Who were the "green children" of Woolpit? And where did they come from? And, where is Woolpit anyway? Also, what the heck does Woolpit mean? And what does any of it have to do with "light beer" and dieting? [Spoiler: nothing.] And did these "green children" come from a forest, another planet, an underground society, or another dimension? Who knows?!? But, regardless, let's discuss, because we need to determine whether or not it's ACCEPTABLY REAL.