-criticism.
In this episode, you'll learn:
- Why people-pleasing is often a nervous system safety strategy—not a personality trait.
- How workplace relationships can quietly pull your attention away from your highest priorities.
- What this looks like in fundraising conversations with donors and volunteers.
- Why mindfulness helps you notice unconscious patterns before they take over your day.
- A simple question to ask yourself whenever you feel pulled into everyone else's agenda.
Resources mentioned
- Playing Big by Tara Mohr
If this episode resonated with you, subscribe so you never miss an episode, and join The Brave & Balanced Note, my free newsletter, for practical insights on emotional mastery, leadership, and fundraising without burnout.
Sign up here:
https://brave-balanced-note.kit.com/profile?_gl=1*qniw91*_gcl_au*MjEwODgyNzI0OS4xNzc1NzY5ODE1
If you found this conversation helpful, I'd be grateful if you'd leave a rating or review—it helps more thoughtful fundraisers discover the show.
Send Erin a text
Book your 1:1 Brave and Balanced Breakthrough Coaching Session here: https://calendly.com/vitalistcoaching/brave-balanced-breakthrough
✨ Stay Connected & Continue Your Fundraising Growth
Listen to all episodes + subscribe:
https://thebraveandbalancedfundraiser.buzzsprout.com
Join the community:
The Brave & Balanced Fundraiser Facebook Group
👉 https://www.facebook.com/groups/braveandbalancedfundraiser
Book a Brave & Balanced Breakthrough Call:
A personalized 1:1 session to support your inner clarity and fundraising wellbeing.
👉 https://calendly.com/vitalistcoaching/brave-balanced-breakthrough
Learn more about Erin’s coaching & nervous-system based support:
VitalistCoaching.com
Connect on Instagram:
@erinmcquadewright
View all episodes
By Erin McQuade-WrightWhy Other People's Emotions Keep Pulling You Away from Your Most Important Work
Have you ever sat down with a clear plan for your day… only to find yourself pulled into everyone else's problems?
In this episode, Erin shares a simple metaphor from the New Mexico desert that completely changed the way she thinks about work, leadership, and people-pleasing. Using the image of lava rock—with all of its tiny holes and distractions—she explores why so many caring professionals abandon their own priorities in order to manage relationships, smooth conflict, and keep everyone else comfortable.
If you've ever finished a workday exhausted without making progress on what mattered most, this episode will help you understand why—and how to begin changing the pattern with curiosity instead of self-criticism.
In this episode, you'll learn:
- Why people-pleasing is often a nervous system safety strategy—not a personality trait.
- How workplace relationships can quietly pull your attention away from your highest priorities.
- What this looks like in fundraising conversations with donors and volunteers.
- Why mindfulness helps you notice unconscious patterns before they take over your day.
- A simple question to ask yourself whenever you feel pulled into everyone else's agenda.
Resources mentioned
- Playing Big by Tara Mohr
If this episode resonated with you, subscribe so you never miss an episode, and join The Brave & Balanced Note, my free newsletter, for practical insights on emotional mastery, leadership, and fundraising without burnout.
Sign up here:
https://brave-balanced-note.kit.com/profile?_gl=1*qniw91*_gcl_au*MjEwODgyNzI0OS4xNzc1NzY5ODE1
If you found this conversation helpful, I'd be grateful if you'd leave a rating or review—it helps more thoughtful fundraisers discover the show.
Send Erin a text
Book your 1:1 Brave and Balanced Breakthrough Coaching Session here: https://calendly.com/vitalistcoaching/brave-balanced-breakthrough
✨ Stay Connected & Continue Your Fundraising Growth
Listen to all episodes + subscribe:
https://thebraveandbalancedfundraiser.buzzsprout.com
Join the community:
The Brave & Balanced Fundraiser Facebook Group
👉 https://www.facebook.com/groups/braveandbalancedfundraiser
Book a Brave & Balanced Breakthrough Call:
A personalized 1:1 session to support your inner clarity and fundraising wellbeing.
👉 https://calendly.com/vitalistcoaching/brave-balanced-breakthrough
Learn more about Erin’s coaching & nervous-system based support:
VitalistCoaching.com
Connect on Instagram:
@erinmcquadewright